CPAP and Intimacy

I wonder if you would act the same if you had astma? If you had an attack and went for the nebulizer and mask would you then feel you had to try and explain yourself while gasping for air? Or what about the guy who takes home a beautifull women the likes he's never seen to find that when he got her into bed she had took her false leg off? Would he still make love to her? food for thought.

You are what you are and if the person is really interested in you then they maybe curious, but never repulsed.

Erinome wrote:Snuffle-nose wrote:
"My mate know I suffer from moderate to severe sleep apeona, I have been on the CPAP for years."

But this is exactly my problem -- I don't HAVE a mate -- I'm trying to get one. And CPAP machines aren't very attractive.

Maybe you have forgotten what it's like to be alone and searching for love, but I have to deal with it.

Hello yes it's awful not having anyone who understands you, been down that path and it's no fun......Maybe I did not clarify, properly that slowly may mate and I got used to the machine together, as he has woken me because of my snoring before treatment by picking me up and shaking me head backwards and forward gently and waking me up and telling me that I am snoring again and it sounds like buzz saw!!![ Pick up mattress and sleeps in next room!!!!]

When I was getting used to cpap, he'd watch over me and wake me every time my mask was taken off in my sleep or fell off whist I was half asleep. Now we both sleep nicely in the same room! Very nice that now he sleep comfortably and I can sleep properly for once.

I am in the same place you are. If I meet a guy, I hope he has enough substance to accept me and my cpap. If he doesn't, he isn't worth the bother.

Erinome wrote:

Newbie Woman wrote:I sounded preachy before, and I apologize.

I can't possibly understand the difficulties of introducing a partner to CPAP because I've been married since I was a kid.

Well them, please try to increase your empathy level. I HAVE NOT been married since I was a kid, as I was in college and then graduate school and then worked on a career for several years. So I'm coming from a very different place than you. If you can't understand that I'm not sure why you responded to my original query in the first place....

You single people need to figure this out. Come up with the perfect solution (which no doubt will include a heavy dose of confidence), and let me know what it is. I have an 8-year-old on CPAP and if dating in mid-adulthood with CPAP is a problem, I can't even think about how he's going to tell another teenager or college student about it.

We have a deadline here... We need to make CPAP seem less dorky, more accepted, and definitely not un-sexy before my kid starts dating (but not too sexy!!). What happened to our CPAP swimsuit calendar?!

I think that by the time one is ready to have a sleepover (as opposed to just sex where you send the other person home immediately afterward), one should be able to talk about cpap.

In my case, without cpap I snore like a bazooka... no one in the same bed with me would sleep a wink, so... the conversation would go something like, "This machine prevents me from snoring... and allows you to sleep."

I have been dating and I was worried about it at first. I quickly realized that this is a good test of whether this is somebody that really cares about me or is just superficial. I just look her in the eye and tell her, "I have some good news and some bad news... the good news is that I don't snore. The bad news is I have to sleep with a CPAP machine." If you own it and have courage, you earn points. I put on the mask and say, "Sexy? Isn't it?" It's become a great source of humor.

Erinome wrote:But this is exactly my problem -- I don't HAVE a mate -- I'm trying to get one. And CPAP machines aren't very attractive.

Maybe you have forgotten what it's like to be alone and searching for love, but I have to deal with it.

Snoring loudly is extremely unattractive.

Maybe I don't understand about having sex with someone who can't be permitted to see you as less than perfect. Why would you WANT to?

Sex, in my mind, is the ultimate intimacy. Wearing a CPAP mask in front of someone is definitely not.

My husband and I joked about my mask (the Comfortlite 2) as being "my blue Klingon forehead," and I would say, "Well, gotta go Kling-up!"

Sometimes, since I'm a night owl, and he isn't, he goes to bed first, and I follow. So he's asleep when I mask up. Ah, but in the morning! A kiss on my hand, I roll over and turn the machine off, shed the mask, and....

SleepingUgly wrote: What happened to our CPAP swimsuit calendar?!

That's what I was wondering. Where are your photos you promised to submit to the group?

Jaylee wrote:Look on the brightside, if you scare someone off because of a CPap machine, they are just sparing you wasted time with someone who is immature. I think that once you reach a certain age, people can be adults and handle something like wearing a mask to bed. It really isn't a big deal between grown ups. When I told my boyfriend about my BiPap machine he just asked if it was portable.

Good luck. Do not let CPap stop you from dating.

Good for you & him.

My girlfriend took it very well. One morning we woke up and she said "honey, I used to have this machine called a CPAP. I used it before I had my surgery. I think you might need on too. You should go see a sleep doctor". That day and the day we met changed my life forever!

chunkyfrog wrote:Dear, I'm going to wear this now, as it would be kind of awkward for you to wake up next to a corpse.

Gazhacks wrote:I wonder if you would act the same if you had astma? If you had an attack and went for the nebulizer and mask would you then feel you had to try and explain yourself while gasping for air? Or what about the guy who takes home a beautifull women the likes he's never seen to find that when he got her into bed she had took her false leg off? Would he still make love to her? food for thought.

You are what you are and if the person is really interested in you then they maybe curious, but never repulsed.

Totally true. I would add that many times, attraction is directly related to confidence. Not cockiness, but confidence. If you are sure about yourself and you are sure about how someone should truly react to your CPAP, they should get the clue that it doesn't matter that it's present in the relationship and move right on. Just as they shouldn't care that you use an inhaler for asthma or any other ailment.

The greatest thing they could do is be curious and learn from you. I have never dated anyone with asthma before, but I can guarantee you that if I did, I wouldn't look down on her and instead would ask her about it and would be interested to know if I should be aware of any certain signs, emergency procedures, and be cognizant that if we make a spur of the moment decision to head to my place, I ask if she had her inhaler just in case. To me, that's just a sign of someone who really cares.