Wild ride...

Hi,

Well, I have had mornings of beauty and euphoria and days where it is all gone, and I am so tired, I cannot get out of bed.

It is confusing and quite the ride. However, I know from this forum that time and sleep will continue to bring in the tranquilityy and strength. For now, I can do one thing a day. If I do two, I pay. I am like a feather floating on water. I can float along so long as I do not get evn slightly wet. Then, I sink.

My numbers could not be better. This is just the process I guess. Last night, I got almost ten hours of sleep, but I am still suffering from overdoing two days ago.

It's the very beginning of recovery, and I find it hard not to feel scared that the sleep is some kind present that will be taken from me. They say that it takes at least three weeks to make a habit. I am on night ten.
I am getting really hooked in to my mask Zest, and while the nose pad from cpap didn't work to prevent nose bruising, pad-a-cheek helped (I think --I'll know for sure when the bruise really goes away).

Thought my flu was gone, but I think that is still affecting me. Sigh. Tonight, we were going out, and I had to cancel because I was too exhausted. It feels far too familiar.

Because of this site, I know this will continue to improve, but it feels hard tonight.

Thanks for letting me vent, my friends.

Bear Hugs,
MoonBear

Thanks for letting me vent, my friends.

any thime, moonbear

Yes, it is a wild ride. When I 1st started I kept a journal....now, 14 months later, I can hardly remember the struggles, until I read the journal.

It's been since august for me and still adjusting. What I think I've noticed is that my baseline keeps changing. No longer does minimal sleeping cut it. I have become addicted to oxygen under pressure and if I don't get my current allotted amount, I lack the energy I know I can attain. I hope you reach another mountaintop soon.

MoonBear wrote:Hi,

Well, I have had mornings of beauty and euphoria and days where it is all gone, and I am so tired, I cannot get out of bed.

It is confusing and quite the ride. However, I know from this forum that time and sleep will continue to bring in the tranquilityy and strength. For now, I can do one thing a day. If I do two, I pay. I am like a feather floating on water. I can float along so long as I do not get evn slightly wet. Then, I sink.

My numbers could not be better. This is just the process I guess. Last night, I got almost ten hours of sleep, but I am still suffering from overdoing two days ago.

Bear Hugs,
MoonBear

Just remember how long it took to get into this bad shape, probably years of low O2 damage.
It will take months to rebuild that damage - but it will happen.
First is the feeling that you got enough sleep and can think again, then you rebuild the O2 damage.

Kind of like breaking your leg. When they put the cast on you can hobble around but you are not healed. It takes about 6 weeks before the break resets, then the cast comes off and then you get phsio to rebuild the muscles.... Just think of yourself as having just put that cast on.

The fact that you were able to "over do it" and now you can vent your frustration just makes the point.

MoonBear, it IS a wild ride, but hang on--it's worth it!

It is indeed a challenge. Believe that you can do it--as so many others have before you.
Life is so much better. You deserve it.