Is all this really worth it?

I'll add some of my own thoughts & attitudes.

When I started I was really keen to eliminate the tiredness I started experiencing at work. It really got into me that if it got worse I would probably become unemployable - that was a downright panicky feeling. I DID NOT WANT TO LOSE MY GOOD JOB.

I was quite excited about the prospect of finding an apparent cure to the tiredness & really was super keen to get into the therapy

The 1st 2-3 months seemed like it was everything I hoped it would be & I was easily able to suppress the negative feelings that lurked in regard to wearing a mask & chinstrap etc: to bed & just doing the whole xPAP thing. But, those negative feelings remained lurking for about 2.5 years.

After several ups then slides down in effectiveness (over 2 years or so) I was sure I had a good set up - had chosen a bilevel & was sure it was the cure I sought. One good sign was that I was able to lose quite a bit of weight & felt more positive about life in general. THEN, I decided whilst well into losing around 20 KG (105 to 85 drop), that I no longer needed xPAP & stopped using it - after a week, decided it would be prudent to collect some SpO2 data just to be sure & was quite taken aback to see distinct desats. So back on to xPAP therapy. This stopping using it happened 3 or so times at around the 2-years to 2.5 years period. Each time despite exercising, despite losing weight, despite telling myself I was doing ok without it, the SpO2 data told a different story. Each time I was back on within a week.

Today I would not want to go a single night without the config I now use. I no longer think about how annoying it can be, the need to keep my job (a job I really like a lot) leaves no doubt about the value the machine is to me.

I now feel quite sorry for anyone who gives up xPAP and I have some good friends who have done so saying they are cured of it (I sincerely doubt they are). I carry this very contented feeling that I am doing something that I believe will keep me mentally alert & contented & expect to keep working into my 70s (less than 7 years away). Am expecting I will still be smiling to myself in 5-7 years & being so glad I got onto this life extending reality early enough to really benefit and that I purged from my attitude those self-destructive notions that I really didn't need this set up.

I am now pretty sure that in 10-20 years xPAP therapy will be a highly regarded way for lots of people to keep healthy and alert and comparatively happy and extend their working careers or life pursuits way beyond what they may have without xPAP once diagnosed. The wise ones all know that we don't generally improve our respiration as we get older but with xPAP support we have a serious aid available to do so.

I truly believe that the best event for me over the past 3 years was the day my ego dropped any notion of not needing xPAP therapy & switched from feeling uncomfortable about it to believing I am now among the lucky ones who stayed with it & that it works well.

DSM

I immediately looked 5 years younger in just 3 weeks of usage! I don't fall asleep anymore in the afternoon. FULL of energy now and have lost 42 pounds in just 3+ months.

Absolutely worth it.

Every second of frustration with the mask(until a few weeks with the right mask and you have to feel your face to see if its still on in the middle of the night)
Every rain out (until you wise up and get a heated hose)
Every cent spent (since now you are actually awake and likely earning the dollars again instead of wondering when you will be caught asleep)
My snoring is ZERO with the mask - a life back for my partner as well.
My memory is back. Energy is back. I feel bullet proof. Quality of life is back.

The mask? Its like brushing my teeth before I go to bed. Less hassle that you would ever think after a few weeks. In fact, I LOVE putting the mask on as it represents a relaxed and safe sleep to me.

For me, considering not wearing the mask would be literally the same as wondering if I should stop brushing my teeth to save a little time and cost.

There is no question at all for me, cpap all the way!

Glad you asked, Deadhead!

Most of the feelings and thoughts I have were mentioned by previous posters. It took awhile for me to feel better - a bit initially, more after 6 weeks and even more at 1 year. I have traveled and it hasn't been a big hassle (I wouldn't dream of *not* taking my cpap). My health has improved (and I also have multiple medical conditions). And best of all instead of feeling like charred toast by Thursday morning and getting little or nothing accomplished at work on Thursdays and Fridays, I now still have energy left over when I get home Friday evening

I don't think of it as "the hassle of wearing a mask for the rest of my life" - rather, it's feeling the best I can for the rest of my life and being able to do much more than sitting around collapsed!

Mindy

If I was asked this after my titration sleep study, I would have shouted 'you betcha' but after having my machine for three nights and feeling like crap the way I do right now, I wonder...

Hang in there! IMHO, 3 nights isn't a long time compared to however long you've been sleep-deprived. The only effect I had initially was that my brain was clearer but my energy levels didn't improve noticeably until about 6 weeks and it has continued over the past year. The process and the timing vary for each of us and *might* be at least partly dependent on 1) how long we've had sleep apnea and 2) what other medical problems we have.

Mindy

zaquon wrote:I've had a string of failed relationships including a divorce. I'm only 29 and after my last breakup I wondered if I'd ever figure out what's wrong me so I could have a normal relationship. Basically I'd meet someone and they'd see a happy, engaging person. But after a while, I'd let my guard down and they realize that I'm really dead inside. That happy and engaging person was only part-time. All the rest of the time, I wasn't there, just completely checked out with a sign on my forehead saying "Gone Fishin' ".

I've been on CPAP for 6 weeks. Last night I saw my ex-girlfriend for the first time in over a month an I was able to say to her: "I'm the person you fell in love with, not the person you broke up with, for good now". I don't know if there's any hope for us, but still, worth it.

_z

It sounds like you're in touch with your feelings and are off to a good start. My hubby likes the me he married almost two decades ago. I'm less grumpy, more tolerant, and much more. Best wishes on getting what your heart desires.

Thank you Babbette and Gasp. It's like a whole new world has opened up to me. I'm really hoping things work out. This girl's worth fighting for.

_z