OFF TOPIC. I found my cat's diary.

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre

little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the

other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although

I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must

eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that

keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I

once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their

feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it

clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made

condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices

tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the

event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.

I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I

must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try

this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced

that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog

receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be

more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got

to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards

regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have

arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is

safe. For now...

Hi. That's cute! Did you write it or is it from a book? Reminds me of how in the movies a voiceover tells what an animal is thinking.
Kathy

A classic - Thanks for the laughs.

Regards,
Bill

That was great!

Thx for the fun. We all need some deviation from the all-too-serious side of CPAP.

It reminds me faintly of the Bunnicula books!

Karen

kathy said:

That's cute! Did you write it or is it from a book?

kathy
i don't know where this comes from originally, but when i received it, it also had the other point of view:

FROM A DOG'S DIARY
>Day number 180
>8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
>9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
>9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
>10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
>11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
>12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
>1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
>4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
>5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
>5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
>
>
>Day number 181
>8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
>9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
>9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
>10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
>11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
>12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
>1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
>4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
>5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
>5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

sharon1965

Some wag has also said, "Any cat, which could gain 50 lbs., would disembowel its owner and play with the innards while the owner watched and died".

Sign me,

rooster, natural cat hater

Sharon - Yep, that's a dog's life alright!

Rooster - Of course - the barnyard fowl wouldn't want to run afoul of the barnyard cat. Just like the cat knows the junkyard dog would claim one of its 9 lives. Guess there's a pecking order even among critters without beaks.

Thanks for the good laugh, Oceanpearl. I have one cat that probably would agree with that diary. I think the other two cats have me in captivity.

As they say -- dogs have owners; cats have servants.

Janna

kteague wrote:.................
Rooster - Of course - the barnyard fowl wouldn't want to run afoul of the barnyard cat. ................

I could still claw that sucker's eyes out.

In my younger days, my owner would take me deep in the woods of South Carolina and enter me in organized (illegal) cockfights. Now with this cpap therapy, I am getting my old fight back.