Dating: do you bring your CPAP around?

If you're dating somebody new, and there's a possibility you might sleep over at their place, do you bring your machine with you everywhere? It seems impractical. And on the other side it seems like a bummer to have to go all the way home late at night after a good time together at their house, just because I need my CPAP. Sleeping without a CPAP doesn't seem like a good idea too.

Whether for good or not, this has not been an issue in my life

Not sure how I'd handle that, it for sure is a love me, love my machine sort of deal for me 'cause I ain't sleeping without it! If it reached that point, I'd discuss it beforehand...this therapy would not be a good surprise to spring on a potential bedmate

I'm not really worried about what they'd think of me or how they'd judge me. I can handle any social situation.

It's more the practical difficulty of either bringing a big machine with me, or sleeping without it, or going back home. I guess it means I can only have dates over at my place and not go to their place.

You can entertain the thought of getting an inexpensive travel machine, and keep it handy and ready to go by the door,

just in case... you can just grab it and leave..

that way you dont have to pack everything up, thats such a pain..

That's a tough one that I am sort of glad I missed out on. I'm too vain and would have preferred to suffocate all night. Before I was married OSA was not a problem. If I was young now and sleeping around - yes, I would prefer to suffer. Men have ego's too!

I dunno, in this youth-oriented California culture I live in - I would not be marketable at my age anyway - not like I was in the wild days of the 60's and 70's. Then again, you generally didn't know the name of who you were sleeping with - maybe first name if you were lucky.

If you are being picked up and you bring your machine, you are broadcasting your intentions but you can always come back and sleep where your machine is. If it is too far to come back then your intentions are alrady being assumed. If you drive, you can either have a spare or bring your regular machine.

After the first part of my second sleep study, I realized how lousy it is to drive back in the morning without having used your machine and it's not real safe.

I was single (8 years ago) when I discovered my Apnea but I was in a relationship (and still am) and she preferred the machine to the snoring, which was pretty loud. Now it's like white noise to her. My friend, who will be a bachelor forever, sleeps around a lot and he has an extra machine in his car. He goes out with very good looking fit women 35 years younger than him (two of them are personal trainers) as well as women just a little younger and none of them seem to mind. Hey, if you are fun to be with and good in bed, your partner would rather have you ready to go the next day than see you drooping along.

There are so many more factors that affect how sexy and sensual you are or how fit you are that using a machine is almost invisible.

Alan

You might consider a dental device...they do not do the job as well as a CPAP, but in a pinch, it's better than going without.

If you have a car and you're driving, you could stick it in the trunk. Course when you bring it out, it would be clear you at least thought sleeping over was a possibility, but you can handle that. If you're not driving, and you've never slept over before, I would not carry your CPAP in your CPAP bag all night. I would wait until it was clear there was going to be a sleep over, and then say you can't sleep over, but you'd love to next time, when you've planned ahead and brought your CPAP.

Why would CPAP even be an issue? Just talk about it early in the discussion. (ask if there's nightstand space for it)
Diabetics take their gear with them. And how about folks with ostomies?
Everybody deserves a healthy and normal life.
If someone objects or freaks out--they need to be educated.

chunkyfrog wrote:Why would CPAP even be an issue? Just talk about it early in the discussion. (ask if there's nightstand space for it)
Diabetics take their gear with them. And how about folks with ostomies?
Everybody deserves a healthy and normal life.
If someone objects or freaks out--they need to be educated.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's the presumptive nature of bringing the CPAP that is the issue, not the bringing of the CPAP.

Knabino wrote:If you're dating somebody new, and there's a possibility you might sleep over at their place, do you bring your machine with you everywhere? It seems impractical. And on the other side it seems like a bummer to have to go all the way home late at night after a good time together at their house, just because I need my CPAP. Sleeping without a CPAP doesn't seem like a good idea too.

Can you bring them home with you? Then you have all the comforts of home as well and a bed warmer. And you will probably not get fed cold pizza for breakfast.

sleepingugly:
Ah, yes, I agree the CPAP discussion should definitely precede that of the 'pillowing'.
If it is treated as informative and matter-of-fact, it needn't be viewed as a 'come-on'.
Since it is a factor of our health, like diabetes, or a big scar, it is nice to give a heads-up, as it were.
If things are moving a bit quickly, and one did not broach the subject before, one might reply to an invitation
as follows,"I'd be delighted to see your place, Might this be a late night? I would need to bring my things."

Well, if I can remember that far back ....................................................................... on the first "overnight" nobody got much "sleep" anyway.

Let's face it, it's only a problem for a one night stand. If you want to have sex and the time for sleep is a problem, have it where the machine is, which is what someone said above. You could lose a little spontaneity but seriously, if one night or one moment is a problem, the relationship is doomed anyway. Plus, you can always go home after sex, if the machine is not in your and if you have sex at the driver's place, just ask to be taken home and if there is a next time you will be ready. I think the problem centers around "the moment" and not having to be driven home. However, if you are like my friend Jim (the name changed to protect the real person) he's often not interested in a second date so for him, having the machine available all the time is important.

Alan

I would check out a used device to carry in the trunk. Most larger Cpap suppliers will at times have used equipment, mostly Medicare and insurance clients that just cannot handle a Cpap machine and return it only after a few uses. I bought an older used machine in the past for less than a hundred bucks and recently purchased an almost new Resmed S8 as a spare for $200. Incidentally, I could be mistaken, but it seems to me that most ladies choosing to share the sleeping platform would much rather hear the quiet whisper of the Cpap machine compared with the extremely romantic sputtering, snorting, snoring and percolating that will undoubtedly occur without the machine. I am not saying any of the ladies on this forum would ever be in this position, However, considering the above, which scenario would you support?