Husband not supportive

foxhunter · Post by **foxhunter** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 2:36 pm

Hi btesterman, WELCOME. I am a new guy here but already the support and information I have been given has been priceless so now i am trying to repay some of my debt.
I am 68 and like your husband thought this was just a bunch of hooey and told my doc so when he said I was symptomatic. He asked me to keep an open mind and out of respect i did so.
My sleep test showed 434 respiratory events per 311 minutes of sleep time, and AHI of 98.4. My time in REM, the deepest most meaningful sleep was just 9%. 204 apneas in less than five hours of sleep. My mind was opened!!!. Especially after spending a lot of time researching on line. I have a book in my library called symptoms by Isadore Rosenfeldt MD which I have always found very valuable. Much to my surprise when I looked up Sleep apnea, it was there.. a whole section. and he wrote it 20 years ago!!!
I have congestive heart failure and Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, as well as a history of multiple heart surgeries, strokes and two heart attacks. Reading about this made me realize that although on borrowed time, there is no need to rush to a conclusion of ones life if there are alternatives. You only have one life, protect and enjoy it, NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES,
I am planning to be the guest of honor at my grandsons wedding. AND HE IS 10 !!!!.

DreamOn · Post by **DreamOn** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 8:30 pm

foxhunter wrote:I have congestive heart failure and Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, as well as a history of multiple heart surgeries, strokes and two heart attacks. Reading about this made me realize that although on borrowed time, there is no need to rush to a conclusion of ones life if there are alternatives. You only have one life, protect and enjoy it, NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES,
I am planning to be the guest of honor at my grandsons wedding. AND HE IS 10 !!!!.

That's the spirit, foxhunter!!! I hope that you're getting good results from CPAP therapy and feeling better!

~ DreamOn

underthedome · Post by **underthedome** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 2:51 pm

btesterman wrote:I am just beginning this journey and I hope you all won't get tired of my questions. I've done research but feel like I still know next to nothing at this point. I was diagnosed with OSA a week or so ago - stopped breathing 14.3 times per hour and 88% saturation rate (that's all I know at this point). I'm to go for the CPAP on Sunday night. The problem I have is that my husband has little faith in doctors (guess he thinks they're all out to make as much money as possible) and because he says he's never observed me not breathing he thinks this whole thing is a waste. He said last night he observed me for a long time and not once did I not have a steady breathing pattern. He says it is nothing to be concerned about. I asked him if he thought they falsified the results and he said no but I guess he feels that since I'm not gasping for breath (don't even wake up) it's no big deal and the whole thing is for a lot of people to make money off me. I don't have morning headaches, after a mug of coffee I feel fine until around noon then I go through yawning and very drowsy spells. The odd thing is that even though I feel like I want to sleep, I can't fall asleep for a nap and it takes hours for me to fall asleep at night. I guess once I go back to see my doctor I can get some documentation but for right now, even though he wouldn't forbid me to do this he thinks I'm over reacting to get the CPAP. I've read enough to know that OSA affects various organs and it is not just about how you "feel." I feel like it is an absolute blessing God provided when I found this group as you may be my only support.

grady61 · Post by **grady61** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 3:47 pm

Well, in my case it was an opposite-I didnt even want to go to my sleep study she insisted....and I even got mad at her for mentioning my sleeping habits to the doc when I was admitted to the hospital last august.

SnoresLikeWalrus · Post by **SnoresLikeWalrus** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 4:39 pm

I agree with this statement:

"But there seems to be a vain in some posts here of negativity towards him which is unfair and unattractive. And hey, I can be really quick to get in on the husband-bashing band wagon! In all likelihood he loves you, wants the best for you, but CPAP and apnea do seem heavy from the outside looking in. Once you're some months into therapy, all issues being resolved, and feeling much more energetic and rested, he'll understand."

Someone comes looking for support and some posters here seem to be getting very judgmental (obviously we don't have trained therapists here), but maybe those of you who are advocating divorce etc., when you don't even know who you are talking about and have as information just a few posts should lighten up and stop being cruel.

geesh!

Jersey Girl · Post by **Jersey Girl** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 5:17 pm

Dear Btesterman,

My husband also didn't think that I had sleep apnea because he said that I didn't stop breathing during the night. But, he has met my doctor and he sees that I am much more energetic and alert during the day. Now he has gone for his sleep study (I pushed him into it because of his loud snoring - it was either that, or I was going to make him sleep on the sofa ).

Sleep doctors and sleep studies are kind of foreign to many people. Even our PCP doctors don't often ask us how we've been sleeping. I think some education by your doctor will bring him around. If it doesn't, try not to get too discouraged - you will always have friends who support you here!

Please, keep us posted on how you are doing.

Warmly,

Your friend Jersey Girl

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