My life just fell apart

Phil_in_CA · Post by **Phil_in_CA** » Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:38 pm

Prayers and [[[hugs]]] sent to you and your son, Kat.

"For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."

I am certain that there are more than two or three here praying for God to protect and bless you! God is with you!

2 B Sleeping Soundly · Post by **2 B Sleeping Soundly** » Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:46 pm

Addercatter,
So sorry for what you are going through! I will be praying for you and ask that God will provide strength, comfort and protection.
John

Deuteronomy 31:6(NIV)
6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

SleepyToo2 · Post by **SleepyToo2** » Wed Nov 21, 2012 4:53 am

Addercatter wrote:
cosmo wrote:Is this domestic violence from someone you know?
Yes

Addercatter, especially with this new information (for us), you are in my prayers. Violence is always to be condemned, but IMHO it seems worse when it is in the home, where we should feel completely safe. If you don't want to go to the police just yet (and that may be just an assumption on my part that I need to apologize for), is there a church-related hospital near you? We have one near us that is very good. One of the questions we always get asked is if we have ever experienced any violence in the home, so obviously they have the systems in place to help with this kind of thing. Please do seek help close to you as soon as possible so that the element of fear can be removed from your life.

JO'M · Post by **JO'M** » Wed Nov 21, 2012 8:38 am

Thinking of you this morning and offering you a (((((hug)))))

lazer · Post by **lazer** » Wed Nov 21, 2012 9:07 am

Sorry you are going through something like this Kat. I hope you can stay safe and will pray for you. Glad you got some peace last night. Nobody deserves to go through something like you described. Continue to do whatever you need to do to protect yourself, you are number 1, not nobody else. I strongly believe in self-defense. I'm glad you have the police involved but remember, you also have the right to protect yourself by any means necessary.

And...:

2Tim215 · Post by **2Tim215** » Wed Nov 21, 2012 12:22 pm

Phil_in_CA wrote:Prayers and [[[hugs]]] sent to you and your son, Kat.

"For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."
Amen!!!

I am certain that there are more than two or three here praying for God to protect and bless you! God is with you!

johnthomasmacdonald · Post by **johnthomasmacdonald** » Wed Nov 21, 2012 1:26 pm

I don't know if this will help but it has been very helpful to me and some friends of mine who have tried it - consider whatever happens - no matter how awful, to actually be a good thing in the long run - since our lives our stories in which we have no idea how they are really going to turn out in the long run except inevitably death at the end, you really can't know the ultimate consequence of events that are occurring at this moment in time - for example, we all know of the stories of people who win the lottery and end up killing themselves later on as well as people who get fired from their jobs and it leads to their finding the job of their dreams. Seeing it this way can get you through the bad times with your spirit intact and also lead you to see the most productive solutions out of many possible ways of reacting. We can't prevent many of the bad things that happen to us in this life, but we can control how we react to them - not that it is easy but it is at least possible.

It's similar to a story the Buddha used to tell of an old farmer telling a story: " it went something like: my son's horse tripped and he badly broke his leg and will always walk with a limp, and the listener responded: " oh, that's terrible! what bad luck!" and the farmer responded: " no it was great luck as the prince gathered all the able bodied young men for the army and every last one was slaughtered in a great defeat" - and it went on and on with everything that looked good having a bad result and everything bad having a good result - the message being that we can't really judge things when we are too close to them - so choose to take a positive view of all events and you are as likely as not to be correct and even if not it helps you to survive the truly bad ones

Addercatter · Post by **Addercatter** » Wed Nov 21, 2012 3:46 pm

Wow John that really hit home and made a lot of sense to me. Thank you very much.

jencat824 · Post by **jencat824** » Wed Nov 21, 2012 4:00 pm

Cat,
I'm still praying for you. John's post was moving & shows the positive side can be seen in something horrible. I hope you are a little better now. I was assaulted when I was 19 yrs old, I learned a lot from that awful experience. One of the things I learned was that people in a community come together in bad times and you can learn how wonderful people can be when they come together for you. Of course my experience was prior to the internet, so you have even more friends in cyberspace who want to help. I hope things are getting a little better, I'm sending hugs your way.
Jen

cosmo · Post by **cosmo** » Wed Nov 21, 2012 4:32 pm

Temporary restraining order, then you can file for a permanent one if you haven't already done so. Its a start.

