Words, words, words

BuffaloAl wrote:Great list

but how could they omit " Government Intelligence" or even " Large Shrimp"

Actually, after that list, someone responded with more, including the Military Intelligence one:
Military Intelligence
Extensive Briefing
Detailed Summary
Visual Basic Programming

Funny sentences

-On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

-In a cementery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

-Dry cleaner's Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULT.

-Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

-A laundry room in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

-Airline office:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS

-An advertisement by a Hong kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS

-hotel in Japan:
COOLS AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

-On an Athi River Highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

-From the " Soviet Weekly":
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCUPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS.

-Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

-A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

-Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

-A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

-Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

-Hotel Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMERMAID.

-On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

-Hotel Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Today's Word:
(from Word.A.Day website)

adduce
(uh-DOOS, uh-DYOOS) verb tr.

To offer as evidence; to offer something as proof.

[From Latin adducere (to bring forward), from ad- (towards) + ducere (to lead), Ultimately from Indo-European root deuk- (to lead) that led to other words such as duke, conduct, educate, duct, wanton, and tug.]

"Before passing judgement, Phumaphi told the accused that evidence adduced in court linked him to the murders." Mogomotsi Moloi; Man Convicted For Double Murder; Mmegi (Gaborone, Botswana); Apr 19, 2005.

LDuyer wrote:adduce
(uh-DOOS, uh-DYOOS) verb tr.

To offer as evidence; to offer something as proof.

Also... the card you least want to draw when high card goes first.

Liam, poker shark.

Ever heard of this one?

scry
(skry) verb intr.

To predict the future by crystal-gazing.

[Shortening of descry (discover), from Middle English descrien, from Old
French descrier (to call or cry out), from dis- + crier (to cry out).]

"Spend enough time scrying a glass bowling ball and your self knowledge
and universal understanding will expand faster than the federal budget
deficit."
Pitt Dickey; Great Crystal Bowling Balls of Fire!; Up & Coming Weekly
(Fayetteville, North Carolina); Oct 20, 2004.

"Also, the Reserve Bank will release its quarterly Statement on Monetary
Policy, which the market will scry for clues on the timing of possible
rate rises."
Stocks' 10th Day of Gold; The Daily Telegraph (Sydney, Australia);
Nov 8, 2004.
[A Word.A.Day website]

Herd of Buffalo Disrupts Traffic in Md.

31 minutes ago U.S. National - AP



PIKESVILLE, Md. - A herd of buffalo somehow got loose and wandered around an upscale neighborhood Tuesday, disrupting traffic and alarming homeowners before officers managed to corral them in a tennis court.


More than a dozen police cars and a police helicopter were used to herd the roughly 10 beasts, authorities said.


"Somehow they figured it out; I've got to give a lot of credit to the creativity of our officers," police spokesman Shawn Vinson said.


The officers used lounge chairs beside the tennis court as shields and formed a human chain to corral the wayward buffalo. One buffalo was seen leaping over one of the tennis nets in an effort to evade capture.


The animals came from a farm in Stevenson, nearly three miles away, Vinson said. They were returned to the farm later in the day.


Residents in Pikesville, a Baltimore suburb, first reported that buffalo were meandering along the road about 7 a.m.


Police shut down several major traffic arteries, including a section of the Baltimore Beltway, while they tried to anticipate which way the buffalo would roam.


Officers eventually managed to maneuver the buffalo onto the tennis court about a mile from where they first were spotted.


*** From BuffaloAl-
Technically, they were "Bison" not "Buffalo". But what the heck. Buffalo in Lindaland? This must be a sign!

BuffaloAl wrote:
*** From BuffaloAl-
Technically, they were "Bison" not "Buffalo". But what the heck. Buffalo in Lindaland? This must be a sign!

Very funny, BuffaloAl ---

Did you escape from Baltimore on your last trip here? .... Maybe..YESTERDAY?!?

Lindaland.
At first I hated it, fella.
Then I started to like it.
Lindaland, where all the fun is!
All rides and excitement! ..........


Linda,
frolicking in Lindaland.....

You can blame this post on Mikesus. It's all his fault. He was reminding me of Stephen Wright's humor, and it had been quite some time since I'd heard any of Wright's stuff. Wright is such an amazing comedian, a master of the absurdities of vocabulary. So I couldn't resist posting some:


Stephen Wright jokes:

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Do fish get cramps after eating?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic?"

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

"If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?"


