CPAP Humor - Book Title Search

sir_cumference · Post by **sir_cumference** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 7:05 am

ok, so now I got a little creative again ... sorry!

Sleeping’s a breeze? by sir_cumference

As he put his mask upon his face
He prayed for sleep, He prayed for grace,
To make it through without a leak,
Not have to wake and stop the squeak,
To pull and push to wiggle and jiggle,
To stretch his lip his nose hairs tickle,
To toss and turn and grab the hose,
Not sit up to fast and stretch his nose,
Then huff and puff turn side to side,
Adjust the duvet, wipe his eyes,
But the secret is – for all to know,
Just empty your bladder then go with the flow!

sir_cumference (telling it the way it is!)

Sleepless on LI · Post by **Sleepless on LI** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 7:07 am

A literal Laugh-Out-Loud-er!!! You still got it, SC!!! Welcome back.

LynfromOz · Post by **LynfromOz** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 7:14 am

Pure pleasure 'pon perusing your prose on PAP.

TXKajun · Post by **TXKajun** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 7:48 am

sir_cumference wrote:

Sleeping’s a breeze? by sir_cumference

*snip*

But the secret is – for all to know,
Just empty your bladder then go with the flow!

sir_cumference (telling it the way it is!)

Great advice, sir_cumference! Reminds me kinda sorta of the old adage about never taking a laxative and a sleeping pill just before bedtime! ROFL

This therapy WORKS!!! (but ya gotta do things in the right order!!!)

sir_cumference · Post by **sir_cumference** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 9:00 am

I don't know if this will work for everyone, as I don't know if the song it's based on is known wider than the UK ... but here goes anyway ...

Dealing with a leak… by sir_cumference

You put your nose bit in,
Your nose bit out,
In out, in out,
You shake it all about ….!
You shout, ‘Oh, blinking Nora! Will this ever fit?’
And that’s what it’s all about!

Ohhh m’ leaking masky,
Ohhh m’ leaking masky
Ohhh m’ leaking masky
That’s it – I’ve had enough
AAGH!! AAGH!! AAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!

This has to stop ... I have work to do!

sir_cumference ... (distracted by humour)

PS Can you imagine how long this took to spell-check?

Barb (Seattle) · Post by **Barb (Seattle)** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 9:26 am

Sleepless on LI · Post by **Sleepless on LI** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 9:33 am

SC,

You're at it again!!!

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 9:48 am

Hmm maybe sir should have titled that the "Nokey Pokey"

sir_cumference · Post by **sir_cumference** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:34 pm

I’ve got it! How about this for the perfect catchy little title?

‘An Investigation Into the Relative Benefits to Compliancy or Otherwise of Invasive Pneumatic Pressure Treatment through the Dissemination of Anecdotally Perceived Peculiarities, Abnormalities and Absurdities Experienced or Observed and Transmitted in the Vernacular and Prose’

Published by U-A.R.S.E.
(The University of Anatomical Research and Surgical Experimentation)

Contributions from:

Dr Ivor Blower (BA, MA, PhD) (UK)

Prof Nos Trils (BA, MA, PhD, FART1) (Finland)

F. F. Mask (BA, MA, PhD, FART1, FITHFTMLATN2) (USA)

1 Fellow of the Association of Respiratory Therapists
2Fellow of the Institute of Those who Have Far Too Many Letters After Their Name

© Copyright 2005. All rights reserved. Should you wish to disseminate, copy or otherwise transmit any or all of the information in the volume this would indicate that you really need to get a life

sir_cumference (always so serious!)

Sleepless on LI · Post by **Sleepless on LI** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 6:46 pm

sir_cumference wrote:I’ve got it! How about this for the perfect catchy little title?

‘An Investigation Into the Relative Benefits to Compliancy or Otherwise of Invasive Pneumatic Pressure Treatment through the Dissemination of Anecdotally Perceived Peculiarities, Abnormalities and Absurdities Experienced or Observed and Transmitted in the Vernacular and Prose’

Not only is it catchy, but it just flows off one's tongue like melted ice cream, don't ya think???

lindas88 · Post by **lindas88** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 8:47 pm

Now all we need is unclebob to put his two cents worth in...funny stuff here...