crying and frustrated

Misterdux,
If you continue to have times of snatching your mask off due to feeling like you can't get enough breath, you may want to verify that all of your settings are indeed therapeutic.
Kathy

d.vader wrote:Can mild sleep apnea really affect your life that much?

Yes it certainly can.

d.vader wrote: I went into the sleep study because I suffer from terrible migraines.

This is a very common side effect of sleep apnea. Those headaches are a result of lack of oxygen during the night.

d.vader wrote: I'm feeling resentful at the thought that I can never sleep like normal people do.

I think most of us feel this way at some point after being diagnosed. Once you start feeling better from the treatment though you'll be able to come to grips with it. Give it some time.

d.vader wrote: I'm depressed, forgetful, overweight with high blood pressure.

The good news is that with treatment all those things will very likely improve.

d.vader wrote:I'm just so frustrated and I'm not even sure if this is worth all this? I don't feel any different. I'm sleeping worse, not better.

Once you have some good nights from the treatment you will start realizing that its worth it. Post the problems you are having to this forum (like you did) and people will try to help out.

I encourage you to take charge of your treatment and learn as much as you can. Get software for your CPAP so that you can monitor your progresses and correct problems, etc. The sooner you solve all the little issues that come up the sooner you will start feeling better.

d.vader wrote: I feel like I'm so alone in these feelings.

I think a lot of us have felt this way because of this problem we have. I can assure you that you are not alone in feeling this way because of this illness.

Hang in there, we can all get though this together...

I am in my 4th week on CPAP... I begin to feel better after the second one!!

It is gradual... be patient... It will work and help you... Just give it a chance...

Eric

Hi,
After my post I went back to bed and attempted to put that darn mask on again, and I just couldn't do it. The straps on this mask go over my ears, and for some reason, if nothing else, I've learned that I do NOT like things going over my ears. So....I flung the mask on the nightside table and went to sleep. This morning.....I get the treat of waking up with a migraine again. A sign that this apnea thing has got to be somehow related to my migraine problem. I feel awful.
But also waking up and finding that so many people care and are willing to take the time out of their day to listen to me cry and complain is so touching, that makes me want to cry again! Thank you all for the advice and support. It is nice to hear from others that they've felt the same way, and the support to keep with it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
d. Vader

December 19, 2005 (Merry Christmas to *sob* me) I brought my CPAP machine home after meeting with the RT and hearing the results of my sleep study. Scary.. very scary. I cried, pouted, ranted, and raged while I set the %$@* thing up. I was completely exhausted by the time I got it adjusted and unable to strangle me in my sleep. Dec. 20th I woke up late - real late - about 10 am. I had not slept in in YEARS! My husband looked awful, but I felt great. He told me he could barely sleep all night because when he couldn't hear me breath or snore he kept waking up to check that I was still alive. LOL he says it took HIM weeks to adjust to my new sleep aid - forgetaboutme.

My father had terrible sleep apnea. I remember listening to him snore, stop breathing, then wait desperately for him to start again. I won't do that to my family. Also, I believe that his SA was the biggest contributor to his early death at age 74. He was the healthest, fittest, dead man I knew. I remember his doctor looking at me saying, "there is no reason for him to be dying." Looking back there was and that's why I'm going to keep using my machine.

That perfect first night gave me hope. It's not been all perfect since then. I've had some struggles and am still working on finding the right mask. BUT even with the challenges - I still get a better night's sleep on the worst night with my CPAP than I do without it. My next plan is to have my children tested, expecially the youngest who has the same facial construction as me.

Keep hanging in there vader! You're lucky to have found this forum. All the terrific adivce and experience is not to be matched. I only wish I had found it sooner!!!!!

