Okay, I'm a little discouraged...

As my name suggests, I am a teacher. Have been off for 8 weeks now with 2 to go. Week 2: had ankle surgery, weeks 2-6: cast then boot, no swimming (it's been really hot in Chicago area!) Sleeping was crap, I was exhausted, chalked it up to cast,etc. Week 7/8: (4 days after shedding boot and okay to swim) Now have shingles. Back to stuck at home with 2 little kids, 95 degrees outside, and the threat of Chicken Pox looming. So, needless to say, I once again feel like crap. I'm finding it VERY difficult to tolerate my mask, especially come 1 or 3 in the am. So, it's been coming off some. Now, and it's only about 1 month old, my stupid mask appears to not be sitting right so it leaks. I wear an Ultra Mirage FF due to mouth breathing all my life. No, I couldn't do a chin strap/tape job. So, I still feel like crap, but can't complain to MDs at this point because the crappy feeling will all be attributed to illness, not apnea/mask. I'm so frustrated and tired I could scream!!

Thanks for listening. My husband's sick of it and I had to cancel my psychologists appt. because I am still contagious.

Sue

Gosh ITeach...you are having a terrible time. I have had shingles before and I know it is no picnic. I had it on the side of my face...and I know how much it itches but how painful it is...Give yourself time to heal your ankle and your shingles then when you are feeling better the cpap will come. This hasn't been a very good summer vacation for you. Maybe by the time you get back to teaching you will be looking back at this and things will then be on the right track. Maybe you should try a different mask. I had a hard time wearing a full face mask too. I find if I wash my face before bed I get a better seal. Did you try that? Hang in there....

Sorry you're having such a rough time of it. Can we find anything positive here?

- You have two wonderful kids?
- You have a patient, understanding husband?
- You are employed?
- You had the last 8 weeks off (granted they weren't great but you could have been at work)
- You live in a great city in the greatest country in the world where you have access to great medical care!
- You have a home.
- I have to go to my one o'clock meeting now so I'll leave the less obvious optimism for you to reflect upon.

This too shall pass. Hang in there!

Chuck

Hi Sue!!
Hang in there. I totally understand your frustration. You have every right to be cranky....you've had a lot to deal with. Try to hang in there and take one thing at a time. Getting used to a CPAP when you're healthy is frustrating....I can't imaging how hard it must be for you being sick. Hang around this Board and read the suggestions that are out there. I find this Board to be very encouraging. I've learned to keep on trying new things and don't get upset if they don't work out. Some nights, I sleep really well but still feel crappy when I wake up. I can't wait for the day that I wake up feeling energized. In the mean time, I try to focus on whatever accomplishments I can get. I started using a new mask about a week ago and was able to wear it all night. 2 nights ago, it drove me crazy and I ripped it off. I didn't give up though...I put it on again last night and luckily I kept it on all night. So, that was an accomplishment. I still feel like crap but I can't focus on the negative...it won't do me any good. I keep reading advice that people give and I'm educating myself as much as possible. I've already learned things that my DME didn't know. Eventually this will all pay off and I'll feel better.
You will also feel better too someday. Go ahead and be cranky, for a while, and then start counting your blessings. At least you won't be starting the new school year in a cast/boot or with shingles. If your kids get the chicken pox, it should be over within a week. They should recover by the time school begins.
Remember, this is only 1 summer out of hundreds...you can do it!!!

I hope that venting your frustrations can help with your depression and other discomforts like having shingles, the heat wave and drought in Illinois. Anyway, I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are dealing with. It could be worse, you and your family could be depending on farming and be living in downstate Illinois. Incidently east central Illinois is where I graduated from high school.

So sorry to hear about all that you are going through! Wow, all at once, no respite!

I also wear an ultra mirage FF mask due to mouth breathing and it can be very hard to seal sometimes. I hope you don't have the shingles on your face? Then it would be impossible to use the mask.

If you absolutely can't use the mask sometimes, have you tried sleeping in a recliner (if you have one available) so you are elevated? That sometimes helps with the apnea and you might feel better. If not, can you elevate the head of the bed with some bricks, books etc.? The recliner is better if you can however.

Hope you are feeling better sooon, sooon, sooon!!!

Best regards.

Thank you all. I forgot to mention that I have been on apap since February, so I thought I had the mask bugs out. Unfortunately, I am a stomach/side sleeper. The shingles are on my stomach and preferred side and the mask can be finicky in those positions. I just can't seem to fix any of it and get a decent night's sleep. I know it will get better and I will sleep again. I just have to get moving on getting ready for school. I knew about the ankle surgery so I got bulletin boards up in spring, but I need to unpack all that was put away for summer and make my room inviting by August 18th when our parents will come meet us and bring supplies.

I'm sorry. Too much complaining. I'm done.

Sue

I don't know what grade you teach, but I know there's nothing new students like better than to help the teacher set up the classroom! Give them boxes to unpack, buy them a pizza, and they'll be thrilled! (And so will you!)

Hang in there!

(((Sue)))

[quote="ITeach"]

Thanks for listening. My husband's sick of it and I had to cancel my psychologists appt. because I am still contagious.

Sue

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[quote]

Sue...I had a thought....why can't you have a phone call appt. with your psychologist. Who says you have to be face-to-face.
I hope you're feeling a little better now. I got pretty cranky today too and did some venting...it must be the weather. I'm in Indiana and our weather is as bad as yours.
Hang in there...Amy

Awww Sue - I feel for you! That all just stinks! I can see why your feeling overwhelmed. Holy everything all at once!
Well I hope your kids don't get chicken pox or if they do, hope its a mild case.
I can relate to your frustrations - I'm having my own right now (although my kids are grown so its a bit easier in that sense). I had a kidney stone about 3 or 4 weeks ago, and it was awful - never did I have so much pain. Missed 2 days work when I really couldnt afford to. Then, on 7/24 I started getting really ill with what I thought was the flu - let it go too long and turns out I have pyelonephritis (kidney infection) which spread to my blood (septicemia). NEVER have I been so sick. We went to the ER that friday and I was admitted and stayed til Sunday - missed a whole week of work. Went back to work Monday still having flank pain and today broke down and went back to the urologist - to learn I most likely have another kidney stone lodged at the kidney - I'm having tremendous pain and doc said i'll likely end up back in the ER before they get test results back etc.
So I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop - waiting to have to endure the pain of another kidney stone.
I'm having a little personal self pity party tonight!
So anyway, reading your post was nice - it made me feel not so alone.

Oh my, qrlylox-I feel for you, too. I hope the other shoe never does drop. But, I understand the fear. Hang in there. This too shall pass for both of us. Thanks for your reply. I guess I just want to know I'm not alone or too crazy for feeling sorry for myself.

Here's to a good night's sleep for both of us (and everyone else reading this too!!!!!)