Actually, this wasn't so much funny to me as it was something I'd always wondered. Like he said, if the universe is everything, how can it expand? It's hard to imagine the universe being everything. But I guess as life form, we only imagine things having a beginning and an end. Hard to imagine something never-ending.

Linda,
who must have had too much hooch this weekend

OK, how often have you used THIS phrase?

dipsy doodle
(DIP-see DOOD-l) noun

1. The zig-zag motion of a ball in baseball or of a player in football.

2. An act performed to evade or distract.

[Perhaps from baseball or football.]

"`It would take a rather wild turn of events to keep it off the East
Coast. ... It would have to do some kind of dipsy doodle,' says
hurricane center forecaster Jack Beven."
Jack Williams, Hugo Turns Eye to East Coast, USA Today, Sep 20, 1989.
[A Word.A.Day website]

I've not heard this one before....

hellkite
(HEL-kyt) noun

An extremely cruel person.

[From Middle English hell (a place of misery) + kite (a person who preys
on others).]

"So the old hellkite, Charlie's ex-wife Sarabeth, is in for a surprise
visit in the middle of her holiday dinner."
Janet Maslin, One Cold Night of Broken Neon and Shady Dives,
The New York Times, Nov 6, 2000.
[A Word.A.Day website]

LDuyer wrote: OK, how often have you used THIS phrase?

dipsy doodle

My family uses this phrase all the time! Honest! It came from a song my dad used to sing all the time from one of his big band records.

The Dipsy Doodle
Tommy Dorsey

The dipsy doodle is the thing to beware
The dipsy doodle will get in your hair
And if it gets you, it couldn't be worse
The things you say will come out in reverse
Like "You love I and me love you!"
That's the way the dipsy doodle works.

You can't eat, you can't sleep. You go crazy.
You're just a victim of the dipsy doodle
And it's not your mind that's hazy
It's your heart that's at fault - not your noodle.

You better listen and try to be good
And try to do all the things that you should
The dipsy doodle will get you some day
And when it gets you the things you will say
Like the moon jumped over the cow - hey diddle!
That's the way the dipsy doodle works.

Wow, neversleeps!!!

That was fantastic! I had never heard of that song. You can bet I'll be asking my dad about that one. (he's a musician and lover of big band music) I'll have to track down that song to hear it.

I love the lyrics of it. Such an interesting song and use of the phrase.

Thanks sooo much!
I'm indebted to you!


Linda

Today my father mentioned this word, and for the life of me I didn't understand what he meant by it. I don't think he really knew, but he said it had something to do with a letter. So, I looked it up. Anyone ever use this word?

epistle
SYLLABICATION: e·pis·tle
PRONUNCIATION: -psl
NOUN: 1. A letter, especially a formal one. See synonyms at letter. 2. A literary composition in the form of a letter. 3. Epistle Bible a. One of the letters included as a book in the New Testament. b. An excerpt from one of these letters, read as part of a religious service.
ETYMOLOGY: Middle English epistel, from Old French epistle, from Latin epistola, from Greek epistol, from epistellein, to send a message to : epi-, epi- + stellein, to send

A.Word.A.Day--

gordian
(GOR-dee-uhn) adjective

Highly intricate; extremely difficult to solve.

[In Greek mythology, King Gordius of Phrygia tied a knot that defied all who tried to untie it. An oracle prophesied that one who would undo this Gordian knot would rule Asia. Alexander the Great simply cut the knot with one stroke of his sword. Hence the saying, "to cut the Gordian knot" meaning to solve a difficult problem by a simple, bold, and effective action.]

Today's word in Visual Thesaurus.

See what the Mathematical Association of America has to say about untying the Gordian knot.

"Fortunately, the FBI has a team of good-looking, well-dressed, super-smart agents to untangle this Gordian plot."
David Chater; TV Choice; The Times (London, UK); Apr 24, 2004.

An ad in a recent issue of a trade journal touts the efficacy of the product very forcefully. The graphic shows the classic maze scene complete with a rat and a piece of cheese in one corner. In the traditional experiment, the little animal is supposed to find his way through the maze, backtracking, remembering the paths already taken, and ultimately reaching the reward. Instead, in this scene, he zooms across the diagonal, turning to dust those parts of the maze that are in his way, and claims the prize he richly deserves. I think that was a perfect illustration of the idiom cutting the Gordian knot.

Can you think of a Gordian knot or two you could cut in your own life, at work or at home? This week we look at that and other allusions and metaphors.
-Anu Garg