Help, CPAP and hair loss?

unclebob wrote:Bunch of sickos on this thread. Not me I tell you - no way!

Peak of health I am and very very handsome if you must know. This has led to some minor difficulty in my life what with my Hollywood agents, fans and of course the damn paparazzi. One of those buggers got so close with his camera he hit me in the eye. To protect myself in future I had my retina detached and for protection had a plastic shield inserted. Let em come at me now with their cameras.

The fans too, are a real problem. They don't seem to understand I am a person too with my own feelings. Always clamoring to touch me and yank on my skin and hair. Idiots pulled all the hair off my head and now can only seem to grow it on my ears and in my nose. Got very depressed with all this so now take 50mg Sertraline to cheer me up. Hollywood agent suggested I get some kind of a disguise so am constantly trying to change my appearance. Latest trick seems to be working as am not chased about as much anymore but the extra 75 pounds the disguise weighs seems to tire me out.

Had to adjust the disguise for some damn picture they wanted to do as the cheap bastards wouldn't buy a bigger camera lens. Found a great solution by simply getting rid of the appendix and gall bladder. You know how it is, they always want a little more so take 25mg Novohydrazide. The size of my ankles shrunk nicely and am now the right size. Pee a lot but at least I'm the right size.

While on the subject of peeing, not sure where it happened, probably some public bathroom somewhere, but some jerk stuck his finger up my ass. Scared the hell out of me and to be safe - you never know what you may catch when some guy sticks his finger up your ass, yeah it was a guy otherwise I could have understood; I have decided to get checked out, just for precaution you understand. Checking out means they shove a knife up where the jerk had his finger and chop out any infection or other things he may have left behind (did you get that pun?) Anyway I get to take 1000mg Cipro XL for 3 days - kind of adds to my already colorful breakfast which has included 250mg Biaxin this past week.

When they do all this I am going to warn them not to use too long a knife that might scare a buddy of mine I'm hiding way up there.

Better explain that. I am originally from the West, you know - where the deer and the antelope play, also cows and horses. Just love those critters and hold them close to my heart, real close. So close in fact I decided to zip out ol Arni the Aortic valve and replace it with one of my all time favorites Clarabelle the Cow. I feed Clara 10mg Norvasc just to keep her healthy and active. She can be obstinate once in a while so I zap her with a neat cattle prod I have hidden up there. It really is tough to get good help as she is always bitching about the pressure she is under. Nice guy I am I give her daily treats of 10mg Altace.

My heart was so anxious to see Clara it was just a quivering. Had to shock the damn thing several times just to get it settle down. It finally came to it's senses on the highest shock setting but am told will always feel this way about Clara.

You may be thinking there is nothing worse then looking up from below but there is.

Better explain that too. Wanted to add a little excitement in my life one day by going for a joy ride. I staged this scene, from a roll I was playing, to test people if they knew how and when to dial 911. Well they passed and I got my joy ride all right. Liked it so much I've taken 5 of them in the past 3 years and sometimes just for the hell of it I skittle down the same route my joy ride drivers take. No bells, whistles or flashing lights though so not the same effect. Back to the story - looking down from above ain't much fun either. That's where they really have the long knives so don't really know why they can't make up their minds and just use one end or the other. Probably a specialist for each end, can you believe it? So anyway, they like to take little snippets from my esophagus - thats OK as it too helps with the disguise. They really seem to get off on this sort of thing and want me back every year. As a lure they use 30mg Prevacid.

You other guys all seem to think you have, what ya call it? SA or something? Not me! Nope, just been fooling all of you. What I do have, and this stems from my acting career in Hollywood, is a mask fetish. Actually I love the thing, seems to have as much hot air as I do and some nights we really do battle. But we always kiss and make up. Am really quite possessive of Millie the Mask. So much so that I've trained my legs to be very active when asleep and kick wifey right out of bed so I can be alone with Millie. Wifey just doesn't understand!

If you made it this far, you can go to bed now!

Bob F