Have you felt a rebirth since cpap?

Love the posts I have read so far.....

An awakening? Yes, I can say that at this point. I have been on cpap for just over a year. I have probably had OSA most of my adult life (I'm 38 now), but it had worsened terribly in the last 6 years prior to treatment (geesh, was I in denial or what?) It was gradual, but after I figured out the best mask for me and kept my determination to feel human again, I am nearly 100% back to my normal self. Its like a double edged sword for me, not unlike others who have posted. I dread having to put on that mask every night......actually its really resentment. I would love to just lay down somewhere and snooze without need that machine, but the trade off is worth its weight in gold. I would never have been able to pull off going to college and working full time without it.

As I approach the tender age of 60.....
these words and actions still ring true today.....w/everyday...w/every bike ride.
......yea...it works.

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=43582&p=386728&hilit

After reading all these rebirth stories, I've even more discouraged and depressed about using a cpap. And yes I am one of the "trolls" mentioned who is going to make a negative comment - I'm not finding the cpap to be the panacea that it is touted to be. How can sleep be restful and refreshing when hooked up to a noisy machine (Respironics Sleep-Easy with C flex) that sucks air out of my lungs, a mask that feels like it is breaking my nose at the area between my eyes?

I'm waking up with excruciating pain at the bridge of my nose, discouraged and depressed. I promised my husband I would give this my best shot and 110% effort. He has OSA also and is one of the lucky ones who used the machine once and found Nirvana. He is doing an awesome job of being supportive and trying to understand where I'm coming from in trying to use this thing.

The medical supply company and the doctor all have the attitude of "Shut up and stop whining". "Suck it up and use the machine, you'll feel wonderful." NOT helpful.

And to head off those who will say I'm whining and not helping myself here's what I've done to date:

I'm on my second mask (Respironics Full Life full face mask) since getting the machine a couple weeks ago. I have adjusted the straps, readjusted, adjusted again to try to relieve the pressure on my nose. The first mask, a Resmed Mirage Quattro, was apparently invented & endorsed by the Marquis De Sade - it was horribly uncomfortable.

I've Googled extensively and found a company local to me (in Phoenix) that carries silicone gel pad to go under the mask in the areas where I have the most pain, and carry a pillow (Psyche) developed by a cpap user, which uses Tempurpedic foam and has nifty little straps at the back to thread the hose through, and is supposed to keep the mask from gouging/slipping for side sleepers. I will be at their door when they open on Monday to get these 2 items (at my own expense).

I hope those 2 purchases will make things better - and I'm going collage pretty pictures on the outside of the machine itself to cover up the ugly gray plastic - and I'm trying to have a good attitude - but right at this moment - this whole cpap thing SUCKS.

Irishdeserttose wrote:After reading all these rebirth stories, I've even more discouraged and depressed about using a cpap. And yes I am one of the "trolls" mentioned who is going to make a negative comment - I'm not finding the cpap to be the panacea that it is touted to be. How can sleep be restful and refreshing when hooked up to a noisy machine (Respironics Sleep-Easy with C flex) that sucks air out of my lungs, a mask that feels like it is breaking my nose at the area between my eyes?

I'm waking up with excruciating pain at the bridge of my nose, discouraged and depressed. I promised my husband I would give this my best shot and 110% effort. He has OSA also and is one of the lucky ones who used the machine once and found Nirvana. He is doing an awesome job of being supportive and trying to understand where I'm coming from in trying to use this thing.

The medical supply company and the doctor all have the attitude of "Shut up and stop whining". "Suck it up and use the machine, you'll feel wonderful." NOT helpful.

And to head off those who will say I'm whining and not helping myself here's what I've done to date:

I'm on my second mask (Respironics Full Life full face mask) since getting the machine a couple weeks ago. I have adjusted the straps, readjusted, adjusted again to try to relieve the pressure on my nose. The first mask, a Resmed Mirage Quattro, was apparently invented & endorsed by the Marquis De Sade - it was horribly uncomfortable.

I've Googled extensively and found a company local to me (in Phoenix) that carries silicone gel pad to go under the mask in the areas where I have the most pain, and carry a pillow (Psyche) developed by a cpap user, which uses Tempurpedic foam and has nifty little straps at the back to thread the hose through, and is supposed to keep the mask from gouging/slipping for side sleepers. I will be at their door when they open on Monday to get these 2 items (at my own expense).

I hope those 2 purchases will make things better - and I'm going collage pretty pictures on the outside of the machine itself to cover up the ugly gray plastic - and I'm trying to have a good attitude - but right at this moment - this whole cpap thing SUCKS.

Welcome to the forums, Irishdeserttose! You have definitely come to the right place. I totally hear you on the discouraged and depressed side of things! I'd like to encourage you to fill out your profile (up on the top of the page--User Control Panel) and include your machine/mask information, in words. Then I'd LOVE to see you start a thread on your discouragement. There are MANY of us here who struggle to adapt to this new way of life! I don't want to hijack this thread, so I think it would be great if you stared another one. If, due to sleep deprivation, that sounds like just too much work, just copy and paste this one into it's own thread. I can nearly guarantee that you will get some helpful support, both in the "how to's", and just in the emotional adjustment that this can take. I know for sure there are some of us who have been struggling for more than 4-5 months to make this work. But we are determined to. And we'd love to help you!

