OT: Panic/Phobia Support

BlackSpinner wrote:Every bodies mind is different so what works for one person will not work for another and vice versa. Kind of like trying to run software for a Mac on a PC - it doesn't make the software no good, just not good for the PC.
You have to experiment with different techniques until you find the one that works with you.

I think that is excellent advice. Actually, thank you for mentioning the eye movement topic earlier. I think I have read something about that before; it may be something I should look into.

Jeanette

newhosehead wrote:

Uncle_Bob wrote:

BlackSpinner wrote:as well as some therapy to do with eyes.

EMDR Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_moveme ... processing

Been there, done that

Does "been there, done that" mean you have and it works, you have and it didn't work or you just think it's really funny???

I've had a few sessions. It was supposed to reveal a disturbing unresolved life experience that was the root cause of my anxiety according to the doctor. It didn't work out for me.

Hi Madalot! Welcome to my new online support group for "People who don't like driving on bridges or high twisty two lane mountain roads, or any dark poorly lit two lane country highway." I'm the President, because I was here first.

I'm with you sister. I'm so bad, I don't even like being a PASSENGER in those situations. My poor BF had to hold my hand while driving over the bridge in Newport, OR during a fierce rain/wind storm in January. He's a good boy. He holds my hand now, and pets me and says soothing things.

Me, I grab the door handle and swear like a sailor the whole way.

Hugs,
Barbara

Madalot wrote:Hi Jeanette --

While I don't have any suggestions for online support for this, I can relate. I have a couple of phobias, one of which is too stupid and embarassing to share! But the bridge thing -- I get that too.

A few years ago, my family was going on vacation and I was driving. I had no idea that the route we were taking was going to take us on a HUGE and extremely HIGH bridge. I saw it before we got to it, but there was no way to stop and switch drivers so I could ride and just close my eyes. What you describe -- the panic. OMG -- it set in like you would not believe. It was one of the most horrible experiences I've had recently.

Because I was driving, I had to deal with it. I gripped the steering wheel tightly (I had to pry my fingers off of it when it was over) and focused on looking at the road ahead of me. I never looked up or over the side of the bridge. I concentrated on looking straight ahead and down and just kept forcing myself to keep driving and remain calm (and breathe -- got to remember to breathe).

On the return trip, I made darn sure that my husband was driving for that portion!!

I too have suffered from a bridge phobia for many years! I have had to drive many a bad bridge in my life, two crossing into St. Louis from IL where I grew up and the Sunshine Skyway Bridge in Florida where I lived many years. I wish I could give you a certain way to cure the phobia. Mine wanes and waxes but I can drive over almost any bridge now. Most phobias are based on control issues. I went to a therapist to learn relaxation techniques whiche helped in a variety of problems in my life including panic disorder. The thing I found most helpful in crossing bridges is distraction. If I have someone with me to carry on even an inane discission it helps. Or singing loud with the radio. Just remember, you are still in control even when you are on a bridge!!! One last thought, I find that onece I get to the halfway point, the fear starts to dissipate. Let me know how things are going or if you find anything that works. Try to find the least intimidating bridge for you and drive over it often with a trusted friend or partner who understands your fear. This has helped me. I find that if I explain it to my passenger they are usually very supportive. As the therapist says "Face your fear!" Remember that it is not something to be embarrassed or ashamed of!!!!!!!!!!

alwanna wrote:I too have suffered from a bridge phobia for many years! I have had to drive many a bad bridge in my life, two crossing into St. Louis from IL where I grew up and the Sunshine Skyway Bridge in Florida where I lived many years. I wish I could give you a certain way to cure the phobia. Mine wanes and waxes but I can drive over almost any bridge now. Most phobias are based on control issues. I went to a therapist to learn relaxation techniques whiche helped in a variety of problems in my life including panic disorder. The thing I found most helpful in crossing bridges is distraction. If I have someone with me to carry on even an inane discission it helps. Or singing loud with the radio. Just remember, you are still in control even when you are on a bridge!!! One last thought, I find that onece I get to the halfway point, the fear starts to dissipate. Let me know how things are going or if you find anything that works. Try to find the least intimidating bridge for you and drive over it often with a trusted friend or partner who understands your fear. This has helped me. I find that if I explain it to my passenger they are usually very supportive. As the therapist says "Face your fear!" Remember that it is not something to be embarrassed or ashamed of!!!!!!!!!!

Alwanna,
It is easy to tell you REALLY get it! My problems with bridges have definitely waxed and waned over the years also. There was a point in my life (I was on an antidepressant) when it was not an issue at all. And yes, I have tried that same antidepressant again and it did not help. I would also rather not take it because I am not depressed!
You are so right about it being a control issue and I am well aware of that. I also know that once I am past the halfway point, really very close to being off the bridge, it all just disappears. I have, over the years, called someone on my cellphone and talked all the way across. That helps more some times than others. Radio, singing, yelling "Okay, take me now, I'm ready! all the way across, nothing worked. There is nothing predictable about this for me!
I used to be married to a man who made me feel really ashamed of this. Note the "used to be". No, that wasn't why we divorced, but it was just part of who he was.
I began this thread because I am losing my job (budget cuts ) and was interviewing for one that would require a great deal of travel. Well, I had that interview and I do not want the job, for reasons completely unrelated to the bridges, I should add! That is what brought all this to the forefront for me again and my current dear hubby is now going to work with me on this. We have picked out some bridges to begin with and I intend to beat this thing.
Last but far from least, THANK YOU for your post. I cannot tell you what it means to me, but maybe I don't have to. Maybe you know.

Jeanette

Sorry to hear about your job loss, but I'm glad the one with the travel isn't working out, since the bridges would've been a problem. That means there's a better job waiting for you! I've had obsessions and phobias, so I know how they feel. One therapist I went to years ago said that many phobias (like fear of heights or bridges) aren't about the THINGS, but about our fear that we might fling ourselves over the edge. Sounds creepy, but that really helped me put into perspective what I was feeling and improved my ability to manage. Just sayin'. I've also had students who had suffered severe trauma have astounding success with the tapping mentioned earlier. Good luck, and let us know!