Re: OT: Moving again - Updated - Now moved

BlackSpinner,

You are one special woman taking this on with such a positive attitude. Best wishes to you and your parents in this new chapter of your life

RobySue

I have arrived. Long day, up at 4 am, flights rough and the second one delayed. My head is still somewhere between here and there.

Everyone was happy I was here, even the blind dog. "Now things will get better" was what was in the air but not quite said. It made me feel really good.
I just have to slow people down a bit. Knocking my self out will not do anyone any good.

Now to wait to see if the boxes arrive - but not to soon I need a day or two to make space.

I would like to thank everyone for their positive comments and encouragements. It was good to read them.

I feel much better after 12 hours of sleep.

I am trying to evaluate my priorities over the next couple of days and weeks. There is a lot to be done and pros and cons to each step.
My biggest hurdle will be getting some semblance of order and space happening in the basement before a) my boxes arrive b) the bathroom renos start. The sequence my sister wants is not going to work and I have to change it without upsetting her to much. Her priorities -finish the inside of my closets- don't match mine - the inside doesn't matter and can be done afterwards shove the boxes in and out of the way.

Are you and your sister living at your parents'?

SleepingUgly wrote:Are you and your sister living at your parents'?

Yes. She moved in with them because of her own health issues about 20 years ago. She should not have devolved into the main caregiver but things change slowly for the worse over time and one doesn't notice until ready to collapse. This move is almost as much for her as for my parents.

The house had a basement apartment that was used partially for storage and as work shop. Half of it is renovated. The bathroom at one time had a large jacuzzi in it and a coffin sized shower. The jacuzzi died some years ago and was removed. There are some plumbing issues that will be fixed later this month and we will get a bathtub.

My very best wishes and good luck and happiness to you, 'Spinner!

You are an extraordinarily wise and caring person!

I look forward to you continuing to share your wisdom with us as you enter this new chapter in your own life, and in the life of your loved ones.

Best wishes,

Nate

Hi Blackspinner:

I wish you and I could meet halfway for either a cup of tea or couple of icy cold brews and just chat woman to woman.
As you know I'm not moving in with my parents, just helping them move closer to my husband and I. After 21+++++ years of living and gathering STUFF, they have LOTS to sort and decide on. Saturday afternoon.

Since Monday night, I've been at my parents' house getting them ready to move, what a task! I just got home mid-afternoon today. I am very, very proud of them in what the 3 of us accomplished this week. Very proud! It is not easy packing and sorting many years of your life and preparing to move. Hubbs made us breakfast this morning and helped out too today moving boxes into the garage in preparation for a second garage sale. We're all beat. Last night, I took them out to eat at a Thai restaurant for Denver Restaurant Week. We were too tired to really eat and enjoy the food. We got back to their house a little before 9pm and bee-lined it to our bedrooms to bed. In all my adulthood, I've never been one to go to my room at 9pm for a straight week. Outside of one night, I did this week.

Again, my Dad has end stage liver disease. I would not stop him from helping in his own VERY special way within reason of course.
Like I told Mom Monday night, "I'm not only helping you, but we're all creating special memories for one another."
Several times a day, I'd purposefully cause them to roll their eyes and shake their head or make them laugh from my stupid antics.
Hey, I'm all for a little humor in the midst of a tough situation.

I asked that they let me know Monday if they want me to return this week, or if they're good for a while. I think they appreciated that.

((Huggss)) to you Blackspinner

Starlette

I wish you and I could meet halfway for either a cup of tea or couple of icy cold brews and just chat woman to woman.

That would have been nice.
My father has gotten into the "let's clear out" mood and I have too control my sister from acting out "He just wants her dead" "No he wants to face the situation and move with it" sigh... She is so burnt out she can't see options or different view points anymore so one of my jobs is running interference.

I can understand the 9 pm bedtime. What you have been doing is not only physically draining but emotionally too.

I am tackling one kitchen cupboard a day - yesterday was many years of plastic containers and lids. However todays time change will cut things down a bit.

I can appreciate and respect your Dad's mindset.

I gave my Mom "the goal of day" before going to bed. We pretty much followed the plan.
Where she deviated (which really wasn't much), I had to bite my tongue and force myself to remember "who really is in charge" *I really didn't say that* But like I said Blackspinner, ALOT was accomplished in one week, I'm VERY proud of them.

I told her that if they didn't feel like resting and wait til we potentially got together Tuesday night, to start clearing out the unused clothing garments in their closets and giving those to DAV. Second, start sorting what we put in the garage yesterday and prepare for 2nd garage sale. Those two tasks are enough to keep them occupied for a minimum of three days. My guess is that they'll be resting till I get back.

Tuesday, I've been invited to join them and their friends for some fun and lunch afterwards. I'm a big believer in taking a break for some fun. Gives us all some rest time and re-energizes our mind and body.

