Which feels worse: severe sleep apnea or nursing a newborn?

Hi there! I was just diagnosed with SA around a month ago. I also have 4 children, 2 of which I was able to breast feed. Breast feeding can be miserable at first. But after a few weeks, the experience should become positive and an enjoyable bonding moment for mom and baby.

If it goes beyond a few weeks and your wife is still in a lot of pain, something may be wrong. The baby might not be latching on correctly, your wife may not be producing enough milk (not something she can control, some women just aren't physically able to), sometimes breast feeding can cause blocked glands which can be very painful, or even cause an infection in some cases (happened to me once).

None of these things are anyone's fault, but if it continues to be painful for your wife, she may want to see a lactation consultant (preferably) or at least her ob/gyn. I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but I've been there and am only giving this advice out of concern for you wife and child.

I was unable to breast feed my youngest due to her frenulum being attached too close to the tip of her tongue. It was a miserable two weeks of breast feeding until we realized what was wrong. She was physically unable to latch on correctly. On the other hand, I breastfed my youngest son for 11 months and loved every minute of it.

So of course, I would rather be breast feeding my baby (if I had one... They are teenagers now) than dealing with my SA for the rest of my life. But we don't get to choose one or the other, and the pain and exhaustion of both are very different types of pain and exhaustion.

I know how you feel also. It's been a very long time since I've had a good nights sleep, and how the heck am I going to get used to sleeping with this thing attached to my face??? And all the other crap that goes along with SA and the machines. Ugh.

Please give your wife my words of encouragement and she is welcome to pm me anytime if she is feeling frustrated or needs advice from a mom who has been there and done that with a variety of results.

Sorry this was such a long reply. People who have been reading my posts are probably figuring out that once I get going its hard for me to stop!

Anyway, good luck to the both of you and enjoy your precious little gift every second of every day.

Best wishes, Kat

Wait a minute!

Let me get this straight: You mean to tell me that all this time I've been posting on a CPAP board?!! Why didn't someone tell me that earlier?!

I think we often mind each other's business here. You'll get used to it.

Be nice to SU, please, tho. She may be direct, not wishy-washy like me, but she is just trying to be helpful, like everyone else is trying. I'm glad to know about the book, myself, even though I have no kids.

Then again, maybe I just like her posts because they aren't half as sarcastic and know-it-all as my posts are.

Ah, the ongoing joys of the sleep-deprived!

Good thread.

sleepnasta wrote:

SleepingUgly wrote:

sleepnasta wrote: i'll let you know once i start sleeping well on a regular basis but that could be several years from now when my kids quit waking up in the middle of the night

Just so you know, that's a choice. You can train your kids to sleep and not wake you (obviously not as newborns), or you can train them to wake you for years. You'll be lie in whichever bed you've made! If you're interested in sleeping and in your kids' good quality sleep, read Jodi Mindell's Sleeping Through the Night.

and if you're interested in not being a know-it-all busy body i recommend you read my book. it's called "mind your own business"!

Wow! Didn't your mama tell you that "If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut" This goes double for sleep deprived people, who have been documented to bomb hospitals and schools without the slightest twinge.

RATS! Leave it to a Canadian to get CPAPtalk put right back onto the Homeland Security Watch List!

I think starting a reply with "just so you know..." is the same as saying "I'm a condescending twit...please ignore me."
I guess some of you have been here a while and know each other and I understand you want to come to SU's defense. It's no skin off my back. But I take offense when someone gives me unsolicited advice and acts like they know better than me about something that, incidentally, i happen to know quite a lot about. But that's beside the point. If I wanted to know about sleep training or anything else, I'd ask.

BlackSpinner wrote:

sleepnasta wrote:

SleepingUgly wrote:

sleepnasta wrote: i'll let you know once i start sleeping well on a regular basis but that could be several years from now when my kids quit waking up in the middle of the night

Just so you know, that's a choice. You can train your kids to sleep and not wake you (obviously not as newborns), or you can train them to wake you for years. You'll be lie in whichever bed you've made! If you're interested in sleeping and in your kids' good quality sleep, read Jodi Mindell's Sleeping Through the Night.

and if you're interested in not being a know-it-all busy body i recommend you read my book. it's called "mind your own business"!

Wow! Didn't your mama tell you that "If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut" This goes double for sleep deprived people, who have been documented to bomb hospitals and schools without the slightest twinge.

