OT: 2x4's or how I spent my "vacation"

Well I am in Edmonton right now an I have spent the last 2 days learning how to care for my mother.
Learning how to lift her in and out of a wheel chair.
Learning how to bring her to the toilet
Learning how to dress her and undress her
Learning how and when and what re her medications (I haven't gotten to the blood testing and insulin yet)

Mom has deteriorated amazingly since I saw her a year and a half ago.

And this is only the medical care. Then there is the house work, cooking, cleaning and the visits to doctors, the 2 hours twice a week when the Respite care worker comes so you can go shopping for all the household needs and medications

Stroke, heart condition diabetes - all those kinds of things OSA can bring you (hers was not caused by OSA)

Then I look at my sister and how exhausted she is, how any kind of word my dad says is just too much, how she has lost her sense of humour and hope.


Ignore your OSA and this is what your loved ones will experience when you have a stroke. Your loved ones, remember - those you care about? You won't care, I gave mom a 3D card for mothers day - on it a frog sticks out its tongue to catch the dragon flies - she is happily moving the tab to flick the tongue in and out.

Happy Mothers day

Happy Mothers Day to you too! Hope things go well over the next few weeks, it will be exhausting, but rewarding to kn ow you have done your best to help your Mom. Mine doesn't always know which one of us is there, but at least WE know we are there and doing what she needs.
Cheers
Nan

One of life's unpleasant surprises: just when you think you've put most of life's stresses behind you, you're confronted with aging parents. I'm speaking from experience.

It's hard to keep in mind that you and your sister must take care of yourselves first or you won't have anything left. If mom needs to get by with less than ideal care in order for the caregivers to keep going, it's a good bargain. You don't owe your parents your whole life, JMO.

Get enough rest/sleep. Try to do enough that you won't have regrets later. I was only partly successful at that. Don't decrease the time you spend with mates, friends and other loved ones.

Two hours' respite obviously isn't enough. If you can, get someone to do housework, even as little as a half-day weekly, preferably two half-days.

Black Spinner, I have no words to offer but hope you know we all care! Please be sure to take care of yourself.

Spinner,

What a task you have before you; much the same as I had when my father was dying. If it's OK with you, I'd like to pray for you and your family.

Joe

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

I am trying to "persuade" my sister to stay in bed this week as much as possible to recover from the rough winter where she had to attend mother every 2 hours every night. Then she hurt her self lifting mom.
I will do fine - it is for probably 6 weeks - I know there is an end and it won't involve moms death.
It just hurts emotionally. They are all so fragile now.

I was really concerned with the physical aspects of lifting mom but she weighs so little, also I realized that my shiatsu training had already taught me how to use my body this way. The only thing I can't handle is the shots.

I'll pray for strength and patience for you. I know that's a hard situation which needs lots of energy to handle. Happy mother's day.

It does have a sort of positive side - We went shopping yesterday and now the fridge is full of pastries from "Dutch and Delicious" Real Dutch pastries with real cream and apples and made with lots of real butter and almond paste. And cookies and breads and candies and cheeses and cold cuts...... Tomorrow when the last of the jet lag is gone I will have to start running.

BlackSpinner, I see you.
I'll take the 2X4, as I respond much faster w/that.
You are an inspiration to me.
I'm watching and listening.....learning, from you.

Since we moved my parents to the retirement community,
I spend more and more of my time, taking care of their needs.
I never had kids, until now and it is quite a learning experience.
It's very difficult to watch my fathers mobility disappear and
my mothers mind disappear.

I don't ignore my OSA.
I do make time for myself.
You do the same.
Thanks!

Sending you blessings!

You are a great daughter BlackSpinner!

Prayers and healing comfort for ALL of you, Spinner....


Seeing a different stage and version of my parents' aging.... with multiple 3 week "visits" that involve chores more than sightseeing, although laughter still at this point.

J

Here's a great big (moist) hug for you. . .
--and I promise not to eat any of your pretty dragonflies.

While I was a caretaker for my husband back in 1996 with 3 herniated discs, it was blackest time of our marriage.
One thing I learned from then and i pass it on to you is to be sure and not neglect yourself. Take time out to take care of you.
You also need to be rejuvenated in spirit, soul and body in order to be helpful to someone else. I learned that lesson by experience.

Starlette

Thank you all for your concerns
I like to knit and there is a knitting group that meets on tuesday nights that I will go to as an escape.

On the humorous side, my mother can no longer read so she listens to books on cds. Her favourites are vampire romances/adventure - it is really hard to knit while hearing these erotic/soft porn vampire scenes.