I too have felt that I was seeing little change in my life for all the inconvenience of being hosed. I've been on treatment for 5 months now. It took me 3-4 weeks before I could make a full night on the mask. Even then, it was not a full night of sleep. It was a full night of fitful naps and plenty of urges to remove the hissing alien clawing at my face. But, I did notice gradually that I was not feeling as tired during the day. I no longer had overwhelming urges at 10:00 and 2:00 to take a nap. Then, I started remembering things. It's like my mind started functioning again. I do get quality sleep now.
That's still not the best part though. I caught a cold yesterday. There was no way I could breathe through my nose last night. So, I told my young bride of 35 years that if I started snoring and such, elbow me and I'll go to the spare room. Well, she tolerated me through the night. I slept poorly and feel like I'm wading through pudding today. It's not the cold. I'm addicted to the hose. I feel bad because I did not get my treatment last night. So, I guess it took a night of being off treatment to show me how far I have progressed in 5 months.
I don't have my summary with me but I can tell you I was diagnosed as mild. I was one event from being moderate....whew, so glad I didn't have that extra event.
Anyways, I guess my point is that you have to hang in there. Give it a real good go and you'll soon discover how much better you feel.
I really really miss spooning with my young bride though. The swift hisses and the exhaust blows right on her. So, we've given up one good thing and gained so much in health and good feeling during the day.
cajapato

[quote="Longhair"]December 19, 2005 (Merry Christmas to *sob* me) ...

...terrific adivce and experience is not to be matched. I only wish I had found it sooner!!!!!

But also waking up and finding that so many people care and are willing to take the time out of their day to listen to me cry and complain is so touching, that makes me want to cry again!

Gidday again Darth,

Just to encourage you, sometimes I feel like crying because I feel so good, and I didn't think I'd ever feel like this again, and it's thanks to cpap. Hang in there.

Peter

Everyones experiences are different and whatever keeps you going however minor or major is what u draw on to do it.

For me, I had no clue I had sleep apnea.. My Dr. only sent me because I had gain alot of weight recently and she was tired of me constantly complaining me being tired and waking everyday with a headache.

I've never had a problem sleeping thru the night with the whole gear on other then laying there thinking, god what crap is this... this is complete bullshit all masked up hooked up to some reverse vacuum cleaner hose thingy... BUT i've never woken up with another headache since the first night of use.. THAT keeps me using it. And after almost a full year of waking up every single morning with a headache, it makes it all worth it. Energy levels and stuff... God its been so long, I don't even remember what 'normal' is suppose to feel like.. hehehe I just keep plugging along and hope one day a light bulb will kick off and go wait a minute, u know what.. you feel damn good today! its working, its all working!!

Everyone's reasons/experiences are different and we all take different lengths of times to recover...

First let me say I have no advice for you. I am still about a week or two away from getting my machine. And I really feel crappy and dont know how I make it through the day.

What I really want to say is that I am overwhelmed at the support here on this forum and I know I will be leaning on you guys. Although my wife "strongly encouged" me to get myself checked out because I stopped breathing and my snoring, I am pretty sure she will not be too supportive. She hasn't even read one thing about sleep apnea and what it can do. I am afraid that as my apnea got worse we started fighting more and more. And I am now thinking that it may be remotely possible that I had something to do with the fighting. LOL I am hoping that xpap fixes marriages too!

Anyway stay close to the forum. I know I will. Stay strong.

KeziahsPurr, I'm not familiar w/your Resmed VPAP III machine, but I "think" it might be in the S7 series. Nor am I sure of just what data is available w/the VPAP III.

Go to cpap.com and do a search on VPAP III. Scroll down the page and you will find the software reader available for $30. Thus all you would need then is the software. I'm not sure of what version of the software the VPAP III uses. I'm sure others here who have a VPAP III can tell you what version of software you need and what data it provides.

Slinky,

It uses AutoScan software. I contacted the manufacturer and they said that they would sell only to DMEs. There is a company in Australia that sells the software, but they don't answer my emails. So I may be out of luck.

I have a follow up appt. with my DME tomorrow and I'll pose some questions to them. They're really great people and always willing to help....much like the folks here in this forum............only you guys are much more knowledgeable and understanding. Thanks for everything.

Understand that your DME can NOT sell you or provide you w/a copy of the software w/o endangering their supply of Resmed products. For them to do so is STRICTLY against Resmed's new selling policy effective 01 Oct 06.

