Don't be a but(t)head!

bdp522 wrote:

Ya, but chin straps don't work and give me a headache. Ya, but taping makes me have panic attacks. Ya, but FF masks put pressure on my sinuses and drive me nuts. Ya, but nasal rinses don't work because they hurt my ears (a problem mentioned in the directions that came with it that says not to do the procedure if you get ear pain). Ya, but the Hybrid leaks so much at the bottom.

Sounds like you tried these thing and found that they didn't work. I think the original post was about someone who won't even try the suggestions made. They just make excuses of why the won't/can't. When pushed they just say I won't do that. I will soon be putting that person on my foe list. I love coming here and trying to help others, kinda paying forward the help I got in the beginning and all I've been taught here. However I don't feel the need to waste my time on someone who has no intention of even attempting to help themselves.

Brenda

You know, I think you're right, if it's the same poster I'm thinking about. I usually have a lot of patience with ya-buts, even when they seem to be excuses rather than someone having tried something that doesn't work. But that poster eventually started getting to me!

I wonder sometimes, though, if a person new to diagnosis (don't know if the poster in question is or not; I don't remember) is just so scared they're covering up the fear with a bunch of excuses, trying to find someone to say it's okay NOT to use the machine. Of course they won't find that response here (can you imagine!!). It's really hard to know how to reach someone like that; I guess sometimes we just can't as hard as we may try.

Pam

bdp522 wrote:

Ya, but chin straps don't work and give me a headache. Ya, but taping makes me have panic attacks. Ya, but FF masks put pressure on my sinuses and drive me nuts. Ya, but nasal rinses don't work because they hurt my ears (a problem mentioned in the directions that came with it that says not to do the procedure if you get ear pain). Ya, but the Hybrid leaks so much at the bottom.

Sounds like you tried these thing and found that they didn't work. I think the original post was about someone who won't even try the suggestions made. They just make excuses of why the won't/can't. When pushed they just say I won't do that. I will soon be putting that person on my foe list. I love coming here and trying to help others, kinda paying forward the help I got in the beginning and all I've been taught here. However I don't feel the need to waste my time on someone who has no intention of even attempting to help themselves.

Brenda

Very well said, Brenda. Thanks.

WearyOne, as stated previously, I know there are valid reasons why some suggestions just can't or won't work for someone in need of help. Yabbuts, in my book, are those few who don't/won't even consider taking the advice they're given, make excuses for everything, and whose only purpose is apparently to garner sympathy and/or be given a greenlight to failure. I have no patience for people like that, when so many here are trying so hard to help.

There is no greenlight to failure to be found on this forum. As (I think) Den's (Wulfman's) signature line says, "Either lead, follow, or get out of the way."

Babette wrote:...I'm so sick of offering someone help, and they are just too damn sleep deprived to make any cognitive sense of it, and then they berate me for not fixing all their problems...

Yes yes yes...that's it exactement! Been several here whose thinking is so deranged from oxygen and sleep deprivation they can't or won't try to understand the answers resulting in more whining which won't help their apnea. I was extremely muddleheaded at diagnosis BUT I knew I had a condition that untreated would result in mt death and soon...so I listened as best I could and just kept slogging thru the fog until I began getting some decent sleep and my brain started recovering.

Missed ya Babette!

Musey --

You never were a Yabuttski and never will be.

To be clear, this is the Yabuttski thread:

Yabuttski: I can't sleep, my bedroom is too cold.

Forum: So turn up the heat.

Y: The digital thermostat is too confusing.

F: So maybe a space heater for your bedroom?

Y: I'm afraid of starting a fire.

F: An electric blanket?

Y: They emit EMFs.

F: Flannel Pajamas?

Y: Pajamas are too restricting.

F: Another blanket?

Y: Too heavy.

F One of those lightweight silver mylar space blankets?

Y: They make crinkly noises.

F: Move to south Florida?

Y: A 'gator will get me.

You get the picture. Nothing short of altering the climate at the Yabuttski's location will work.

And I don't think even Wulfman can do that.

jdm2857 wrote:
To be clear, this is the Yabuttski thread:

Yabuttski: I can't sleep, my bedroom is too cold.
Forum: So turn up the heat.
Y: The digital thermostat is too confusing.
F: So maybe a space heater for your bedroom?
Y: I'm afraid of starting a fire.
F: An electric blanket?
Y: They emit EMFs.
F: Flannel Pajamas?
Y: Pajamas are too restricting.
F: Another blanket?
Y: Too heavy.
F One of those lightweight silver mylar space blankets?
Y: They make crinkly noises.
F: Move to south Florida?
Y: A 'gator will get me.

You get the picture. Nothing short of altering the climate at the Yabuttski's location will work.

And I don't think even Wulfman can do that.

Perfect!

jdm2857 wrote:Musey --

You never were a Yabuttski and never will be.

To be clear, this is the Yabuttski thread:

Yabuttski: I can't sleep, my bedroom is too cold.

Forum: So turn up the heat.

Y: The digital thermostat is too confusing.

F: So maybe a space heater for your bedroom?

Y: I'm afraid of starting a fire.

F: An electric blanket?

Y: They emit EMFs.

F: Flannel Pajamas?

Y: Pajamas are too restricting.

F: Another blanket?

Y: Too heavy.

F One of those lightweight silver mylar space blankets?

Y: They make crinkly noises.

F: Move to south Florida?

Y: A 'gator will get me.