I saw my brother getting beat up by his wife. The ending of it anyways. It was only a few months ago. They were separated and living apart for a few months already. She didn't know where he was living or with whom so she tailed him after he closed his store. She lost it when she saw his new gf. She chased his car and tapped the rear bumper a little. The next morning was the beating.

She had been using him as a punching/kicking bag for about an hour before I arrived. He didn't want to call the cops and he wasn't going to hit her back because he didn't want to go to jail. I ended up calling the cops and she was hauled off. He didn't want to incriminate her but they saw the bruising and torn clothes so they took her anyways. He had bruising, scratches and she had busing around her wrist only.

Before going to jail for the day, she had been coming by often to harass him, calling often and not let him see the kids. After it, he's been able to see the kids when he wants and she hasn't tried anything It also helps that he has the surveillance footage of the beating and I have cell phone video of what I saw and heard. We haven't shown the cops or anyone. She doesn't know about the videos either.

jencat824 · Post by **jencat824** » Wed Nov 21, 2012 4:37 pm

cosmo wrote:Temporary restraining order, then you can file for a permanent one if you haven't already done so. Its a start.

I saw my brother getting beat up by his wife. The ending of it anyways. It was only a few months ago. They were separated and living apart for a few months already. She didn't know where he was living or with whom so she tailed him after he closed his store. She lost it when she saw his new gf. She chased his car and tapped the rear bumper a little. The next morning was the beating.

She had been using him as a punching/kicking bag for about an hour before I arrived. He didn't want to call the cops and he wasn't going to hit her back because he didn't want to go to jail. I ended up calling the cops and she was hauled off. He didn't want to incriminate her but they saw the bruising and torn clothes so they took her anyways. He had bruising, scratches and she had busing around her wrist only.

Before going to jail for the day, she had been coming by often to harass him, calling often and not let him see the kids. After it, he's been able to see the kids when he wants and she hasn't tried anything It also helps that he has the surveillance footage of the beating and I have cell phone video of what I saw and heard. We haven't shown the cops or anyone. She doesn't know about the videos either.

This kind of abuse if more common that people think. Women can hit men too. Either type of abuse is awful, but your suggestion of a restraining order is a start. Sometimes the abuser does not acknowledge the order and keeps up the stalking/abuse anyway. But it is a start.
Jen

Phil_in_CA · Post by **Phil_in_CA** » Wed Nov 21, 2012 5:05 pm

We can't prevent many of the bad things that happen to us in this life, but we can control how we react to them

Thanks John.

Reminds me of this, "We can't change the wind, we can only adjust our sails"

Kat, the wind is coming to you at a tough angle, right now, BUT work on adjusting your sails so that YOU stay on course; and you CAN stay on course, believe me!

[[[more hugs]]]]

makezmuzic · Post by **makezmuzic** » Wed Nov 21, 2012 5:13 pm

Sending healing and positive vibes and energy your way. I hope work out for you. Peace.

BlackSpinner · Post by **BlackSpinner** » Wed Nov 21, 2012 5:31 pm

johnthomasmacdonald wrote:I don't know if this will help but it has been very helpful to me and some friends of mine who have tried it - consider whatever happens - no matter how awful, to actually be a good thing in the long run - since our lives our stories in which we have no idea how they are really going to turn out in the long run except inevitably death at the end, you really can't know the ultimate consequence of events that are occurring at this moment in time -

You are very right. I have a wonderful daughter and granddaughter that resulted from a nightmare situation.

chunkyfrog · Post by **chunkyfrog** » Wed Nov 21, 2012 7:04 pm

I am thankful for quick-witted people, who when bad things happen, remember to record video with their phone.
One day, this will be so commonplace that there will be no safe place to take away the safety of another person.

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