That being said, if you are sure it is AutoScan 5.7 that you need, PM me and I can tell you where I obtained mine.

Hi,
I'm a newbie of two weeks and I feel like the black sheep because I actually LIKE the feel of the CPAP machine blowing air. It's soothing. I'm still not sleeping all night through at all (haven't done that except for one night when I was a child) but do find it comforting. Maybe it's the Hybrid Mirage Swift mask? Maybe it's now not having the fear that I might die in my sleep? Or now, I don't have to worry about waking up gasping for air?
Don't know but I'm happy about it! Hope it continues. So, to all who are new and struggling-try to wear your CPAP/BiPAP one-night-at - a- time. Great site folks! You are all extremely helpful.

I think my first post below and one of my recent posts tell a story about many of us:

by Georgio on Thu Aug 28, 2008 8:18 pm
Another One Bites The Dust (And is diagnosed with Moderate - Severe Sleep Apnea)...

My brief story: I'm 57 years old, a certified Life Guard, hiked 20 miles within the last year, and have tried to stay fit.
About a year and a half ago, I began experiencing unusual fatigue. Sometimes I found myself very sleepy driving home from work while in gridlock. I would often fall asleep as soon as I was home. I curtailed riding my motorcycle to work, because I didn't know if I would be able to ride it home at the end of the day. I didn't feel like myself and didn't participate at the same level in usual activities. My eyes hurt. My greatest fear was I was dying of something so I went to the primary care Dr. He did the standard lab screening and nothing. I insisted I was tired all the time, and my mother is battling sleep apnea. I then did one overnight study and was diagnosed with classic moderate-severe apnea. Next, another study night with a machine. They said I slept some....but I felt like I laid there all night using all my willpower to keep that mask on.

Months have gone by. Now I visit the equipment provider. They put me in a chair, strapped on some equipment and went through a list of directions. I went home and throw the equipment into the closet where it stayed a few weeks. I was in some kind of denial.....I can beat this.....I can't possibly need to sleep on a "machine".

I must have been feeling bad.....the severity seems to vary, but I tried the mask about 3 nights. It leaked like crazy when I tried to sleep on my side. Back in the closet.

I am laid off work. (I don't even want to think it's related.) Weeks go by. My memory fades, but I went back to the equipment provider. I got a smaller mask and was now able to roll over on my side without an automatic huge air gap.

I was able to keep the mask on a couple hours a night for a few days, and then would strip it off in my "sleep". Back in the closet.

Weeks go by. I'm suddenly feeling really bad, and losing all interest ( and ability) to do usual activities. My concentration is completely gone. I have difficulty formulating thoughts and speak in a very labored way.

OK. I enter the acceptance stage. I'm screwed and need to start fighting harder. Drag out the mask and clean up the equipment. Start a log of the hours that I'm actually asleep. Vow to keep the mask on all night.

Two weeks go by. Have worn mask for 11 nights. Got some sleep. Don't feel that great. They say there is a period that getting used to the mask and blowing air may keep you awake more, just when you need the sleep most. Like a double edge sword.

I ran into my neighbor yesterday. He just returned from a 7,000 mile motorcycle trip touring the western US! I told him I thought of doing that this summer while I was out of work, but, I was diagnosed with the sleep apnea, and wasn't up to it.

He told me, " I have it too". He has been on a machine for 6 years and took it with him on his trip. He said, "It saved by life"...but not before he suffered some health damage, and lost his wife and family before he figured out what was wrong. Obviously, he must be feeling a lot better, and gave me more hope.

I dread going to bed at night. I hate the machine. I have a hard time breathing with the mask and have a stuffy nose due to allergies. I take Fluticasone Propionate nasal spray & Sudafed PE sinus headache each night so I can breath through my nose.

I know you all have similar stories. Thanks for your interest, and any advice is valued. I particularly would benefit from any comments on the equipment I've been provided. I'm really new to this.

Thanks,
Georgio


by Georgio on Fri Jan 02, 2009 11:09 am
When I woke up yesterday, my breathing with the A-flex that I got from CPAP.COM was so natural, I didn't think the machine was even on!