Starlette

BlackSpinner wrote:I have arrived. "Now things will get better"
It made me feel really good.

BlackSpinner, you need to give yourself a big pat on the back
and a HUGH at'a BOY. You are cruisi'n.

It has been almost 15mths since we moved my parents into the
retirement community. I took over the operation of their lives then.
It was pretty traumatic for all of us, but we have all settled into a rhythm.
We visit at least once a week.
We bring them what few groceries/snacks that they want.
I keep the meds box filled. We have Senior Helpers that come
everyday to make sure my Mom takes her meds on time.
I take care of all their finances.
I maintain their house.....don't know what is going to happen to that yet.

It is very much like having a second job.
I give myself a pat on the back when it gets me down sometimes.
I'm proud of the commitment that I made to honor and care for them.

You do the same.
I'll see you on the road.

carbonman wrote:
BlackSpinner, you need to give yourself a big pat on the back
and a HUGH at'a BOY. You are cruisi'n.
...

It is very much like having a second job.
I give myself a pat on the back when it gets me down sometimes.
I'm proud of the commitment that I made to honor and care for them.

You do the same.
I'll see you on the road.

Yes thank you!

It is a job. When people asked me if I was going to get a job here -I am like I have one right now - 12 hours a day, 7 days a week....

Hopefully once the clean up and renos are finished I can restart my art work and do some teaching.

But right now I look maybe up to 2 weeks into the future.

However my asthma and stomach issues already seemed to settled down, and I am sleeping better. So in some ways this is a win / win situation.

Because people have asked.

I am now at my parents place since mid March.
Lots has happened. The renovations for the bathroom started on the 26th with great noise. I took the parents to a luxury condo suite for the week while they were jack hammering the concrete and (theoretically) pouring the new floor. The 'rents hated the condo - the carpet was to deep so the chairs didn't slide, the beds were to soft moan moan moan. This was a 1/2 million dollar condo that was rented out by the week with granite counter tops, marble floors and stainless steel appliances, two tv's, cable, wireless, washer/drier fully, equipped kitchen, decorator style furniture and completely wheel chair accessible. It was like something out of one of those "house Hunter" tv shows. But they hated it.
A half an hour before we moved to the suite my boxes finally arrived from Montreal.
When we got home only half of the work was done because the plumber never showed up so they couldn't finish. He finally showed up a week late and did what he needed to but by that time the guys who were going to pour the concrete had gone away for Easter and won't be back until wednesday so we are two weeks behind at the 2 week mark.....
I managed to get my clothes unpacked but half of my boxes are in the shed.

I have spent the last few days overhauling the kitchen. I threw out two big garbage bags of expired packaged good, "puddings", cookies and other unmentionable or unrecognizable stuff. All the canned goods are sorted now and we have enough beans, soups and vegetable to survive more then a few months as long as the can opener survives the "event". Everything is now also arranged to I can easily reach what I need to cook. I no longer have to stand on a chair reaching over the stove to get the herbs or pasta.
Oh and the pastries have been outlawed from the house over much protest from my sister. No, my mother doesn't need a big supply of pastries in case her sugar goes low. We have fruit and chocolate covered raisins for that.
I have been doing a lot of baking, making muffins and deserts for them that are much lower in sugars and strange ingredients. I have slowly been lowering the carbs in their meals but they are in their 80's and not interested in change or "healthy" eating. As far as they are concerned they are living on borrowed time and they are going to do it with good food of their choice. They are not complaining that there is more meat in their diet however.

The renovations are driving me nuts. Until they are done I can't start unpacking the rest of my stuff and do my art work or get my room arranged because everything is stuffed into my bedroom and the studio to be. And I can't get my dog and cat here until all the holes are closed either.

My parents are much happier though. My father has someone to talk to, mom is happy that I am here to look after my sister, when she remembers that is, she has already asked me twice when I am leaving this time. They are enjoying the food and the service and dad is happy he doesn't have to drive anymore.

BlackSpinner

I'm glad things are getting on track at your parent's home. You are wonderful lady.

I know how difficult is to deal with our elderly parents, you are patient and you work so hard for them, wow. I congratulate you for your effort and I wish you to be good over there .

Rosie

Makes me think, we all better treat our kids good, because they decide where you may spend your "golden years".
BlackSpinner you are to be admired for SURE!

Good morning Blackspinner.

((Huggs)) Last Thursday, I finished moving my parents to their new home. For me, "March Madness" has a much different meaning between caring for my husband in the hospital for a week and moving my parents. I told both of them this week I'm taking off to rest and recuperate. Dad will be home this Sunday which will be great. He's been in the hospital and nursing home/rehab since the beginning of March due to a cut finger helping with the move and ended up with a blood infection and a few other nursing home goodies *sarcasm*. I'm there with you Blackspinner, just in a different way.

Starlette