Sleep Apnea-General

Just talked to a few people about Sleep Apnea. They don't understand. They said any sleeping problems are psychological. I said, no if it was psychological, I would have troubles falling asleep. As a matter of fact I fall asleep in 20 seconds, so it's not psychological. I choke after 1.5 hours, in stage 5 sleep., I have no control. Why don't these people get it? Why do I wake up from it and others don't. My airways are blocked, something is wrong. It's 100% physical. I know people here understand and believe me. Anyway, they are doing another sleep study on me tonight. I got the equipment and I will wire myself up. Also, I'm scheduled for nasal surgery next month.

It's difficult for people who have not experienced something themselves to have a real understanding of it. I think that's true of anything in life.

Hawthorne wrote:It's difficult for people who have not experienced something themselves to have a real understanding of it. I think that's true of anything in life.

+1

And it's even harder for some people to admit that they can't really understand it. They can't even admit it to themselves. In their universe if they haven't experienced something or don't have something to compare it to then it can't really be true. Because if it is true then they feel bad because they are insecure and can't take not knowing something. Not knowing something or not being able to relate would only add to their insecurity and fragility. Then because of egotism (egotism is born from insecurity) they tell you you're crazy so they can ignore it and add a gram or two to their security in the very fragile belief that they are not stupid. The sad thing is that because of this constant cycle in their life they never accept (at least not in front of another person) that they could learn something and thus they remain ignorant (not necessarily stupid, though they don't know this). This ignorance then serves to perpetuate the cycle.

Either that or they really are incredibly stupid and really, truly believe that they know more about your condition than you and your doctor do even though they have never experienced it. But most people aren't that stupid.

Giantred,

I hope your new sleep study will shed some light on your condition. Please let us know how it goes. We can all learn from each other's experiences.

Bev

Giantred,

Good to hear that you are having another study, then you will have more information on which to base your therapy. No one understands my apnea either, not even my primary physician, who I plan to educate on the subject. He just told me, "Well, I'm tired too". The general public just doesn't get it. Of course there was a time when I didn't get it too, and didn't want to.....I didn't want to accept that I had apnea at first. But that didn't work out, and I would wake up in the middle of the night and suddenly sit up in bed, with my heart pounding like it was going to jump out of my chest. Cpap took some adjusting too, however no more gasping for breath or pounding heart at night! And I have much more energy. Good luck and stay with the program, you will do fine.

Georgio

You need to strongly suggest to your uneducated (dumbass) acquaintances that they need to do some searching and reading about "Sleep Apnea" on the Internet.......and become more "enlightened" about it.

I had never heard of it prior to 4 years ago, but since then it's getting more, needed awareness and publicity in the various media forms. That's how I started my education about it and this therapy......on the Internet.


Den

giantred,
Once you have the results for you sleep study, please share them with us.
Once you've got the updated date, use you "User Control Panel" (top left) and the "Profile" tab there to tell us what machine and mask you are using, and what your Rxed pressure is.

In you posts till now you seem to be combining sleep apnea and its results with the difficulties of starting therapy - and you sound overwhelmed by it all.

Everybody on this forum realizes that there is nothing psychological in having your airway collapse in when you're asleep. Everybody on this forum also realizes that choking instead of sleeping have very bad effects on your waking life - on all of it. Human psychology happens within a human body, and responds to it - even small problems look overwhelming when sleep is disrupted - and getting used to sleeping with a mask is not a small problem - at least for me it wasn't - and I've been here long enough to know that many are like me.

Please try to separate the uncontrollable effects of sleep apnea, from the difficulties of trying to learn to sleep with a mask strapped to your face. Many of us had to slog though those first weeks or months of frustration caused by having to learn this new way of sleeping. Many of us got very specific tips from members of the forum about how to handle their mask, how to set up their machines, what to do about the very specific problems that cropped up with their own equipment.

Take a piece of paper, draw a line through it lengthwise, call one column "Sleep Apnea" And the other "My Problems with the Therapy" and then fill those two lists. Look at the second, and start asking us specific question about all the things that bug you. Be very specific - it is the mask you have, the machine you have and the pressure it is set at that are giving you a hard time.

O.

Being misunderstood, especially by those we care about, hurts. I had a (very good) boss once who felt tardiness was a character issue. He had no concept of the misery I endured every night or what character it required to even remain reliable in my attendance.

Empathy is a not so common attribute. Maybe I'm making it too personal, but when one on the outside presumes to know more than the one on the inside, that can be an insult. But the offender probably has no idea. I have a friend who helped me with that. In my efforts to be helpful, I was making too many suggestions. One day she flat out told me that she didn't appreciate me thinking I knew better what was best for her than she did, and that she felt people's "you shoulds" belittled her own instincts and knowledge. I had no idea I was being offensive. I don't think I'm the only one who has found myself on both sides of this fence.

I guess we have to pick our battles on being misunderstood, as to when to try to "educate" and when to blow it off. Sometimes just asking, "And you base that opinion on what?" can make the point. On the subject of sleep disorders, yeah, it makes me want to scream when someone who sleeps normally assumes those who don't have only themselves to blame. Guess that's life.

kteague wrote: had a (very good) boss once who felt.

My boss made an interesting comment this morning when we were discussing my apnea and apnea in general: "I think EVERYONE has it. The difference is how bad."