Ideas for Mainstreaming CPAP

Keeping up on the latest technical news I realized that it is now cheaper to buy a home computer than it is to buy a CPAP. This is completely understandable given the small population currently using CPAPs. The solution is simple we need to create a higher demand for the equipment and the increase volumes should drive the prices down. So I have come up with a few suggestions to help make CPAP an item every household will demand.

Make CPAPs Illegal – Sure requiring prescriptions and making CPAP machines restricted equipment is step in the right direction. However, it hasn’t sparked the same level of abuse as seen with restricted substances. If you go to any major metropolitan are you won’t find guys on the street corners trying to sell you some “really good air man”. So we need to step up misuse by banning it all together. Do for CPAP what prohibition did for alcohol. I can see it now, Sleep-Easies springing up in dark alleys. Guys sliding the little peepholes open and asking for the password. A quick response of “AHI ain’t tuna” and you are in. On college campuses around the country kids would start having “CPAP-enings”

New Product Names – While CPAP is a great acronym, for marketing purposes it really blows. It not only isn’t sexy but gives absolutely no clue as to its purpose. If we changed the name to “Spouse Silencer”, we could tap into a new market for people that don’t even have Apnea. “Bed Partner Inflator”, with that much air being pumped into a person something must be enlarging. Do a study and find that it makes various appendages one silly millimeter longer and sales will sky rocket.

Movie Placement – I don’t know if we can ever get this into major Hollywood productions again, Darth Vader kind of killed that avenue. So why not see if we can get CPAP into pornos? With the right kind of excitement and inappropriate application, married couples will be pushing their partners to get diagnosed. CPAPs will start showing up in adult bookstores and on restricted websites everywhere. Soon moms across America will be finding little Johnny has a puffer hidden under his bed.

More Attachments – Masks and hoses sure are fun but limited in their appeal. If there is one thing we all love in this technical age its gadgets. The base product is one thing but the real profit is in accessories. Something as simple as a “Bed Crumb Blower Nozzle” would surely help spike some sells. Where are the NASCAR CPAP cozies? Surely with all that air power someone can design a bedside blender. Not to mention novelty products like musical masks, (wait, we already have those).

Instead of just suggestions for mask and head gear improvements I think we should be inundating the CPAP manufacturers with our marketing tips. It is clear that they haven’t been targeting their campaigns where they can be most effective. I know having a CPAP makes us special, but if we all do our part soon CPAPs will be priced lower than the latest game system.

This is great! Love it!

Design a line-up of low-pressure power tools and every guy in america will want one.

mikemoran wrote:Make CPAPs Illegal

I was thinking, go the other way, give them away FREE in Cracker-Jacks or breakfast cereal. How much could these really cost anyway, mass-produced? maybe ten cents. I opened the hood on my new state-of-the-art automatic adjustable CPAP, expecting to reverse-engineer it and.... HOLY COW MAN! There was just a squirrel in there running in a wheel turning a cheap fan. Nothing more.

I'm sure you could make one using ordinary household products.

I like the making it illegal part, but we could also find a way to make Spouse Silencers a powerful new element in the ongoing the culture wars. Scientists in Judea have uncovered ancient texts dictating "thou shalt not forbid thy beloved from expressing the holy snores nor engage in apnea, verily".

Radio talk show hosts can scream until they're blue (at which point they might need some kind of treatment, but I digress). Congresspersons can expound on the volumes of mail they're receiving from their districts about why this ancient text is or isn't being taught in public schools.

A new federal agency will be created to study the truth of the ancient texts, and in the meantime, Oliver Stone (remember him?) will produce a new movie starring someone attractive but not terribly talented about how the alleged text was in fact planted in the desert after the end of the first Gulf War (that was its real purpose, in fact, to distract everyone....it's part of an old project dating back decades), and all of today's controversies are specifically designed to show us that sleep apnea doesn't in fact exist. It's something completely created by the DME industry to generate whole new fields of profitability.

Ric wrote:
I'm sure you could make one using ordinary household products.

I think you've hit on something here. Aren't these just glorified air compressors anyway? I think I've got one in the trunk of my car to fix flats. Couldn't have been more than $25. I think I'll hook the hose up and see what happens. Anyone know how to convert cm/H2O to PSI?

xzombie wrote:

Ric wrote:
I'm sure you could make one using ordinary household products.

I think you've hit on something here. Aren't these just glorified air compressors anyway? I think I've got one in the trunk of my car to fix flats. Couldn't have been more than $25. I think I'll hook the hose up and see what happens. Anyone know how to convert cm/H2O to PSI?

You might have something there. Here, this might help.

http://www.pressureswitch.com/reference ... sions.html

Umm 1PSI = 70cmH20 so I think my tire compressor uses about 30 PSI to fill the tires so that would put me at about 2100cmH20!! Sounds like I'll blow my head off!! Great idea!

xzombie wrote:Anyone know how to convert cm/H2O to PSI?

YES!

I'd suggest convert it to ZEPTOBAR, then work it back to PSI.
Little more trouble, but SOOOOOOOOO much more interesting:

viewtopic.php?t=5792&highlight=

or you could cheat and go here:

http://www.onlineconversion.com/

Equipt it with USB Ports and a 19" LCD screen.