Strange Relief

For some time there was this plan of a trip in March....it had been tossed around before I was diagnosed with OSA and got the CPAP. In fact, even though I was worried about how the split study had gone...I continued to talk with my parents that the trip was going to happen. But, then I got back from holidays and found the letter from the doctor and then got the CPAP (joining this forum in the in between).

Now, I'm still struggling with the CPAP, and now I have the added worry of taking my first trip with it. I just feel March is too soon, but I wasn't going to say so. Plus there's also the question of whether I could still afford to book a random flight in March, fitting it into my schedule with work, medical appointments and spring break....

But, today...in the rambling conversation with my mother....steering away from the stuff I don't want to hear (she's still on the bent that I just need to lose weight and I'll be cured.... Sure I've gained a little weight from 13+ years ago...when I used to drink to sleep, but I'm not overweight....I'm just not underweight anymore.) I brought the subject of the trip up again.

I had been looking at airline flights and my schedule and had an idea of some possible dates and times (plus I had gotten this limited time email about some even cheaper seats, etc.) But, my parents hadn't locked in their travel plans yet....not even sure it'll happen. (mom is having shoulder problems still, and it would mainly be a golf vacation. Plus the economy kind of sucks....plus there's the part where they put all their retirement in the stock market....they were tech heavy when the tech bubble popped, so no surprise that they were still in this time around. Of course, I haven't stopped listening to them on so called sure things. You should buy this stock now, because its so low that it can only go up now....well, its a 3rd of what it was then now...and no telling if they'll survive now.)

Anyway, after some discussion, it was decided to pass on the trip. They would rather I save towards a bigger future trip....possibly another cruise, even though last time they said it didn't feel like a real holiday because it was a cruise...and there wasn't cold or snow.

It's weird....when I go to Calgary for Christmas...the complain about the cold and snow....and the one time we don't do it, they complain that it wasn't Christmas, because there wasn't cold or snow. But it was too cold and too much snow this year....so they are talking of doing cruise again....this time Hawaii, because none of us have done it. There's a lot of places I haven't cruised, but not so with my parents.

Anyways, I kind of feel strangely relieved that I won't have to do this first trip now.

I still have the trip around the first weekend in May. But, I'm hoping to have adjusted the CPAP by then...and somehow the idea of going on a trip alone with CPAP is better than a trip where my parents will be around.

The Dreamer.

Now to see if I can mask and sleep with these aching sinuses.

Oh, you sound so bitter! Your parents are from another 'time', and are probably having a hard time adjusting to this one, especially when they've also had (I imagine) some trouble with cultural issues. Give them a little slack, consider that in their 'world' of the past (older people still see themselves as they were - or liked to remember they were - long ago) things were done differently, beliefs were different, and people reacted differently to situations. You're absolutely right in wanting validation for your ideas, and your feelings, but try not to be so hard on them... they can't help who they are any more than you can change who you are. When you're brought up being told "this and that" is the 'right' way to deal with things, to believe, it's very hard to see things differently, even when you want to 'be there' for your children, but I'm sure they do care, any maybe just don't know how to get 'here' from there.