Did yours?!

sleepnasta wrote:

BlackSpinner wrote:

sleepnasta wrote:

SleepingUgly wrote:

sleepnasta wrote: i'll let you know once i start sleeping well on a regular basis but that could be several years from now when my kids quit waking up in the middle of the night

Just so you know, that's a choice. You can train your kids to sleep and not wake you (obviously not as newborns), or you can train them to wake you for years. You'll be lie in whichever bed you've made! If you're interested in sleeping and in your kids' good quality sleep, read Jodi Mindell's Sleeping Through the Night.

and if you're interested in not being a know-it-all busy body i recommend you read my book. it's called "mind your own business"!

Wow! Didn't your mama tell you that "If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut" This goes double for sleep deprived people, who have been documented to bomb hospitals and schools without the slightest twinge.

Did yours?!

Yes but sometimes you just have to get over it and tell someone off for being a total jerk to your friends.

Come on, guys. If you don't like the topic or opinions of the person who posted it, then don't read it. Or at least keep rude thoughts and comments off the thread, so that the people who are interested in the actual topic and helping this person can do so without having to sort through all the negative stuff. I'm a positive person and would like to have actual conversations about topics I am interested in. Please be considerate of that for all of us who are truly wanting to participate in a positive manor

Thank you, Kat

sleepnasta wrote:I think starting a reply with "just so you know..." is the same as saying "I'm a condescending twit...please ignore me."
I guess some of you have been here a while and know each other and I understand you want to come to SU's defense. It's no skin off my back. But I take offense when someone gives me unsolicited advice and acts like they know better than me about something that, incidentally, i happen to know quite a lot about. But that's beside the point. If I wanted to know about sleep training or anything else, I'd ask.

Obviously you have not had sufficient restorative sleep lately...and yes, this is unsolicited advice from me to you. There is no reason for you to come back with such nasty answers...wait .....maybe since your forum name is sleepnasta...being nasty is your normal persona. Get some sleep, and come back when you are in a better frame of mind. This is a forum for sleep apnea patients to get advice and help with sleep apnea problems....and yes, there are many of us that have been here for a long time and consider each other good friends......we may joke around at times, but the main reason we are here is to help out those that need the help. The original question by this patient was to seek advice as to who has it worse..him or her........not for you to take out your aggression on someone else. If you have some questions about your therapy or any problems..please do not hesitate to ask..that is the reason we are here.
Sleep apnea patients with insuffiecient or nonrestorative sleep tend to be cranky and abusive, we encourage and help them to get their sleep problems fixed so that they are no longer overtired and cranky.
I hope you get better soon....CHEERS
Nan.

This board has a long history of addressing sleep problems beyond apnea, and sleep-hygiene issues in particular. So, to my ears, pointing someone to a publication for ideas that might help the person as a parent sleep through the night didn't sound off-topic. And the "just so you know" was appreciated by me, since I personally don't know much about training kids in such matters and it was a new idea to me. I assume SU was greatly helped by the book, and perhaps her enthusiasm about it came across condescending to you. If so, feel free to be offended and to express your offense. But I think if you hang around this board a while, you may pick up on the personalities and see that for the most part, few who hang out here are trying to offend anyone. That's my take anyway. I hope my expressing my take just now didn't come across to you as sounding condescending. If it did, I apologize for that. I hope you get great benefit from what you read at cpaptalk.com, if you can read around the misunderstandings and occasional warped humor that is popular here.

jnk wrote:This board has a long history of addressing sleep problems beyond apnea, and sleep-hygiene issues in particular. So, to my ears, pointing someone to a publication for ideas that might help the person as a parent sleep through the night didn't sound off-topic. And the "just so you know" was appreciated by me, since I personally don't know much about training kids in such matters and it was a new idea to me. I assume SU was greatly helped by the book, and perhaps her enthusiasm about it came across condescending to you. If so, feel free to be offended and to express your offense. But I think if you hang around this board a while, you may pick up on the personalities and see that for the most part, few who hang out here are trying to offend anyone. That's my take anyway. I hope my expressing my take just now didn't come across to you as sounding condescending. If it did, I apologize for that. I hope you get great benefit from what you read at cpaptalk.com, if you can read around the misunderstandings and occasional warped humor that is popular here.

thanks for your insight. i'm not offended at all. i do plan to stick around. the information i've learned here so far has been helpful and i can use all the help i can get with the cpap/apnea stuff. regards.