Welcome Irishdeserttose,
I agree with the previous post. List your machine and mask and you will find all kinds of help. I know this is a big adjustment. I've had plenty of experience with mask issues in the first six months of this therapy and I was very frustrated as well. Initially, I was very depressed about the diagnosis of OSA and I think that impeded my progress to some degree. Your feelings are perfectly normal, but I believe you can get to the point of having success with this therapy. Just hang in there....there is bound to be a happy medium.

yes... I too had a rebirth, a birth that took three months, and is still going on in my ninth month of APAP use.
In the first month there were three days of mental clarity. The contrast really shocked me. I didn't know I had gotten that foggy brained. I knew the emotional hell I was in: Rage, confusion, and short-term memory loss... thought I had early onset Alzheimer's or some kind of dementia. Was afraid I would get fired for making one more mistake at work. Try living in a near constant state of high stress and anxiety. With high blood pressure and an increasing number of sleepless nights, I now understand how/why people commit suicide.

I have my husband to thank for getting me used to the idea of wearing straps and a hose to bed. He began therapy in Jan. '09. At first I hated and resented his machine and headgear. I felt cut off from him in bed...a place where (pre-OSA diagnosis) we talked quietly and intimately before sleep took us. Then in March '10 I was diagnosed.

I'm one of those people that physically adjust well and quickly to something like this. After three months of tweaking the Swift FX I tried my husbands Opus 360 and it works fine. With a leak rate below 6L/min most nights and an AHI< 1 most nights I sleep in peaceful oblivion. My energy level is slowly returning. Now I can look at those boxes full of stuff in our bedroom and, instead of experiencing dread and defeat, I feel up to the task of getting rid of them.

Yes...Xpap therapy has given me a rebirth. I don't want to think of where I would be now without it.
Wishing you restful and healing sleep.
Cindy

I am having bad luck but on the good days I know its worth it. Its just about getting the right mask and routine down. Last night my AHI was 25 and my nose hurt after 3 hours when I thought I finally had this mask figured out. But I have other masks on the way. If you just keep at it you will get it figured out and it will be worth it. I know this and I am not even there yet.

Dear All,

To say that I am overwhelmed and so grateful to all of you who have shared your stories is an understatement. Again, this community comes through as being so helpful and so generous. For tired people who are still trying to find energy to function in so many cases, it is a real gift to take time to write.

My first OSA article could only be under 700 words, and, as I had to take the lead from the leading researcher I was speaking with, the article took a different turn. It's with an editor now, and I should have some feedback on Monday.
Maybe Pyschology Today will take it,'maybe not.

To all of you who have written that the therapy is not working yet, I wanted to say that the key advice from Dr. Bardwell is to keep going. eventually, you WILL see changes.

0ne of the things I read somewhere ( wish I knew where -- probably here) is that in the world of OSa, comfort is not a luxury it is an absolute necessity. I am finally on my second mask, the new Quattro FX, and my nose pressure sore (and I
mean open sore) is healing. I love the new mask's comparative lightness personally.

I want to say this: I think it's time all of these stories should be honored, collected and shared -- from people who are struggling and to people who are soaring. This illness MUST receive more attention so others, like us, do not waste another day, week or year of their lives in a haze of confusion, pain and anxiety.

So now I am thinking of a book, and although I have a lot of work to do, and still much healing to be accomplished before I can take that on, I will continue to write and submit articles. This illness needs to come out of the closet.

I hope you will all keep writing in answer to this thread. I am struggling very hard right now to get more mobile. When my OSA was discovered, I had been on prednisone for many months, and now weigh so much movement is difficult. But I have no excuses now, and I don't want any. I am almost 60, and as they say in The Shawshank Redemption (one of my favorite movies), "Get busy living or get busy dying. That's the truth."

Tomorrow, when I am trying to get through the day and my body complains, I will think of what I have gained and a little
less about what I have to lose. That'll help me find my way back to a life. I have all of you to thank for that.

THANK.YOU.

Namaste,
moonBear

It was just this afternoon that I realized, after almost 6 weeks of CPAP, I am TOTALLY off coffee and no longer a danger to myself or society!*










*I am no longer falling asleep behind the wheel when I drive to w*rk in afternoon rush hour traffic... I count my blessings that in the 20 years that I've been a driver (and I suspect suffering from undiagnosed OSA - I was famous for falling asleep in class during high school and at university) I haven't hit anyone or anything and have ALWAYS arrived to my destination in one piece.

It takes a different amount of time for everyone once they get acclimated to cpap. If you have a lot of sleep debt, it can take a considerable amount of time. I'm certain that I had OSA most of my adult life so I had a lot of time to beat myself up not getting it treated.

Can't says I have. 24 days of committed use in and this morning I feel like I slept about eight minutes. (Not literally--I slept through.) I now wake up with headaches--I've never experienced that before. Strangely, the therapy's been less effective than my homebrew solution (sleeping on the couch at a thirty degree angle).

Still, one soldiers on.