My Husbands Cpap Adventure

Dan6 wrote:This whiny old fart couldn't keep the mask on until I found the right pressure, that took about 4 months and a change to APAP. After many different pressure changes I made one more change and went from 4-5 hrs per night with the mask on to 9.5 the first night. My average is almost 7 now.

I think the difference between you and him is that you wanted to make it work. I feel like I am beating my head against a wall with my husband. He has no desire to make it work. He just wants me to keep my mouth shut.

Stormynights wrote:I feel like I am beating my head against a wall with my husband. He has no desire to make it work. He just wants me to keep my mouth shut.

Show him a picture of the guy you will take up with once he dies.

Slip him a micky

Here's the deal...his pressure is sub optimal though very likely not by much. He is going to be a big baby about increasing the pressure but with the pressure being sub optimal he is greatly increasing the chances of simply the events causing arousals and thus also increasing the chance of the mask coming off in the middle of the night.
He simply doesn't want to make it work and is throwing out every obstacle both to you and he is letting his brain through out some obstacles about keeping the mask on.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. I used to do endurance racing and a horse drinking water was critical to the horse's well being but you know what....they won't drink just because I want them to.

If his pressure was optimal and events were low....he is still going to throw up road blocks because he isn't on board with the therapy and is making zero effort to tell the brain to stop him from pulling the mask off in the middle of the night.

Normally we would say...some therapy is better than no therapy if he would just leave the mask on all night...Any reduction in events is better than no reduction but no if he won't even keep the mask on.
He may have such an ingrained road block that the mask would come off anyway but all I know to offer is to try to reduce the events in hopes that at least that possible arousal issue is removed so that he stands a greater chance of keeping the mask on.

So not only is his conscious brain not on board...his sub conscious isn't either. You are fighting 2 very powerful forces there.

Slip him a mickey in the form of APAP mode with the 6 cm minimum pressure he is willing to try and the mickey part is the maximum of 7 to 8. Once asleep he won't notice it that little of a change and if we get lucky maybe the events will reduce and thus reduce the chance that event related arousals are mucking up things.

Otherwise...you can't force him to drink. He is going to be just as stubborn about it as my horse was. I know its awfully frustrating but if they don't really want to do something....we can't make them do it.
He's just trying to make up for making you so mad last weekend...he isn't wanting to do this for himself other than to maybe get out of the dog house for a short time.
Sometimes we just don't have 2 X 4s big enough to get some common sense through their thick skulls.

StuUnderPressure wrote:

Stormynights wrote:I feel like I am beating my head against a wall with my husband. He has no desire to make it work. He just wants me to keep my mouth shut.

Show him a picture of the guy you will take up with once he dies.

My husband thinks I am beautiful and all the men in the world would love to have me. He is delusional and I don't want to contribute to that.

My second husband said my worst fault was that I was too easy going.

It isn't easy being a bitch but I am trying my hardest. Wish me luck.

Pugsy wrote:

Slip him a micky

Here's the deal...his pressure is sub optimal though very likely not by much. He is going to be a big baby about increasing the pressure but with the pressure being sub optimal he is greatly increasing the chances of simply the events causing arousals and thus also increasing the chance of the mask coming off in the middle of the night.
He simply doesn't want to make it work and is throwing out every obstacle both to you and he is letting his brain through out some obstacles about keeping the mask on.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. I used to do endurance racing and a horse drinking water was critical to the horse's well being but you know what....they won't drink just because I want them to.

If his pressure was optimal and events were low....he is still going to throw up road blocks because he isn't on board with the therapy and is making zero effort to tell the brain to stop him from pulling the mask off in the middle of the night.

Normally we would say...some therapy is better than no therapy if he would just leave the mask on all night...Any reduction in events is better than no reduction but no if he won't even keep the mask on.
He may have such an ingrained road block that the mask would come off anyway but all I know to offer is to try to reduce the events in hopes that at least that possible arousal issue is removed so that he stands a greater chance of keeping the mask on.

So not only is his conscious brain not on board...his sub conscious isn't either. You are fighting 2 very powerful forces there.