You get the picture. Nothing short of altering the climate at the Yabuttski's location will work.

And I don't think even Wulfman can do that.

This is great!!

BB, I was a little muddleheaded in my first reading and didn't quite "get it." Brenda nicely clued me in, though! (I snored too much last night and woke up a million times. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! )

Pam

I am so gratedul I found y'all! Y'all make me laugh and that makes up for so so much gone wonky in my life.

Well, I laugh every time I see the extraterrestrial cat in your avatar.

WearyOne wrote: BB, I was a little muddleheaded in my first reading and didn't quite "get it." Brenda nicely clued me in, though! (I snored too much last night and woke up a million times. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! )

Pam

Works for me!

Ya Butt, When I have a question you're telling me to do what?!....... When?!....... How?!............ Where?!!!!!! Oh my God, I can't do that!!!!!!!! Ya Butt, I did and you know what? You people know what you're talking about. I am so glad I found this forum and with your suggestions and encouragement, I have taken charge of my treatment and have been successful. I feel much better than I have in years. Ya Butt........................

Rosie

jdm2857 wrote:Well, I laugh every time I see the extraterrestrial cat in your avatar.

If ya ever saw my hair (what's left I wear spiky), ya'd know how much that looks like me...as kteague said either bemused or crazed

When I first started coming here and reading about what all people did to try to improve their therapy I had a few "can't do that" come into my mind. Tape or polygrip?? I thought that must be a really desperate attempt. I didn't see how I could possibly resort to it. Did I though? You bettcha. Not nearly as bad as it sounds despite the ashen face my DME gets when I mention it.

One thing I did simply refuse to try was Rooster's tennis balls in the backwards pajama thing. I knew that with my already fragile sleep architecture from back and pelvic pain that adding another discomfort wouldn't do anything but eliminate all events because I wouldn't be able to sleep period. I did try to work out a compromise though that would help keep me on my back to see if that helped with the events. I preferred to try to find a more comfortable alternative and I have had some success along those lines.

I went back and read a lot of the very old threads where there were many other people who countered every idea with a negative "can't" or "but". I could pretty much tell my the overall tone whether that person was going to be one of those people who ends up with their machine stored in the closet or up for sale on craigslist because "it didn't help".

I might have an occasional "can't" in my vocabulary myself but I haven't found anything yet that didn't have some sort of potential workaround if I was willing to do just a little bit of work.

CPAP therapy is work and unfortunately not the quick fix that patients have come to expect in regards to medical care. Some people simply "can't" or won't do the work. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink and there comes a point that you just have to tell the horse to go find the water when they get ready to drink.

The 'Ya but....' attitude bothers me a lot. I encounter it in more places then just here. Talking to viewers of our TV station who are having reception issues.... some of them seem to have problems that break the laws of physics. Once in a while, they do genuinely present a unique problem (One person's DTV converter was displaying the wrong callsign....turned out to be a legitimate problem of a box with corrupted software. These usually render the box inoperative.), but most of the time, they simply don't want to try.

There is another gentleman on another list, where we work to fight ainmal rights and big government so we can own our unusual animals in peace. Every time someone suggests an idea, he tells us why it won't work... 'the vast right wing conspiracy'....'corrupted court system'....they tried and got sued anyway. even with the law on their side'. People like this we don't need when we are fighting a battle against a much stronger foe. Negativism is contagious.

Although I don't pretend to understand every therapy situation presented here, some seem so hopeless you just wish you could be with them for a day or so and see through to their real problem. They say 'no' to every idea, so you wonder what they are hiding.

I have a good friend like that. He recently turned down life-saving surgery for fear of taking a pre-surgery test that was not nearly as bad as the surgery itself. Even admitted to me that he had 'signed his own death certificate' by doing this. He seems to have adverse reactions to medications that countless millions take without major side effects. I often wonder if these are real, or if they are psychosomatic reactions. It is very frustrating to watch a friend die like that when there is a simple route to several more years of quality life.

timbalionguy wrote,"Although I don't pretend to understand every therapy situation presented here, some seem so hopeless you just wish you could be with them for a day or so and see through to their real problem. They say 'no' to every idea, so you wonder what they are hiding."

Well said.

I'll admit when I first got my diagnosis I was in denial and told myself "NO WAY" could I ever wear a mask. Claustrophobia and such. My husband will find me unattractive, etc etc.

Then I found this forum and read, and read, and read some more. Some of the stuff I saw you guys doing is pretty out there, but hey it works for you. I still maintain I could NEVER tape my mouth shut, that would be too much for me (brings back some pretty traumatic events so...No, I could not do that). HOWEVER....

I said to myself, I have a choice, get over yourself, or die...those are your options. So, I got over myself, came back here, read some more, read more still. I went my DME the first time armed with exactly what I wanted, I knew what mask would be good for me with the claustrophobia and confinement issues.

I was lucky at bat it out of the park for picking the right mask first up. I will say though, that after reading the taping mouth thing and other stories, I can honestly say, if I needed to move to a full face mask, I could do it. I'd proabaly still have some phobia issues, but I can talk myself into doing a lot of things I've discovered.

Anyhow. My point is...we are truly the masters of our own destiny. I have no problems with people who give alternative ideas, or suggestions honest thought and consideration, and even attempt them. Getting shut out of the gate from the get go after offering suggestions, and then seeing a poster start another thread about the same topic after shutting down all the ideas given originally because they didn't hear what they want to hear is what gets to me.

Thanks for a venting thread!!