Who do you tell, and when, and why?

If you don't disclose it and something happens even if it is totally unrelated US insurance companies will drop you faster then a burning coal plus they will depend payment for everything they have paid for. This is documented by congressional committees, even if you have forgotten to mention a UTI or misstated you weight they will drop you.

Exactly. This is so true--that is why I pointed it out. This is probably the best commercial for doing away with preexisting conditions, but I don't want to start a political rant on an "on topic" thread.

I'm in Canada, so I don't have to worry about "basic" health coverage.

But I do know that I'd never get disability insurance now (and I don't have any through my job), nor could I increase my existing self-purchased life insurance coverage.

It has always struck me as ironic that if I actually *died* from an OSA-related cause, so long as it had never been diagnosed, my life insurance would pay out -- but if I had been diagnosed and disclosed my diagnosis, and *then* died of an OSA-related cause, it wouldn't be covered. Kind of damned if you do, damned if you don't...

I think these conversations *are* on-topic, because they relate to the topic of disclosure. No worries (from me) about thread hijacking.

MoneyGal wrote: It has always struck me as ironic that if I actually *died* from an OSA-related cause, so long as it had never been diagnosed, my life insurance would pay out -- but if I had been diagnosed and disclosed my diagnosis, and *then* died of an OSA-related cause, it wouldn't be covered. Kind of damned if you do, damned if you don't...
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The thing is that if your OSA is properly being treated the likely hood of those happening is dramatically reduced. There should be a premium for compliance just like for those who stopped smoking. People who are compliant actually save the insurance companies money because we can often reduce our medications and chances for a heart attack or stroke.

BlackSpinner: I completely agree. Compliance signals lower risk to an insurer.

I actually went through this with my house insurance company when I raised the deductible way beyond their standard $1000 -- I was not only saying I would bear the risk of all claims under the deductible amount, I was signalling that I would pay close attention to protecting my house (working smoke alarms, proper deadbolts), because I was sharing more of the risk with my insurance company -- so they reduced my premiums even further.

(I work in the insurance field, not as an agent; and think about risk management All. The. Time.)

I'm the general manager of a company with 50 employees. The President has it and so do four other employees. Everyone knows I have OSA. As others have said "when appropriate" I'll tell anyone who will listen, hopefully by me talking about my condition to others I my help someone else.

As with the rest of my life, my OSA is but one chapter of an open book. I am willing to discuss OSA, like any other aspect of my life, with anyone who asks or is interested - and frequently do since I am open about it and more and more people I know are being diagnosed. Its not that I instantly bring it up in conversation, but.... it manages to get out there.

I look at it this way, is there really any point in hiding or denying something that is part of what makes you who you are. It does not define any of us, but it is a part of us - and a part that we were wise enough to accept and take an active part in therapy.

I struggled with this when I was first diagnosed. But only at work. In my family/friends circle, male CPAPers are the majority! My brother and brother-in-law have been hosers for years.

I work in a very sensitive area. I'm in a "Personnel Reliability Program". Virtually ANYTHING that might adversely affect your judgement or perception is reportable and evaluated. "I have a headcold and dizzy spells" will get you reassigned to another area for the day...and rightly so.

Needless to say, I was very anxious about how they would handle OSA. But NOT reporting it would have repercussions, probably worse. It turned out quite well. If I come in and tell my boss "I had a rough night", he knows what I mean and i do desk duty that day. He also knows I won't abuse it, so there's no animosity at all. And if it's a really bad morning, I take a sick day. He trusts me to make the right call. Very few of my co-workers know, just those who need to.

Since we must report ANY medical treatment, the PRP Administrator knows (He's a CPAPer! I didn't know that until I was reporting mine.)

I speak only from my own experience, but I've never had a bad reaction when revealing it. It ain't leprosy, after all...

Interesting comments. I'm facing my own dilemma re finding a job: I will inform their insurance company when I complete the forms but do I tell my new boss? Last one knew because I came in late all the time and often fell asleep over my PC, her hubby is a hosehead so she understood the challenges of staying awake with untreated apnea; when I went for the PSG and came into the office at 7:15 that morning, I hadda tell 'em so they wouldn't have security questions as to why I was there hrs earlier than usual. I go back and forth on this but it's mostly don't tell as it does not affect my day to day job-related activities nor do I travel for my job. I have more of an issue being the emergency contact-support for my legally-blind friend (no family so I'm it) and my late 70s mom whose vision makes driving during anything but a sunny day impossible. Then again, I wear a MedicAlert bracelet so that tells anyone that I have some serious medical issue(s). It's a puzzle, that's for sure.

