Bagpiper

The Irish Bagpiper's Story

As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost and when I finally arrived I was an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave where I saw the vault lid already in place.

I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I played out my heart and soul.

As I played the workers began to weep. I played and I played like I'd never played before, from Going Home and The Lord is My Shepherd to Flowers of the Forest. I closed the lengthy session with Amazing Grace and walked to my car.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, "Sweet Jeezuz, Mary'n Joseph, I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Good one!!!!

My father loves bagpipe music. Is this a committable offense in Alabama? Can I get him into a mental institution soon?

LOL,
B.

Babette wrote:Good one!!!!

My father loves bagpipe music. Is this a committable offense in Alabama? Can I get him into a mental institution soon?

LOL,
B.

Oh no. He should feel very much at home in Alabama: http://alabamascots.info/gallery.html

What's to hate about bag pipes. What else are men allowed to do while wearing a skirt with nothing else under it? I would figure down south just about anything would be allowed in order to keep cool.

Bagpipes is one of the things I miss about Nova Scotia. They play them every where.

Gerryk wrote:What's to hate about bag pipes. What else are men allowed to do while wearing a skirt with nothing else under it? I would figure down south just about anything would be allowed in order to keep cool.

Obviously you haven't been Contra Dancing lately. Okay, I'll give you that most Contra Dancing men wear SOMETHING underneath the skirts.

LOL,
B.

The guys up here who play the bagpipes don't. They aren't afraid to tell anyone either.

The question I always had was when they sit down do they sit on the thing or move it behind them so it doesn't get wrinkled? I just hope I am not the next one sitting where they just sat.

My favorite Bagpipe "joke":

Fella rudely aska a piper what he wears under his "skirt."
Piper answers "Your wife's lipstick."

I hang out with pipers, and other assorted "weirdo's" in skirts AND kilts. And Utilikilts (utilikilts.com) for that matter. I've learned over the years just how freakin' annoying getting sexually harrassed about your "skirt" can be. I've learned to quit grabbing butt cheeks, even when they ARE freely accessible.

Took me about 15 years, but I'm now a Reformed Butt-Grabber-Aholic.

BTW, Utilikilts should not be worn by the chicken-legged. Seriously. I have this skinny little friend who insists on wearing one. It's not helping his social life. He's now edging up on being the 50 year old version. Used to just be the 40 year old Virgin.

True story: Met the current BF on a blind date. Invited him to join me at the local Contra Dance. He doesn't dance, but he was desperate for a date. We ended up sitting up in the balcony, watching the dancers, and quietly snickering at the "weirdos" amongst them (not all of them qualify, but some certainly do - and many of the weird were men in skirts of one sort or another). My chicken-legged little friend showed up. In a kilt. And his black leather Harley Davidson vest. Looking really FLAMINGLY WEIRD. I had a brief chat with him, and shooed him on his way. And apologized for his weirdness to the blind date I was attempting to seduce.

Greg still refers to that night as "The Weirdo Dance," and I'm really freakin' amazed how hard up he must have been to agree to a second date with me.

LOL,
B.

Greg still refers to that night as "The Weirdo Dance," and I'm really freakin' amazed how hard up he must have been to agree to a second date with me.

LOL,
B.[/quote]

Maybe he just knows he made a good find.

Hey at least it's normal for bagpipers to wear skirts.

One of the guys at work went into a local store with his wife and when they were checking out he saw this women er guy well what ever it was and got caught staring. The ummm person walked over and in a very manly voice asked if he liked what he saw. He said yeah you look fantastic.

It was even funnier when his wife told it at our Christmas party especially his answer because he was so shocked that's about all he could say.

His newest theme song is Dude looks like a lady!

I regularly wear kilts, both for dress and for utility (I am 1/2 irish, no Scottish). Besides the usual short kilt, I also occasionally wear a great kilt. With the utility kilt, it is noce to have some air circulation when you are doing heavy outside work. I do wear underwear under my kilts, which helps them stay cleaner (the dress kilts are really hard to wash), and prevents 'accidents'.

I am also a big fan of bagpipe music, both the popular and classical kind. I enjoy ensemble music with bagipies, especially rock/celtic/tribal bands as opposed to traditional pipe and drum corps. I am also interested in 'new music' performed with bagpipes, that does not necessarily follow the rules that most traditional pipers have to follow (It is those stylistic rules that make bagpipes a difficult instrument to play). I am hoping to eventually get a set of pipes, and nearly have bought them on a couple of occasions. The first step though, is to get a practice chanter, and start learning how to play the 'difficult' part. In any case, for just being able to play just nine notes, in the ancient myxolydian church mode (which is somewhere between major and minor), the bagpipes is a remarkable and versitile instrument.

Playing bagpipes, along with weight loss, CPAP therapy, etc. is said to help with SDB.

Yet another kilt-wearing CPAP user, here. I've a few, including one made by Catnapper.



As I'm not one who does a lot of formal stuff, most of my kilts are of the "contemporary" type--a third of my kilts came from Utilikilts.

I find them far more comfortable than jeans, which were my former preferred attire.

For a while, there, about the only time I wasn't wearing a kilt is when I'm a) on a bike, b) getting ready to go ride a bike, or c) just got home from riding a bike. When I roll out of bed to walk the dog, though, it's about as easy to pull on some sweats, at least for a little while.


I'd read both of the jokes before, along with many others--many too ribald for this forum.