Just can't do it...

When my husband was diagnosed 20 years ago with sleep apnea, the doctor told him--"We have just now saved your life!" I started CPAP myself about a month ago. It has been rough, lots of help here, and it is getting better. I never forgot what that doctor said, even though I wanted to be Queen of Denial. It makes a difference to tell yourself you will be in charge and will win this battle and go on to win the war! You and your health are what matters. Nervous people laugh. Be bigger than that. You can do this! All the best--JS

I did try last night...it didn't go so well. Ended up taking it off in less than an hour again due to frustration. But I promised myself I am going to try again tonight. That's all I can do...try.

Say more about the frustration........

You will have better success in eliminating obstacles if you can articulate them....



J

bzerbe wrote:I did try last night...it didn't go so well. Ended up taking it off in less than an hour again due to frustration. But I promised myself I am going to try again tonight. That's all I can do...try.

Make it two hours tonight.

Wear it watching TV or reading a book during the day sometime if you can.

Talk to the dogs and explain how that machine and mask are going to change your life. (It's OK to talk to dogs as long as they don't talk back. )

Try to think during the day about that hose delivering lifegiving air pressure to you, pumping you full of the next day's life. Think about it during the day so your brain will be used to the idea when you have the battle of wills with your brain tonight. Because the battle isn't really between you and the machine. You and your machine are on the same side. It's just that your brain knows you've had trouble breathing in the past, so when it feels something on your face, it may view it as a threat instead of recognizing it as the solution. Your job is to teach your brain that the mask/machine is its friend. Some brains take more convincing than others. But it will thank you later once it recognizes that it gets more 02 from your wearing the mask. Then it will crave the mask instead of fighting it. And it will reward you by working better. That was my experience, anyway.

Your brain loves you and wants you to live so it can live too. It is just a little confused right now. All the effort you put into visualizing the good and educating yourself and letting yourself get used to the idea at your own pace will eventually pay off as long as you persevere.

I am glad you are keeping at it.

Please keep us updated.

There may be some practical things you can do, and that others here can help you with, to lessen the frustration, if you can more specifically pinpoint the source so that it can be addressed directly, like JayC said.

jeff

(I hope my brain talk isn't irritating. Maybe normal people don't talk to their brains the way I talk to mine. I don't know. None of the people I work with here where I work are normal.)

Well, to elaborate, my mood changed immediately as it got closer to bedtime, but I told myself I was going to do this. I was so crabby that I snapped at my bf to give me some room! He fell asleep instantly, but I struggled with the masks and machines for about an hour before I took it off entirely.

I started with the CPAP pro, fiddling with the mouthpiece and the nasal pillows for awhile. The left side kept leaking and the mouthpiece was feeling too tight and drying my upper lip out so fast that it felt like it was going to crack. So I took that mask off and got out my full face mask.

Set it all up, made the adjustments, reset my ramp and actually fell asleep pretty quickly. Woke up a short time later (I think when the pressure got to its max) with air blowing into my left eye and the bridge of my nose hurting. I tried to readjust a couple of times, took the mask off and put it back on a few times. At this point I kept getting a crinkle in the cover right around my mouth and it was bothering the heck out of me.

So I took it off completely, restrained myself from throwing it, turned off the machine and went downstairs to sleep on the couch because I was so angry and frustrated.

Hey, look, you fell asleep with it on. That's further along than many.

As for mask problems, we've all been through those. Sometimes the fix is fairly easy (lip salve maybe for the mouthpiece-style mask? trying loosening the straps maybe for the mask crinkle on the full-face mask?) and sometimes it takes some imagination, and other times it means trying a new mask, since the mask is the key to the therapy and is a very individual thing. (I think that may be a reason that CPAP.com offers mask insurance to allow for trying masks, and why many brick-and-mortar DMEs allow a thirty-day trial for masks that can then be exchanged.)

Finding the solutions can be like a big game. It's kind of like being in the first chapter of a murder-mystery novel where you get the opportunity to prevent your own death from happening. You get to find how to prevent O2-deprived sleep. There may be some adventures along the way. But if the book ends with you still alive, all the little adventures along the way were worth it. Even the down parts of the ups and downs.