It all depends on how you look at, doesn't it?
A lot of people see it as a liability, a disability or a flaw but I see it as a wonderful trick I have discovered that has given me my life back. Like discovering gel insoles make my knees and butt not hurt. After years of thinking I was disintegrating I am chuffed to discover I have something so easily treated so effectively.
Most of the people on this board are examples of people anyone should want to hire. They have shown determination, initiative and compassion. They know themselves better for having met this hurdle and over come it. They aren't complacent anymore about anything in their health.

You might not have to at first directly tell your former colleague or business partner. He or she will naturally want to her an update on your life. If you tell him or her about all the things you are doing between work, karate, and your home life, they will notice that something is different from before. When s/he says "wow, how do you manage all that?," you could say something like "I figured out something really important about my health, and it's made a huge difference in terms of being able to take on much bigger goals." I think there's a way to talk about it that's inspiring (and you do, I know because I have read some of your posts). I remember the first time I heard an elder friend of mine talk about having sleep apnea and how he was treating it. It scared me to hear, but I was also impressed with him.

My hunch or guess (and I could be wrong) is that you are an extremely fair and responsible person. You probably are not looking for excuses about why the last job did not go so good, but you also want to be fair to yourself and have this former business partner understand that you weren't slacking or unskilled for the job. And you probably want them to realize that your possibly-rough performance was not due to their lack of skill as a business partner. It seems like you want to be fair to both of you by giving this person more information.

Regardless, trust your instinct. I bet once you meet up with this person, you will have a better sense of what makes sense to say.

Thanks for asking such a great and important question. I also appreciated hearing various viewpoints. There definitely is no simple answer, or an answer that fits every situation.

Hi All

All the posts above show us that there are different ways to look at this issue, and certainly we all have to make our individual decisions depending upon what circumstances we are facing.

There does appear to be one thought that I would like to challenge. That thought is that it is always good to get the job that you go for. I agree that sometimes it may be for the best to be backward with coming forward, and we have our politicians and news media as daily examples of the wrong way of doing that. On the other hand being open about oneself means that potential stress is avoided, and we can relax, and be ourselves.

It is about being vulnerable, and the human condition is usually to avoid being vulnerable, rather than having, or developing, the power to handle that vulnerability. I remember a saying I heard in the US in 1990 - "the truth will set you free....... but first it will piss you off".

I am not trying to persuade anybody about anything, but life is full of challenges. I have been sacked because of my drinking, and I have been sacked because I was going to meetings to make sure I did not drink. (I then went and got a better job, having told my prospective employer why I got sacked from the previous one).

For myself, I learned that I can handle people knowing that I am an alcoholic, as I later learned I could handle myself thinking, and others thinking, that I had some form of dementia. With accepting that I did not have the stress of pretending I was "normal", and so avoided the depression that often goes along with believing that one is losing one's mind.

You will be pleased to know my ramble is coming to an end; I guess this a kind of vent, and please remember that I do respect the views of all the posters above. But it was a great question to ask, and one that needed airing.

And one that I have been continually been having to address for many years.

cheers

Mars

I've told everyone I know by writing a blog about it on myspace. I waited until after 5ish months on CPAP. I wanted to really make sure it was going to work. Also, I was preoccupied with other stuff. I had planned on writing the blog around month 2.
For me, I think my treatment has been really a big, life-changing revolution for me.
Having said that, I don't bring it up in daily conversation-- No need to. I just feel thankful that I've got tons of energy now. Flashback to Feb 09, I felt like I was heading to an early grave. I had been hit with 4 weeks of cold-flu-bronchitis-whatever and combined with untreated OSA, my EDS got so bad I was drinking 12 cups of coffee per day just to keep from falling asleep on 10 minute drives.

I'd been complaining for years of being tired. My family, my close friends knew it was likely I'd miss out on social events because i'd fall asleep and be late. I'd doze off at work. People think of me as a mellow and quiet. Really, I was tired and sleepy and disconnected. The problem was my OSA went undiagnosed and mis-diagnosed for 10 years. Finally it got resolved in April 2009 with CPAP. It's wonderful! I feel like a new person. It's Awesome. And everyone seems really happy for me. Those close to me have noticed positive changes, especially my wife.

I look at wearing CPAP mask like when I wore orthodontic headgear as a kid. It was uncomfortable, but it corrected my crooked teeth. CPAP corrects my sleep and breathing. Another way to look at it-- its like glasses, correcting bad vision. Like bad vision or crooked teeth, I think of OSA as a correctable thing. I don't think of it like being sick or ill, at least, not in the way I think of it. When I think of being ill or sick, I think of having an infection that makes you bedridden-- like pneumonia or the flu.