jnk wrote:blizzardboy wrote:BB sits on his horse up on top of the ridge surveying the scene that has unfolded in front of him. Since the original call to arms this battle has unfolded like a stream finding its way down a valley for the first time. His advisers stand by, channeling years of experience from previous battles. But BB knows that he must issue the next command, taking care to insulate himself from the emotion of battle, steeling his mind to find the bedrock hiding deep amongst the reeds. His army will proceed and not be lost. Victory will be to BB's army. Now he just needs to work out how to ride the horse...
Heed not the banter and jests of idle warriors. From atop your mount, nod, gesture and set us upon our next task.
Today I feel like I've been hit with a mortar round - a bit stunned and in shock (metaphorically akin to the ramshackle cabin posted by Muffy.)
As I try to regroup I recall the following facts:
- My OSA is apparently well managed at present
- I am not experiencing EDS at present
- I am sleeping better since my inflammation (pain) has been treated with steroids
- My new-found joint pain and swelling was having a profound impact on my sleep and daily life (e.g. couldn't put my socks on; hobbling around)
- I don't want to stay on steroids
- Methotrexate/folate/hydroxychloroquine/fish oil is Plan A for controlling inflammation (pain)
- There is apparently Plan B and C if methotrexate doesn't work out
- Maybe in denial, I feel like getting a second opinion on my RA diagnosis
- My sleep doctor still needs to get back to me about PLMs/arousals from my PSG (reminder sent)
- Maybe another PSG is on the cards within the not-so-distant future (e.g. 6 months)
- I still don't know if I suffer from GERD
The rheumatologist told me that medicine is an art not a science. As a physicist, I feel frustrated by the vagueness of diagnosis and the potential roller-coaster ride that one can proceed on by taking different medicines without full belief that the diagnosis is spot on. Certainty, I want certainty, oh, and a healthy measure of confidence and control too.
(insert dreamy music)
But one's body is not a sphere in a vacuum, but instead a myriad of interconnected processes in a soup of complexity framed in a haystack of history and influences.
(BB goes off to lunch continuing to CBT himself silly...)