Update Continued

They used a good chin strap as a compromise and the nurses said they didn't observe any apneas, just pain arousals, who knows. Last night he allowed me to put his mask on at 10:30PM but he took it off at 1AM which woke me and I put on the chin strap. So that's where we are right now and I'm leaning towards leaving him alone and finding a way to make him as comfortable and event-free as possible while he sleeps and so I can get some much needed rest as I'm completely depleted and some of my blood work is messed up too. The final decision has to be ours and unless you're walking in our shoes right now it's hard to know what right or wrong. So again as I've done many times in the past, I ask for your prayers and good thoughts for my darling husband, he's such a good man who doesn't deserve to be suffering so much.

Dori, you are doing what's right for you and Mike. All we can do is offer our love and support....

Hi Dori,
Hang in there through this difficulty and do take care of yourself.
Hugs, prayers and good thoughts coming your way...
J

Oh Dori, so sad to hear things are so difficult for you and Mike right now. Such medical decisions are very personal, and I explicitly trust your instincts and that you will know which battles you should or should not fight. You are very insightful. Be good to yourself. We know you'll be good to Mike. I know you already feel this, but I want to say it anyway. You, DoriC, are an integral part of this community in a way not defined by Mike or his use of CPAP. Please continue to keep us informed how both you and Mike are doing.
Kathy

I am so sorry to hear about Mikes relapse. Everything seemed so positive after the HBOT. I cannot fully appreciate how exhausted you must be. Do you have some contacts through the social services at the hospital who can help you further with home health care? Blessings to you for being respectful of Mike's wishes. Hopefully he will resume treatment, even if it is just to give you some peace of mind.

DoriC wrote:The final decision has to be ours and unless you're walking in our shoes right now it's hard to know what right or wrong.

So often even the one wearing the shoes can't know for sure what is right and wrong. All you can do is assess the situation, make the best decision you can with the information available, and move on. At a time like this you cannot afford to spend the energy, time, and mental strength second guessing your decision. Whatever you decide to do, and do, you are doing right.

Hang in there, sweet pea! I'm pulling for you.

Dori,

I, for one, would never presume to second guess the decisions you and Mike make. All I'll say is trust in the Lord's guidance and in yourselves. Once again, I'll continue to pray for you both.

Joe

Hi Dorie. I am so sorry to hear about this most recent battle for you two. You are right, we can't be in your shoes and you and he need to discuss it calmly and make your decision. Whatever you decide, you can always change your minds too. Rest assured we are all praying for you and Mike.

Dori I am so sorry you and Mike are having such a hard time. You are an inspiration to this forum. God Bless.

I am sure you are getting useful input from docs and family. But ultimately, there are only two people on the planet I trust with the decision, and that is you and Mike. Our job is not to pressure. Our job is to support. And I hear a woman who is thinking clearly, lovingly, respectfully, wisely. And I support that. With all my heart.

I'm more awake now so I can comment:

When DH and I were heavy gamers into World of Warcracft (we hadn't been on the game very long), I don't remember what the conversation was with a fellow gamer. I believe I was telling him about a decision I was trying to make, he came back with an answer that I never forgot:

"Follow your heart"

When DH and I face tough decisions, I always remind him of those words. We make the best decisions we can for our spouses with the information we have at the moment. You'll come up the right thing to do for your husband.

((huggs))

Starlette

kteague wrote:Oh Dori, so sad to hear things are so difficult for you and Mike right now. Such medical decisions are very personal, and I explicitly trust your instincts and that you will know which battles you should or should not fight. You are very insightful. Be good to yourself. We know you'll be good to Mike. I know you already feel this, but I want to say it anyway. You, DoriC, are an integral part of this community in a way not defined by Mike or his use of CPAP. Please continue to keep us informed how both you and Mike are doing.
Kathy

Kathy, with all the urgent problems to be solved I had to smile when I read your post because one of the silly things that crossed my mind today was whether I could still stay here if we decide to stop cpap. Go figure. Thank you to SU and jnk.

And to all of you, everything you've said has been of such comfort to me. You've all been so understanding and have said some things that give me a better understanding. Knowing that you're all such staunch supporters of cpap therapy, it touched me deeply that you would instead let your hearts be your guides in your responses to me. That left me speechless. Some of my pain in making a decision either way is the guilt I'm feeling, do I torture him or me or both of us, and you've all seen through that and gave me much needed guidance and a place to start the process. His machine stays where it is on his night table and we have 2 important followup Dr appts tomorrow which will answer some of my questions. I hope Mike will be strong enough for me to get him to both of them. Again, my thanks to all for caring so much for such a difficult discussion.

I am keeping both you and Mike in my thoughts and prayers. I am confident your decision will be guided for the best for Mike.

jnk wrote:... there are only two people on the planet I trust with the decision, and that is you and Mike. Our job is not to pressure. Our job is to support. And I hear a woman who is thinking clearly, lovingly, respectfully, wisely. And I support that. With all my heart.

And my heart and mind as well.