A Note for Depressives

GrizzlyBear wrote:Colin,
...
my heart goes out to you and your children, and all those affected by this awful act.

Regards,

GrizzlyBear

mine too. So sorry.

Di

Colin --

Did they go to the same school? If so maybe the school will provide some counselling for the students. When ever a student dies at our school trauma team comes in and talks with the kids both as a group and as individuals.

My heart goes out to you and your daughters as this is so tragic!!

Grizzly --

Thank you for sharing -- your story is not an easy one and I am glad you shared it!! My thoughts are that your situation was -- is worse than mine. God bless you!!

If you ever get a chance to tour an old mental health facility I would suggest you do so. We have on old state mental health hospital that they have turned into a museum located about 3 hours away. My daughters and I took a drive last summer and toured it. Only one floor has been perserved as a mental hospital and the treatments that were used going back to the witches day to approximately the 1980's. Treatment options are so much better today it makes me glad that I live in the present. I was aghast to actually see some of the treatments my mother endured during her hospitalizations.

Thanks for all the support.

My girls are 14 and 16, their friend was 15. They all went to the same primary school, a very small school with under 100 kids in total, so they all knew each other well. They were at different high schools, but were still in contact with each other, mostly by cellphone and internet. Mine are boarding, so I'll go into town and visit them this afternoon and take them home if they aren't up to staying.

Colin

p.s. Sorry I hijacked your thread Grizzly, it just happened that I got the message as I weas reading it, and I posted while still in shock.

Wow, this thread sure helps me put things in perspective. I can't imagine facing horrific situations starting at a place of depression (and under the effects of OSA). What a testimony to the strength of those who feel they are weak!

Overall, I have enjoyed life and believe life is good even though it is sometimes hard. The times I have struggled to maintain that optimism were clearly situational depression, and/or medication/health influenced. I can't imagine having that dark struggle every day of life.

There was a period of time in my early 20's when the darkness almost won. With 5 year old and 2 day old daughters, I had to face the murder of my husband. Even now I say to myself, "Yeah, well, people lose someone all the time. It's just a part of life." But I faced this with intense post-partum hormonal effect, and heavily medicated by well meaning doctors. There were sleeping pills, wakeup pills, nerve pills, pain pills. The hardest part to live with was the regret that our last words were an arguement, and my words hurt him deeply. My words caused him to alter his schedule that day, otherwise he would have been at the hospital with me at the time it happened. The regret was nearly unbearable, and I came frighteningly close to doing things unthinkable in my normal state of mind. I was suicidal and homicidal only briefly, but it took at least a couple years to not feel a magnetic pull to drive off every bridge or speed into each passing pole on the highway. But I had made a decision that I wanted the girls and I to live, and to live a good life. And I had rehearsed that life statement, so when the dark compulsions appeared, I was able to say, "These are not my feelings, as they are not in line with my choices for my life. They are of another influence and have no place in my present or future." Someone had told me once that you can't stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop it from building a nest in your hair. Being intentional about reining in the negative thoughts was necessary to my emotional healing.

Blessings to those who have chosen to be transparent and thus vulnerable. I'm guessing someone will read this thread who will feel less alone in their struggles, and will find hope in stories of "how I've got over".

ColinP, I suggest you limit the detailed exposure your children have to your current situation. Images imbedded in the mind are not necessary nor are they beneficial in any way.

Kathy

Colin,

I like to think that we are here to help, albeit in a very limited way. Anyway, as the consequences of this awful business could involve depression, it is undoubtedly within the scope of this thread - not, in such circumstances, that it would worry me if it wasn't.

If you are able, or if you need, please keep us posted.

Kathy has a good point. While honesty is to some extent necessary, too much honesty can be destructive - at least the stuff of nightmares, and possibly in people prone to it also such outcomes as depressive cycles.

Please tread with care, and seek professional advice. Even though the girl who was shot came from a different school, your girls' school would still have an interest in at least directing you to someone who could help.

Of course, kids can also be incredibly resilient - but at their age, one wouldn't want to bank on that too much.

Regards,

GrizzlyBear