How to convince someone to use cpap!!!!

painterman · Post by **painterman** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 11:18 am

My brother in law is here visiting and to make a long story short he says he has sleep apnea. He hasn't had a test but his doctor who operated on him twice for different reasons says he has sleep apnea and needs to do something about it. He has not had a sleep study, but his wife has witnessed all the signs of osa.

He says he does not want to use a machine.

Is there an article that would be convince him to check into it more seriously?

I think I need to scare him into checking it all out. I don't think he understands the seriousness of it even though I have told him all the negatives of osa. Please help with any advice on how to help him understand.

Jon

Goofproof · Post by **Goofproof** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 1:18 pm

Ask him if he would mind that you take a life insurance policy out on him payable to you. Maybe we could start a Hose Head fund and pool our extra money, to get the ins, payable to us. We'd probably get a better return than on the money market rates.

Seriously, people are fools, you can't help someone who's in De-Nile, and doesn't want help. Some people are too busy dying to live. Jim

Wulfman... · Post by **Wulfman...** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 1:32 pm

painterman wrote:My brother in law is here visiting and to make a long story short he says he has sleep apnea. He hasn't had a test but his doctor who operated on him twice for different reasons says he has sleep apnea and needs to do something about it. He has not had a sleep study, but his wife has witnessed all the signs of osa.

He says he does not want to use a machine.

Is there an article that would be convince him to check into it more seriously?

I think I need to scare him into checking it all out. I don't think he understands the seriousness of it even though I have told him all the negatives of osa. Please help with any advice on how to help him understand.

Jon

It's either a PAP machine or some more "serious" types of machines.....think respirators, dialysis, etc. (sooner or later)
Do they have children?....grandchildren? Chances are he won't be around as long as he'd like to be to share time with them.
Some people's egos overrule their common sense.

There are lots of links to articles in the "Our Collective Wisdom" (Yellow lightbulb). Also, just doing a search on Apnea on the Internet will yield lots of info.

This has been one of my favorites: (take out the spaces after you copy into your browser) I believe it's also in the "Our Collective Wisdom".

h t t p : / /www.psywww.com/resource/selfhelp/sleep.html

Den

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 5:32 pm

If you think that it's appropriate to broach the subject with him, you could point out that sleep apnea diminishes the sex drive, can cause erectile dysfunction, and loss of morning erections. There are posts by men (and women) on this site about this subject. I've seen one hilarious post at apneasupport.org forum.

Just a thought.

snoregirl · Post by **snoregirl** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 7:30 pm

Good luck, I have so far lost this issue with my brother.

RAINSUX · Post by **RAINSUX** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:35 pm

This article convinced my sister to be tested:

cpaptalk-articles/sleep-apnea-prevalenc ... enemy.html

This is a message I got from her last week when I asked how it was going:

I'm sleeping fantastically well! So much better than before. I really
appreciate (and YOU'D better appreciate the comment--you won't get it
frequently!) that you bugged me to go to the doctor. Now don't take this
as a precedent

There are plenty of other articles if this one doesn't do it.

I'd sure rather sleep with a machine, which I'm totally used to doing, than be dependent on pills later. Maybe the guy just LIKES to feel bad!

Sam

Slinky · Post by **Slinky** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:50 pm

Careful! Some people, the more they are pushed, the more determined they become to NOT do what is being pushed on them!

azaloune · Post by **azaloune** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 9:11 pm

My suggestion is, make the conversation as casual as possible. Ask them why they didn't persue treatment.

Sequoia's original reason was, OSA was the "diagnosis of the month" thing. You never heard about sleep apnea a decade ago. He asked for information that someone had died from OSA or from something that could have been avoided if the OSA had been treated. I found the perfect one for him.

Jerry Garcia (from The Grateful Dead) died from illnesses and conditions that were caused by UNTREATED Sleep Apnea. Being a DeadHead, he related to this.

