Creative Members: Help Me

roster · Post by **roster** » Fri May 04, 2007 8:04 am

OK, all you linguistically creative types, help me with this.

A bunch of my friends and associates know that I went to see the sleep doc again this week. I went because of air filling my stomach and then being passed on through.

They will be asking me soon why I went. To avoid embarrassment, I don't won't to tell them that my innards are being pumped full of air and I have to pass gas all night and half of the next morning.

I need a term to lay on them. Best I can come up with so far is machine-induced aerophagia. Surely you can help me with a term better and more elusive than that?

DreamStalker · Post by **DreamStalker** » Fri May 04, 2007 8:10 am

Just let a big one rip ... I'm sure they will get the message

OwlCreekObserver · Post by **OwlCreekObserver** » Fri May 04, 2007 8:14 am

How about Oppressus Inflatitus?

OCO

Catnapper · Post by **Catnapper** » Fri May 04, 2007 8:24 am

Hi rooster

I don't think your friends need to have specific information about personal issues such as why you went to the doctor. If you want to share that information, why not say you wanted to ask questions about the air pressure and how it affects your body? You could be more specific and say that you believe the increased air pressure affects your digestion or your metabolism. If they want to know the symptoms, and you want to tell them, say you swallow the air as well as breathe it. They can process that information on their own and make the choice to realize they don't want the rest of the information.

You could say it was just for a follow-up to be sure things are going well and that you have a great doctor who wants to know how you are doing.

If people ask personal questions you can ask them why they want to know. That usually makes them realize they have invaded your personal space.

I know there is a term for the way the throat malfunctions and allows you to swallow air, but I am sleepy this morning and am having lexical access problems myself. I believe I remember rested gal discussing this problem.

I guess you could just tell them you swallow the air and it makes you fart. That should make them back away. However, I have known men who would think that is a side benefit of cpap.

You could say the air ruffles your feathers, rooster.

roster · Post by **roster** » Fri May 04, 2007 8:29 am

[quote="Catnapper"]......................
I guess you could just tell them you swallow the air and it makes you fart. That should make them back away. However, I have known men who would think that is a side benefit of cpap.

You could say the air ruffles your feathers, rooster.

RosemaryB · Post by **RosemaryB** » Fri May 04, 2007 8:33 am

How about flatus inflatus? Or would that be inflatus flatus?

Rose

Wulfman · Post by **Wulfman** » Fri May 04, 2007 8:40 am

"Inflatius maximus" ?

I'm kind of with Catnapper here......why do your friends NEED to know?

Or, if you MUST tell them, how about the truth? Tell them that you're trying to deal with one of the adverse side effects that affects some of the CPAP users.....swallowing air. You needed to tweak your therapy settings and had to discuss it with your doctor.

Good luck.

Den

jasper · Post by **jasper** » Fri May 04, 2007 9:48 am

How about you went to Find A Respiratory Tech?

stages3n4 · Post by **stages3n4** » Fri May 04, 2007 11:17 am

In your best grumpy/testy manner, just glare at them and say "cause I'm tired of pretending I'm a d*** innertube every night" and let them draw their own conclusions.

Or, on that same line, tell them you had to have your PSI checked, of course, then they'll be thinking you are having prostate trouble...

tell them you have a malfunctioning stopcock and as such one of your organs is enlarged...

maybe aeroabdominalinduction...

Goofproof · Post by **Goofproof** » Fri May 04, 2007 12:00 pm

Tell them you went swimming in your kid's yard pool and blew all the water onto the lawn. Jim

Tell them, the Gas Company truck, woke you up at 5 A.M., trying to find a gas leak that was reported in the area.

-SWS · Post by **-SWS** » Fri May 04, 2007 12:06 pm

You can always truthfully say that you visited your sleep doctor to discuss "CPAP related discomfort". If they press for details and you don't mind explaining, then you might refer to aerophagia as being a common CPAP related complication.

Of course, if you're not in a mood to explain, then by all means don't.

Bonnie · Post by **Bonnie** » Fri May 04, 2007 1:32 pm

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

Here you go Rooster, evey thing you always wanted to know but never asked. There's even a section on about 1000 ways to say fart

justplainbill · Post by **justplainbill** » Sat May 05, 2007 6:17 am

If it is good advice you want, I would side with those who advise restricting such discussions to a "need to know" basis and that where there is either a need to know or a need to share that such discussions take place in calm, unemotive, everyday language.

However, you asked for ideas, not for advice. So here's some ideas:

1. For those occasions when you want to inform, alarm, and/or confound your listener(s) with an overly erudite, suitablly vague yet vaguely descriptive terminology, I would recommend this handy Quasi-Medical Hot Air Phrase Generator:

Category A (Choose up to 3): secondary, acquired, reactive, mechanical

Optional Pronoun: gastro-

Category B (Choose 1 or 2): respirational, inhalational, aerophagic, insuflatory, inspiratory, gastric, inspirational

Optional Scary Pronoun (1 only): super-, hyper-, over-

Category C (Choose 1, 2 if the second is "Syndrome"): discomfort, distress, distention, eructation, response, syndrome

This should generate a suitable number of sage-sounding phrases.

2. Or for the college-educated listener who appreciates elegant phraseology, may I suggest "respiratory oversufficiency"?

3. For plain-talking folks who also appreciate the elegant phrase, there is "excessive wind" (explaining both cause and effect(s) in a (forgive the phrase) single blow.

4. Finally, we might want a nickname that helps people understand and relate to this condition by relating to a public figure (along the lines of "Lou Gherig Disease" for ALS, "Elephant Man Disease," or "that disease that Michael J. Fox has" for Parkinson's Disease), may I suggest we adopt the term "Michelin Man Syndrome"?

Best wishes,
Bill

DreamStalker · Post by **DreamStalker** » Sat May 05, 2007 7:46 am

If you have a sound card on your PC ... you could go to help you practice here/hear

whatrdreamsmadeof · Post by **whatrdreamsmadeof** » Sat May 05, 2007 7:57 am

Tell them you put a cork in your bottom, and if released, well lets just say, "Who needs the Concord anyway"......good luck.........Ellen

Creative Members: Help Me

Creative Members: Help Me

rooster

Re: rooster

tell them