Family member using the cpap less then half the night

I had my sleep study in April, and got my apap machine on April 30. My mom, who has had sleep apnea and a cpap machine for over 15 years, started using hers again. Good news! It became obvious over time that I was having a noticeable improvement in my energy level, sleep quality, and blood pressure. My mom has told me that she feels better when she uses her machine, but she stopped taking it on trips years ago. She went months without using it before starting up again. And even now, she only uses it for 3-4 hours a night. She sleeps 9-10 hours a night, takes naps, etc. I suspected she was not getting good treatment.

Last week, I had her use my machine for half of two nights so that she could use it and get some data, before I went to bed. The first night, it was set at her cpap level of 10. She had a low ahi, but one of her apneas lasted 62 seconds. She called my sleep doctor that day and has an appointment for July 6th. The next night, I set it for 10-13, and she did much better. Lower ahi, and most were centrals while she was awake. Nothing over 14 seconds.

I asked her why she never uses her machine the whole night, and she says it is because the mask fits fine earlier, she gets up to use the bathroom and let the dogs out, and then she has trouble getting the mask comfortable. I can relate to that, as my first couple weeks, I found myself awake and swearing at the mask many times. And I confess I did go to bed without the mask for an hour or two, and then put it on again later. So, I know what she is dealing with.

Here's my question. How do I encourage her to use it ALL night, EVERY night? I see great advice here to people who are trying. But she is not here, and not really trying. In her mind, she has been doing this for over 15 years, so she has tried. She doesn't see this as a dangerous problem. I suspect that she would feel better if she used it all night, and it would certainly be better for her health. I don't want to talk down to her or act like a know it all when I am still a newbie with all this. But I want to see her feel better. And I would like her to be around a long time.

She currently has an older machine, Remstar Plus with C-Flex, from 2004. She is using the same mask as me, Resmed Quattro FX. She sleeps in the living room, so I see her every night when I pass through to use the bathroom. I rarely hear any leak from her mask. She seems to have had fewer problems fitting it than me. I really think it is more of a habit. Use it the first part of the night and don't bother after the bathroom break.

I did suggest after the data with the 62 second apnea, that it is probably worse when the machine is off.

For those of you with reluctant family members, have you had any success in improving their therapy compliance? If so, what helped?

Maybe print out some excerpts from various posts stating what the negative impacts are of limited or no XPAP use. I woundn't be above scare tactics. Given that, It's hard to change someone's habits, especially if they don't have concrete info/evidence right in front of their eyes. (I almost wrote: "change ol' coots habits" - but then I realized I are one.)

I think what I am having a hard time with is the simple fact that SHE should have been nagging me as she has had her machine for over 15 years, and I have been snoring badly in hotel rooms with her for over 10 years. I realize she didn't have the big improvement that I did, or the positive experience with a good sleep lab and good sleep doctor. But she must have gotten some lectures on how important it was. And she did say recently that her diabetes doctor is the only one that nags at her and pushes her to use her machine. Until this past March, I just thought sleep apnea was sleep deprivation. I didn't realize it was causing so much damage. I had to learn about it from the news. Yet, I have been dealing with high blood pressure (in the 160s over 100s) since last September at least (diagnosed then, but almost a year since previous appointment). We live in the same house.

I'm not mad at her. I just believe that I need to do this in a way that doesn't sound like a child reprimanding her mother. I would like to educate and encourage her. I don't want to come across as a newbie know it all and then have her dismiss it because of that.

I need a way to convince her that using her machine for 3-4 hours is not much better than not using it all.

Unscented baby wipes.
My mask gets sweaty, also my face. I'm probably not alone.
If I wake up in the middle of the night, it needs a little freshening to get a good seal again.
Also stress to her you don't want her having a stroke; and that's precisely what she is inviting.
If you can, take her to visit someone who's had a stroke.
Scare her britches off!

Get her a hose quick disconnect so she doesn't have to take the mask off. She will re-connect the hose because it isn't comfortable without pressure

chunkyfrog wrote:Unscented baby wipes.
My mask gets sweaty, also my face. I'm probably not alone.
If I wake up in the middle of the night, it needs a little freshening to get a good seal again.
Also stress to her you don't want her having a stroke; and that's precisely what she is inviting.
If you can, take her to visit someone who's had a stroke.
Scare her britches off!

Thanks! do you use the baby wipes on just the face or both face and mask? Any favorite brand? I will try this myself as I do have a harder time getting a good seal after my own bathroom trips. In fact, if it works for me, I can brag about it (nicely, of course), and that will give her a nice incentive to try it without me being rude or preachy. I would just be passing along a great tip I learned.

I know she has known people who had strokes, so I don't know whether she considers that a possibility. For example, she does not have high blood pressure. I do, and we have the same primary doctor. I have been told many times that I am at a higher risk of stroke. Okay, not since I started treatment for sleep apnea. But my blood pressure is not in the 160s much anymore. Only after a really bad night. It is clearly improving, and my doctor is happy.

The doctor who seems most concerned about her sleep apnea is the diabetes doctor, and I don't know what warnings she gives. My mom has an appointment with her diabetes doctor a week from Thursday and my sleep doctor the next day. She asked me to come along to both appointments. I don't know if she wants me to go in with her, or just be available to talk about all the stuff I learned here.

If I do get to talk to the doctor, then I can mention that I am concerned as I have been warned about stroke and heart attack, and I want her around longer. Then hopefully, the doctor can take over and do the scare tactics. It would certainly sound better coming from them.

BlackSpinner wrote:Get her a hose quick disconnect so she doesn't have to take the mask off. She will re-connect the hose because it isn't comfortable without pressure

Years ago, she would wear the mask on bathroom trips. So, I suspect that she is waking up with a mask leak, like I do. Then goes to the bathroom and lets the dogs out because she is awake. I will ask her about it.

zoocrewphoto wrote:It would certainly sound better coming from them.

Agreed, someone outside the family probably will have more influence. Especially a doctor.

Does she drive? It's really hard to influence family members into changing their behavior. But maybe if you point out that she might hurt SOMEONE ELSE if she falls asleep at the wheel it will sink in?

Good luck.

jen4700 wrote:Does she drive? It's really hard to influence family members into changing their behavior. But maybe if you point out that she might hurt SOMEONE ELSE if she falls asleep at the wheel it will sink in?

Good luck.

She drives, but she is not falling asleep anywhere. Not even dozing off, unless she is at home, in her chair. So, there is no scare factor there. I go with her on long road trips, and she does all the driving as I have a phobia of driving. I have no problem trusting her to drive.

She functions well. And she assumes she is getting "enough" treatment. I suspect that she is not, and that she she would feel better if she did.