Slip him a mickey in the form of APAP mode with the 6 cm minimum pressure he is willing to try and the mickey part is the maximum of 7 to 8. Once asleep he won't notice it that little of a change and if we get lucky maybe the events will reduce and thus reduce the chance that event related arousals are mucking up things.

Otherwise...you can't force him to drink. He is going to be just as stubborn about it as my horse was. I know its awfully frustrating but if they don't really want to do something....we can't make them do it.
He's just trying to make up for making you so mad last weekend...he isn't wanting to do this for himself other than to maybe get out of the dog house for a short time.
Sometimes we just don't have 2 X 4s big enough to get some common sense through their thick skulls.

You are so right. I think now is is just thinking (she is happy now because I made a little effort for her so I can start acting up again)

Since I'm one of the approx. 4 hrs per night crowd (and it's a struggle at that even!), may I say that perhaps you can offer him a carrot stick if he can keep it on for 4.15 hrs. And then gradually increase his rewards with more time spent with the mask on. Perhaps a reward system of sorts might work . I think rewards work with adults just as with children. Some people don't respond to being told that they need to be doing better and all the technical reasons why they should. Some just dig their heels in deeper with what they think is yet another lecture. Perhaps he will respond to a different approach. Surprise him! Just a suggestion.

Hi Stormy Nights,

Would a bipap help your husband tolerate the machine better? We used to have a poster by the name of RobySue who was able to get one for aerophagia at I believe a pressures of 9/4.

Don't how insurance would work in your husband being able to get one because so far, all he has seemed to complain about is cpap intolerance generally. But it still might be worth looking into.

49er

49er wrote:Hi Stormy Nights,

Would a bipap help your husband tolerate the machine better? We used to have a poster by the name of RobySue who was able to get one for aerophagia at I believe a pressures of 9/4.

Don't how insurance would work in your husband being able to get one because so far, all he has seemed to complain about is cpap intolerance generally. But it still might be worth looking into.

49er

I have wondered about that. It just took forever to get him a machine in the first place. It was a typical delivery, here is a machine and here is a mask goodbye. His settings were 6 to 12. He gets absolutely no support except for me. He put his mask on and threw it all the wall and said he had enough. He couldn't wear it. I am at my wits end. If he was making an effort it would make a huge difference but he isn't.

Stormynights wrote:

49er wrote:Hi Stormy Nights,

Would a bipap help your husband tolerate the machine better? We used to have a poster by the name of RobySue who was able to get one for aerophagia at I believe a pressures of 9/4.

Don't how insurance would work in your husband being able to get one because so far, all he has seemed to complain about is cpap intolerance generally. But it still might be worth looking into.

49er

I have wondered about that. It just took forever to get him a machine in the first place. It was a typical delivery, here is a machine and here is a mask goodbye. His settings were 6 to 12. He gets absolutely no support except for me. He put his mask on and threw it all the wall and said he had enough. He couldn't wear it. I am at my wits end. If he was making an effort it would make a huge difference but he isn't.

Has he mentioned specifically what bothers him about wearing the mask? I am just curious if it is the mask that is troublesome or the sensation of blowing out against a constant pressure.

If it is the constant pressure, I just realized you might want to turn on the EPR feature to see if that would help. Might be a better option vs. worrying about whether insurance would pay for a bipap which would require a titration.

49er wrote:

Stormynights wrote:

49er wrote:Hi Stormy Nights,

Would a bipap help your husband tolerate the machine better? We used to have a poster by the name of RobySue who was able to get one for aerophagia at I believe a pressures of 9/4.

Don't how insurance would work in your husband being able to get one because so far, all he has seemed to complain about is cpap intolerance generally. But it still might be worth looking into.

49er

I have wondered about that. It just took forever to get him a machine in the first place. It was a typical delivery, here is a machine and here is a mask goodbye. His settings were 6 to 12. He gets absolutely no support except for me. He put his mask on and threw it all the wall and said he had enough. He couldn't wear it. I am at my wits end. If he was making an effort it would make a huge difference but he isn't.

Has he mentioned specifically what bothers him about wearing the mask? I am just curious if it is the mask that is troublesome or the sensation of blowing out against a constant pressure.

If it is the constant pressure, I just realized you might want to turn on the EPR feature to see if that would help. Might be a better option vs. worrying about whether insurance would pay for a bipap which would require a titration.

