noise variations disturb spouse

I have been on a cpap for 11 years, using a Remstar machine. That machine makes a slight constant noise. My new machine is a bipap and the sound changes with every inhale and exhale. My supplier let me try the cpap version of the same machine and it does the same thing. He called it Bi-flex or C-flex and insists that all current machines contain that technology. It can be turned off but he says there is still a variation in sound with each inhale and exhale. This is disturbing to my spouse and if I can't get the machine quiet I will have to sleep in another room. Ear plugs have helped, but give her a headache. Anyone know how to solve this problem?

White noise from a fan or such will help. Does she realize that if you don't use the machine you will be susceptible to heart failure, diabetes, stroke and death? Banning you from the bedroom is rather counterproductive to a good relationship is it not? I thought marriage was a 50/50 give and take, we have to put up with some things now and then to make it work.
Good luck
Nan

Tell her if it bothers her so much that you are taking care of your health that SHE can go and sleep on the couch. It is her problem, not yours.

DH and I are also big fans (pun intended) of the white noise from a box fan. I also sleep better with plenty of air movement. This eliminates all noise from my CPAP, and almost all of HIS snoring (not from OSA), so I wear those very soft gooshy ear plugs (the best I found I are specially for women and are bright pink and yellow).

Cheers,
xena

The sound of the machine is MUCH quieter than the snoring it probably stops. My wife really appreciates the auto CPAP.
Edit: Using a CPAP is difficult even with a spouse's support. It is more difficult without a spouse's support. A spouse's support helps.

My 1st thought was suck it up buttercup.

I know not particularly constructive. But unless she sleeps in some sort of suspended animation chamber, there is always going to be some sort of environemtal noise. Has she tried different types of earplugs, white noise, ear phones with sleep music, going to bed first (so she is asleep when you hook up) If none of those suggestions work then I agree with the PP that she needs to go sleep on the couch.

Any time there is a change in environmental sounds during sleep, there is likely to be an adjustment phase. With your machine noise, she is adjusting to the absence of the cpap sound and the addition of the bi-level sound. You have the distraction of the mask and air to help you (are you adjusting too?) but she does not have those other sensations so all her attention is on the sounds. I don't know how much time has been given to adjusting to the new sounds - are we talking a few days or a few weeks? I agree with all the white noise suggestions. My guess is if she can tough it out that pretty soon the sounds of your bi-pap will become comfortably familiar. I once had an apartment by a railroad track. In the beginning I thought those train whistles jolting me out of my sleep would be the death of me. In a short time I didn't even hear them. When sleeping, the brain knows to stay on guard for anything out of the ordinary - it's a protection mechanism. Once the brain no longer interprets the sound as unfamiliar, it disregards it. If it is important to you and wife to sleep in the same bed, taking a break could prolong her adjustment. That said, her sleep is no less important than yours, and the fragility of her sleep and her ability or timing in adjusting is going to be uniquely hers, and she is not "wrong" on any level. The two of you will figure out what will work for your situation.

If it's midnight and a DME tells you it's dark outside, go check for yourself.

BiPAP (generic name bilevel) and CFLEX can both be turned off on both machines. However, if you've been prescribed a BiPAP machine, you presumably need BiPAP/bilevel.

You may be able to locate the machine in a drawer, on the floor, etc. where she can't hear it as much.

Be sure the filters in the back are clean.

I also partly agree with the "Suck it up, Buttercup." sentiment.

There are some distinct advantages to having a spouse with lousy hearing!

DH at the audiologists:
Audiologist:--Your hearing is pretty bad.
DH: When am I going to need a hearing aid.
Audiologist: Don't worry, your wife will tell you.

I third the suggestion for some white noise. A fan, pointed away from the sleepers, should work well.

I turned off cflex years ago largely because the constant shifting of the noise drove ME crazy. I couldn't adapt to that particular noise and I've happily slept near elevated trains, firehouses, and aspiring opera singers. There may be some slight change in noise level due to breathing even with it turned off but I can't detect it. I'd try that first no matter what the guy from the DME said. This does assume that you can breathe without that drop of pressure of course. Why did you switch to bipap from your old machine?

If you must continue using the machine in that mode than muffling it is worth a try. My impression was that the noise mostly came from the machine, not the mask but ask your wife. If it's the change in noise from the mask vents maybe a change in mask type would help.

I'm a bit surprised by all the "suck it up" comments. It almost suggests that inability to sleep is a medical emergency, worthy of high personal or insurance expenditures, but only if you have that magical diagnosis of apnea. For everyone else sleep is optional?

MidnightOwl wrote:I'm a bit surprised by all the "suck it up" comments. It almost suggests that inability to sleep is a medical emergency, worthy of high personal or insurance expenditures, but only if you have that magical diagnosis of apnea. For everyone else sleep is optional?

People sleep with traffic noise, noisy air conditioners, birds singing, next to commuter rail lines, etc. Buttercup should suck it up and she'll quickly get used to it, or SHE should move to the other room.

archangle wrote:

MidnightOwl wrote:I'm a bit surprised by all the "suck it up" comments. It almost suggests that inability to sleep is a medical emergency, worthy of high personal or insurance expenditures, but only if you have that magical diagnosis of apnea. For everyone else sleep is optional?

People sleep with traffic noise, noisy air conditioners, birds singing, next to commuter rail lines, etc. Buttercup should suck it up and she'll quickly get used to it, or SHE should move to the other room.

I am surprised by the suck it up comments also. As I have mentioned in previous threads, one of our biggest failings as a society is that we think if we can do something, everyone else should be able to.

By the way, archangle, I am very noise sensitive and I have always been that way. Since my hearing loss, it is even worse. It is not issue of willpower or sucking it up.

Of course, in this situation, the wife has to be an active participant in solving the problem since obviously, the OP can't be without the machine. But demonizing her for being noise sensitive is extremely unfair.

To the OP - Has your wife tried custom ear plugs? I found them extremely helpful.

49er

Here's a wild idea based on the white noise idea. Presumably both spouses are used to the whitish sound the old CPAP made. Would it be possible to use a recording of that sound?

49er wrote:By the way, archangle, I am very noise sensitive and I have always been that way. Since my hearing loss, it is even worse. It is not issue of willpower or sucking it up.

What do you think would happen if you ended up living somewhere with constant traffic noise, birds, noisy air conditioning, etc. and you couldn't eliminate the noise? Do you think you'd always be unable to sleep, or would you get used to it?

archangle wrote:

49er wrote:By the way, archangle, I am very noise sensitive and I have always been that way. Since my hearing loss, it is even worse. It is not issue of willpower or sucking it up.

What do you think would happen if you ended up living somewhere with constant traffic noise, birds, noisy air conditioning, etc. and you couldn't eliminate the noise? Do you think you'd always be unable to sleep, or would you get used to it?

Great question. I think it depends.

Right now, I think being in a sleep deprived state, I could sleep through many things. However, I will still turn off the air conditioner or raise the temperature because the noise drives me crazy when I am trying to get to sleep.

Before apnea was an issue - If I encountered noise, eventually I did get to sleep but the stress of trying to do because of the noise did not make for good rest. And I don't think I got used to it.

49er