Fear of Sleeping?

Perchancetodream · Post by **Perchancetodream** » Mon Aug 13, 2007 9:04 pm

I've already learned so much here that I am hoping someone may be able to help me with this one.

For as long as I can remember I have had a hard time falling asleep at night, regardless of my daytime activities and the general state of my health. I have tried all kinds of things and only Ambien provided any help, and that was minor.

On the night after my sleep titration I realized that I was afraid to fall asleep because I feared that I would stop breathing and fail to wake up.

Then I started wondering if I had subconsciously feared the same thing for years. Almost like my body knew that it quit breathing and didn't want me to sleep.

Anyone else experience this, or am I just sleep deprived and looking for connections?

Susan

kteague · Post by **kteague** » Mon Aug 13, 2007 9:38 pm

Hi. I don't think you're too off base, although there can be any number of causes for insomnia. Others have discussed feeling that their staying awake was a a subconscious survival mechanism. Another member that goes by collegegirl has said something simliar. When I was having dying dreams I would stay up sometimes a couple days until I collapsed from sheer exhaustion. I rarely went to sleep very long, but rather catnapped around the clock.

If your insomnia is a fear of stopping breathing, effective cpap treatment will hopefully eliminate any felt need to stay awake. In my case, the years of nearly always being almost awake has been a hard habit to undo.

If after getting used to your treatment you still have trouble sleeping, your doc may want to look for possible other causes.

Best wishes.

Kathy

davjan4 · Post by **davjan4** » Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:16 pm

I too have recently acquired a fear of goin gto sleep. Just the past week really. I did a trial of autoapap and it did not help my apnea. The machine is back at the dr. office. My follow up is next week. I'm sure they will want to schedule another sleep study.
Objectivley, ther eis no reason to fear sleep. I've always woke up so far, right. But it ;s still there. So I sty up until I collaspse from exhaustion and Sonata that I take. The Sonata really helps. At this point I don't know what I'd do without it, since my apnea happens seconds after I go to sleep and then I wake up gasping.
So what to do? I don't know. So I stay up. Read. Watch TV. Go outside and watch or take pictures of stars and try to forget my fear. Then collapse.

drummergirl410 · Post by **drummergirl410** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:54 am

I hope things get better for you dav!

I also have experienced some sleep related anxiety since I was diagnosed. I became more aware of when my apnea's were happeniong. It also took a couple months from diagnosis to starting APAP in my home. In between, I often wondered what damage the apnea could be doing while I was waiting... waiting to hear from the sleep study, waiting to go back to toe doc. waiting to get the appointment for my titration study, waiting for the result of that, waiting for the follow-up with the doc, waiting for the machineto be brought out. IT was a whole lot of wqiting and I wasn't the most patient of people because of my concerns. Then I got my APAP and all was well! I had to sleep one night without it and the concern came back very quickly, even for one single night I was afraid to sleep without it! I don't want to be without my APAP ever again!

ScottK · Post by **ScottK** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 9:00 am

I was also afraid to fall asleep before I was on CPAP. Maybe it was a survival instinct, afraid that falling asleep, I may not wake up. I spent most nights in front of the TV, and if I dared to sleep, it was always in the upright position. Thank god for the TV, as it was my constant companion, helping me through the night. For some odd reason, I feared falling asleep when it was still dark out, because I didn't want to die in the dark. The only time I really let myself fall asleep was when the sun was just coming up.

I have been on CPAP for 60 days, and I am sleeping in a bed, every night, getting an average of 7.5 hours every night, some days I even have slept up to 11 hours! I am feeling better, still somewhat tired on days, but noticing improvements every day. But the best part is I don't fear sleeping anymore. That is the best part. It does get better. Best wishes for everyone that has felt that fear.

ZZZCPAPZZZ · Post by **ZZZCPAPZZZ** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:04 am

Before CPAP I was not afraid of going to sleep, but of waking up and not being able to breathe. I would actually jump out of bed and have to force myself to take a breath, it was very scary. I would swallow so much air trying to breathe normally that I would feel sick. Then I was terrified to go back to sleep.

davjan4 · Post by **davjan4** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 11:26 am

I've experience the forcing the first breath too. Scared the living you know what out of me. I just wish that my autopap trial would have worked. I really thought that it was supposed to make everything better. I was diagnosed a year a go and still don't have a solution, after finding out that a dental device offered no relief whatsoever, even according to the WatchPat results. It seems like my problems are more at the larynx level than upper palate for me. Someone said "thank God for TV". I say "thank God for Sonata and the unlimited amount of reading material available for late night wakefulness.

sydknits · Post by **sydknits** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:25 pm

Welcome Susan. I was relieved to see your post about being afraid to sleep and wondering if subconsciously your body may have known about your SA. I've been wondering the same thing for quite some time. I talked to my doc about it, she thought it was ridiculous. But when I asked how she would explain persistent and severe insomnia despite near-100% compliance with APAP for a year, as well as multiple bouts of heavy doses of antidepressents and sleeping aids that didn't help the insomnia either, she didn't have an answer.

I sometimes have very strong "intuitive" feelings that turn out to be accurate. I'm sure some would say they are coincidences, and some might be, but clearly not all of them. Few would argue that we use only a very tiny portion of the potential of the human brain, so why is it so far-fetched to believe that our brains are aware when things aren't working as they should?

Snoredog · Post by **Snoredog** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:00 pm

I used to fight that going to sleep all the time.

It is like when you have that hypnic jerk when transitioning from wake to sleep, that jerk would startle me right back awake. I'd have what seemed like a hundred of those before I'd ever get to sleep.

After having a diagnosis of OSA, I realized those were on-set sleep events, some of them probably even classified as on-set centrals. It made it difficult to fall asleep, I would always remember those when sleeping on my right side, I remember the night sweats, the rapidly beating heart, never seemed to remember those when sleeping on my back or left side.

I spend most of my time now sleeping on my left side or back but if I do fall asleep on my right side it no longer bothers me as I know the machine will prevent those events from occurring and it usually does.

Perchancetodream · Post by **Perchancetodream** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:09 pm

Thanks all for your input.

It seems like I have always "fought" going to sleep long before I was diagnosed with OSA. Even with Ambien I fight it. And have experienced that jerk that wakes me just as I am falling asleep.

As a matter of fact, it is the difficulty that I have had falling asleep, even when trying to take a daytime nap that made me think I couldn't possibly have apnea, that I must be just lazy!

I am so glad to find that it is a medical condition and not a character flaw.

Susan

drummergirl410 · Post by **drummergirl410** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:45 pm

Come to think of it, I almost always had that jerky motion just after falling asleep as well. Like you're falling and then suddnely realie you're on your bed. I hated that! It would make me become almost fullly awake and then I'd have to fall asleep all over again! Thankfully, I don't remember having done that once since I've started xPAP. I seem to be finding some little-realized benefits of it as time passes, and I'm grateful!

Fear of Sleeping?

Fear of Sleeping?

Insomnia & OSA

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afraid to sleep

forcing breath

Afraid to sleep too.

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