If the mask is the main problem, you may not be all that far off from CPAP nirvana. You might want to consider trying posting some threads on this board asking about specific problems with a specific mask. Just an idea.

is it possible the preasure is to high? You fell asleep with the lower preasures, is it possible if you were a point or two less than maybe you would stay asleep and get benifit? I have no real knowledge other than for me some times I need higher pressure and some times lower, depends on my chest. ( I dont have cpap but rather bipap )

bzerbe wrote: Set it all up, made the adjustments, reset my ramp and actually fell asleep pretty quickly. Woke up a short time later (I think when the pressure got to its max) with air blowing into my left eye and the bridge of my nose hurting. I tried to readjust a couple of times, took the mask off and put it back on a few times. At this point I kept getting a crinkle in the cover right around my mouth and it was bothering the heck out of me.

Within the first week I stopped using the ramp with my full face mask because I'd fall asleep with no leaks but once I was on the higher pressure, the mask would be leaking all over the place. So I worked with the mask in the daytime at the pressure I would be at during the night and worked on the leaks then to get an idea of what might eliminate them. Then at night I didn't use the ramp, so that I was starting closer to what my highest pressure would be. That way I would find out about leaks while I was still awake and could work on them then.

In the end I did have to change to a nasal pillow mask and it works really well for me. I'm not sure the full face mask I was trying at first (in both small and xsmall sizes) would ever have worked out for me. But I sure wouldn't have wanted to give up because that particular mask didn't work. There is a big difference in the way various masks can feel to a person. The right mask is very important to making things work.

My first mask was a Mirage Quattro FF, had leaks and spent more time adjusting it during the night, second mask was a Activa Mirage , same thing had leaks spent more time adjusting it at night. Third mask was a Mirage Micro, same thing had leaks spent more time adjusting it at night. Fourth mask was the Swift LT and is working great for the last week and a half using the small nasal pillows. Was given a fifth mask, Ultra Mirage FF to try as a backup mask for those times that I would be too congested for the Swift LT and again could not get it to sit right without getting leaks so back to the Swift LT. Yesterday I tried the medium pillows as I felt sometimes that I had trouble with the small nasal pillows on the Swift LT with small leaks or just not sitting right in general and had the best sleep since using the Swift LT...

As like me you may have to try different masks, nasal pillows before you get the right configuration that is right for you.

Don't give up...

That's a good idea about the ramp. I think it would work two-fold for me because (1) I would know about the leaks at a higher pressure right away and (2) at the lowest pressure of the ramp I don't feel like I am getting enough air. It makes my chest feel kind of "fluttery."

But I did also think that my pressure may be too high. Sometimes it feels like the mask is suctioned so tight to my face I can hardly move it. That doesn't seem right.

What is your pressure? Maybe you need to lower it a few points until you get used to that, then raise it .5 or 1 at a time until you are at your prescribed pressure.

bzerbe wrote:That's a good idea about the ramp. I think it would work two-fold for me because (1) I would know about the leaks at a higher pressure right away and (2) at the lowest pressure of the ramp I don't feel like I am getting enough air. It makes my chest feel kind of "fluttery."

But I did also think that my pressure may be too high. Sometimes it feels like the mask is suctioned so tight to my face I can hardly move it. That doesn't seem right.

My pressure is set at 11. The ramp starts at 4 and goes to 11 in a half an hour.

Yeah I would bring it down and see if you can get used to a lower pressure for a week or so and then slowly raise it. Whatever it takes to get used to it!

bzerbe wrote:My pressure is set at 11. The ramp starts at 4 and goes to 11 in a half an hour.

In my opinion your ramp is set way too low! That could be the cause of you feeling like you are not getting enough air and your chest feeling "fluttery".

At such a low pressure most people are not getting enough air. It is often not enough to adequately blow out the CO2. The CO2 in a confined area like a cpap mask needs enough air to blow it out or you can get the feelings you describe. A half hour at the pressure is a too long to be rebreathing some CO2 because of the confined space in the mask (true for almost any mask), which is what you are doing if the pressure isn't high enough to blow it out and 4 cm usually isn't high enough.

If it were me and I was using ramp, I would set it at 6 or, even better, 8 if my pressure was set at 11.

Hawthorne wrote:In my opinion your ramp is set way too low! That could be the cause of you feeling like you are not getting enough air and your chest feeling "fluttery".

At such a low pressure most people are not getting enough air. It is often not enough to adequately blow out the CO2. The CO2 in a confined area like a cpap mask needs enough air to blow it out or you can get the feelings you describe. A half hour at the pressure is a too long to be rebreathing some CO2 because of the confined space in the mask (true for almost any mask), which is what you are doing if the pressure isn't high enough to blow it out and 4 cm usually isn't high enough.

If it were me and I was using ramp, I would set it at 6 or, even better, 8 if my pressure was set at 11.

Yup. Me too.