It started the research wheels moving, and he asked his Dr about a sleep study. His Dr said he didn't need a sleep study, he needed to be medicated, with antihistamines, to get a good nights sleep. Nevermind that the complaint he had (snoring) was not made better by drugging him. He changed Dr's and the rest is history.

The new Dr is more interested in the why, not just, treat the symptoms you tell him about. (I know, he is the Dr for about half my family including me)

dieselgal · Post by **dieselgal** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 9:42 pm

There is an old saying "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" This is very true. You can tell him what you know but after that I would not beat him with the evidence. As a grown man you can't make his decisions for him.
I personally got to the point that I was getting no sleep and I was so tired that I was actually hoping they would find that I had apnea because if that was the problem I would have a hope of finding some help and getting some sleep. That is when you KNOW someone has a problem....when you HOPE they find apnea and get a chance to wear the mask and get a chance to sleep. I was at the point that I didn't care how it looked or how silly I felt in it. I just want some truly restful sleep.
It has helped and on many nights now I do get some restorative sleep.
Thank you lord!

Tell him what you know then its up to him.

goose · Post by **goose** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 10:05 pm

Yup -- you can take a horse to water, but don't forget what a wet horse smells like......

Gentle prodding....
I'm dealing with a wife in denial, so I know what you're going through.....

Good luck!!!!

cheers
goose

Daddysaur · Post by **Daddysaur** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 10:41 pm

What a great business plan. Start with GoofProof's insurance idea and then Slinky's followthrough. Insure them and then pester them to go to the doctor. The pigheaded ones will make you rich. The smart ones will get a sleep study.

extremeliver · Post by **extremeliver** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 11:21 pm

I think finding a really good article to scare him is a great idea.

I knew I had apnea for a couple of years before I finally got treatment. It wasn't until my regular doctor scared me enough that I got the sleep study done.

I needed to be convinced that I could DIE from what was happening to me at night. Only then did I finally take the plunge. I have never regretted doing so, just waiting so long.

The other thing you can do in addition to giving him information is to simply share from your heart what OA treatment has done in your life. Good lucl!

ozij · Post by **ozij** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:29 am

Jon,
I've taken some liberties with your post -here goes:

he says he has sleep apnea
his doctor says he has sleep apnea and needs to do something about it.
his wife has witnessed all the signs of osa.

I have told him all the negatives of osa.

It doesn't seem to me that he doesn't know what he has to know as far as OSA is concerned.

In spite all of the above knowledge, your brother in law will not do anything about his apnea, and we even know why:

He says he does not want to use a machine.

Did you ever ask him - in a truly interested, non - arguing way why he doesn't want to use a machine?

Does he have all the info he needs about the nitty gritty of sleeping with a machine?
Info like:
How does it sound at night?
How does a mask look and feel?
How will it affect his wife?
How will it affect his sex life?
How long does it take to get used to the damn thing?

Could it be that using the machine is very concrete way of admitting his imperfection, his age or his mortality?

Could it be that using a machine at night could make him feel even more vulnerable than he already does?

Or, on a far more blunt, (not existential level) could it be that he is already suffering from sexual dysfunction, and feels a machine is final proof of his incapacity?

And finally, are you friends enough with him to talk about these things?

O.

Wulfman... · Post by **Wulfman...** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 9:44 am

Is he one of those tough, macho-type guys who ain't gonna get hooked up to no G.D. machine?
You might mention Reggie White (football player) who died from OSA.

Does he have a job that might be in jeopardy if he falls asleep at work?
Has he had incidents of falling asleep at the wheel of a vehicle? (or come close to it?)
The family could make it a point not to travel with him if he's driving.
How many times does he go to the bathroom at night.
Does he have high blood pressure? Type 2 diabetes? Other health issues?

My momma always used to tell me......"Stupid is as Stupid does.".

Den

Mask

How to convince someone to use cpap!!!!

How to convince someone to use cpap!!!!

Re: How to convince someone to use cpap!!!!