EPR is 3. He says it is too much pressure for him.

Stormynights wrote:

49er wrote:

Stormynights wrote:

49er wrote:Hi Stormy Nights,

Would a bipap help your husband tolerate the machine better? We used to have a poster by the name of RobySue who was able to get one for aerophagia at I believe a pressures of 9/4.

Don't how insurance would work in your husband being able to get one because so far, all he has seemed to complain about is cpap intolerance generally. But it still might be worth looking into.

49er

I have wondered about that. It just took forever to get him a machine in the first place. It was a typical delivery, here is a machine and here is a mask goodbye. His settings were 6 to 12. He gets absolutely no support except for me. He put his mask on and threw it all the wall and said he had enough. He couldn't wear it. I am at my wits end. If he was making an effort it would make a huge difference but he isn't.

Has he mentioned specifically what bothers him about wearing the mask? I am just curious if it is the mask that is troublesome or the sensation of blowing out against a constant pressure.

If it is the constant pressure, I just realized you might want to turn on the EPR feature to see if that would help. Might be a better option vs. worrying about whether insurance would pay for a bipap which would require a titration.

EPR is 3. He says it is too much pressure for him.

Hmm, I wish there was a way he could try the BiPap to see if that would be more comfortable. One minute, I am thinking it wouldn't be helpful and the next minute, I feel differently.

Ok, since he was succeeding at 4, would he be willing to try that again? Or would your husband be willing to try using the machine while watching TV in small increments. Start off with 5 minutes and work his way up to an hour. And then try using the machine at night at a pressure of 4 for an hour and work his way through the night at that pressure.

Or is it as Pugsy pretty much said in her previous post?

49er

I left it set at 5. I don't see any reason to change it at this point. He says his throat is sore. I put a full face mask on him. I will try another night as is and then go from there. He is being such a spoiled baby.

Talk with your doctors about [1,2].

[1]: Gilmartin G, McGeehan B, Vigneault K, Daly RW, Manento M, Weiss JW, Thomas RJ.
Treatment of positive airway pressure treatment-associated respiratory instability with enhanced expiratory rebreathing space (EERS).
Source: J Clin Sleep Med. 2010 Dec 15;6(6):529-38. Division of Pulmonary, Critical Care and Sleep Medicine, Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Boston, MA, USA.
Link: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21206741

[2]: Dynamic CO2 therapy in periodic breathing: a modeling study to determine optimal timing and dosage regimes
Yoseph Mebrate, Keith Willson, Charlotte H. Manisty, Resham Baruah, Jamil Mayet, Alun D. Hughes, Kim H. Parker and Darrel P. Francis
J Appl Physiol 107:696-706, 2009. First published 23 July 2009; doi: 10.1152/japplphysiol.90308.2008
Link: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19628721

Yea! He kept his mask on over 6 hours. His AHI 13.7 but we still made progress.


Channel Min Med 95% Max
PressurePressure (cmH20)
W-Avg: 0.00 5.00 0.00 0.00 0.00
Minute Vent.Minute Ventilation (L/min)
W-Avg: 4.03 0.12 3.88 8.12 17.50
Resp. RateRespiratory Rate (breaths/min)
W-Avg: 17.73 1.81 18.80 21.40 22.60
LeaksLeak Rate (L/min)
W-Avg: 6.60 0.00 3.54 22.00 29.97
Total LeaksTotal Leak Rate (L/min)
W-Avg: 61.88 44.00 61.00 70.68 79.82
SnoreSnore (unknown)
W-Avg: 0.31 0.00 0.00 2.22 8.71
Insp TimeInspiratory Time (seconds)
W-Avg: 2.49 0.26 1.60 3.12 8.32
Exp TimeExpiratory Time (seconds)
W-Avg: 1.35 0.12 1.46 1.86 2.26
Tidal VolumeTidal Volume (ml)
W-Avg: 229.26 16.67 200.00 420.00 1089.60

Machine Settings
Pr. ReliefPressure Relief C-Flex x3
HumidifierHumidifier Setting x4

Is there a way to change the machine settings though Encore like there is with Rescan on the S9? It is so much easier than doing it in a dark bedroom.