It's time for cpap haiku

BuffaloAl wrote:


Vous etes une fille?
ou est-ce qu'ils habitent?
Amie-vous mon tube?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Linda,

I don't understand french either, but judging from the looks of it, it says:

You eat until full?
You have quills in your habitat?
Amy likes Monday T.V.


Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's it....

Exhausted was I
Falling asleep all the time
Snoring bad all night

Snorting and tossing
Why can't I sleep through the night?
Sleep but not rested

Exhausted by day
Fitful sleep during the night
Can't ever seem right

Sleep all through the day
Behind the wheel, at the job
Nap any old time

So I go to the doc
Doc, tell me what have I got?
I feel like I'm dead

So, guess what he said!
Bet you have sleep apnea
It's why you can't breathe

You should get tested
Was what the doctor told me
Goodness, what is this?

So soon off I go
To a sleep study center
For a night of fun

With wires on my head
Wires from my head to my foot
God how dumb I look

So bundled with wires
Put to bed and told to sleep
Got to be kidding

So try as I might
To sleep like this through the night
What a frightful sight

If that weren't enough
They put a mask on my face
Then said I should sleep

Right. You try it guy!
Then I close my eyes and try
Thinking why oh why

I woke in a flash
After I opened my mouth
To hear quite a rush

A sound so bizarre
Like an alien from Mars
Darth Vader, oh my!

I soon shut my mouth
To keep the aliens out
And the good air in

Let the fun begin
I sleep the rest of the night
Or so they have said

I'd rather be dead
Than another night like this
This crap better work!

A fun fitful sleep
With many masks that all leak
It's relief I seek

I am up at dawn
I was plugged in all night long
Please can I go now?

Happily unplugged
I greet the bathroom with glee
And happy to pee

So ended my test
Now I wait for the results
Can't wait for the Doc

Yes, you've got it bad
How much insurance you have?
But why do you ask?

You need this machine
That will shove air up your throat
A script the doc wrote

For cpap and mask
And kiss your love life goodbye
Come back in six months

So it's home I go
Soon I'm hooked up, here I go!
I put this on where?!

My face? Are you sure?
Thought it was all just a joke
For real? I wear this?

Oh so what the heck.
I am praying for relief
To hell how I look

So with hope I sleep
And I pray my soul to keep
And hope for the best

I dream for success
And hope I wake up refreshed
And sleep through the night

Breathing with machine
Better than no breath at all
Sleep deep through the night

Awake in the day
I'm bright and smiles at the wheel
Gosh how good I feel!

May struggle a bit
But I can't wait to be fit
And live a good life



Linda,
who gave it the old college try,
thanks to Buffalo Al

Vous etes une fille?
ou est-ce qu'ils habitent?
Amie-vous mon tube?

Translation:

You etes a girl?
Or do they live?
You girlfriend my tube?

wading thru the muck! wrote:Vous etes une fille?
ou est-ce qu'ils habitent?
Amie-vous mon tube?

Translation:

You etes a girl?
Or do they live?
You girlfriend my tube?

hahahaha!

BuffaloAl wrote:


Vous etes une fille?
ou est-ce qu'ils habitent?
Amie-vous mon tube?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
neversleeps wrote:

Linda,

I don't understand french either, but judging from the looks of it, it says:

You eat until full?
You have quills in your habitat?
Amy likes Monday T.V.


Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's it....

__________

wading through the muck! wrote:

Translation:

You etes a girl?
Or do they live?
You girlfriend my tube?
______________________________


Well now it makes perfect sense....

It means:

Are you a girl?
Where do you live?
Do you like my hose?

But in French it's 5,7,5 syllables. And it sounds better.

BuffaloAl wrote:It means:

Are you a girl?
Where do you live?
Do you like my hose?

But in French it's 5,7,5 syllables. And it sounds better.

Wow, that's cool!
You're my hero!


Linda

Hmmmm,

Looks like I really said

Are you a girl?
Where do THEY live?
Do you like my hose?

Oh those tricky pronouns. Should have been Ou est-ce que vous habitent? That should clear things up.

Linda, for someone who didn't know a haiku from a yoohoo, you have told a truly poetic story about this absolutely unpoetic thing.

Some of your lines were just perfect.
" My Face? are you sure?
Thought it was all just a joke
For real? I wear this?

This encapsulated my entire cpap sleep center experience.

I almost thought, "ok I'm on candid camera. They got me to put it on. Pretty soon Allen Funt is going to come through the door and we'll all have a good laugh."

Wow that was it! My 50th post! At this rate I should reach 1000 on Sept 2, 2007.

Math, haiku, and French
They are all so poetic
Except for the math





Ummmmm. Where are the fireworks?

GREAT thread!!! What a hoot!

Here's my shot...


Gosh! I'm not snoring!
No more chainsaw cracks from John
Spouse loves his "hose head."

MarquisdeStyle wrote:GREAT thread!!! What a hoot!

Here's my shot...


Gosh! I'm not snoring!
No more chainsaw cracks from John
Spouse loves his "hose head."

Cool!! They don't call you "style" for nothing! You got style!


Linda

Cartographer? Close
Encounters of the 3rd kind
This is how I think

You need to see it
French guy was in charge, you hear
da DA da dum da

What is this strange shape?
Could it be in Wyoming?
Let's go there and see

There's a scary part
Do you remember the boy?
Turn's out he's OK

BuffaloAl,

....you nut!



L.

My hose snorts loudly,
And gurgles in a frenzy,
time to dump the hose.

Everything is set,
No more leaks this time around,
Damn, my nose itches.


So, the mask comes off
I scratch the itch on my nose
Rain-out washes me.....

Say John,

Great haiku. And great idea for Part II of sleep apnea haiku.

Perhaps we'll call Part I as "Sleep Study Haiku" and Part II as "Pap Haiku." Part III? How about "Pap Happy Haiku"?


Linda,
haiku .... bless you!