Overcoming Dissatisfaction ("Woe Is Me") and Accepting?

Kabuto wrote: I'm simply trying to overcome jealousy of people who don't have this condition.

Obviously I count my blessings and know I still have it better than other people out there, and have things in my life I'm very grateful for. But still- the condition has been hard to accept for me. That I'm an innocent person who didn't ask for this diagnosis, but had it anyway....

For me, I put it off so long, and then was startled at how much it helped, and how much easier it was than expected. I even dreamt after my sleep study that I would hav eto wait 6 months, and I wanted it NOW. So, my brain was telling me, get me one of those!

I also remind myself that I could have far worse problems. I could also require some kind of treatment that I consider far worse. So, I don't feel any jealousy to those who don't have it. I am grateful that I am not hauling oxygen around or struggling with a wheelchair. To me, it is similar to money or other issues in life. I'm not rich. I'm not even financially comfortable. BUt I am fortunate to live in a house, I'm not struggling to buy food. I have an old car that needs repairs and has mental issues, but I'm not walking to work anymore. Or taking the bus. Just because things could be better, doesn't mean that they can't be worse. I will be grateful for what I have.

I'm only at the beginning of my sleep apnea journey, but working at a hospital I've come to learn that none of us are exempt from health issues and illnesses. Like everyone says, you're not getting "unlucky." We are all going to age and deal with sickness and old age. And I don't say this to be a pessimist- I just mean "woe is me" = "woe is EVERYONE". If you think with the attitude of "I didn't deserve this" I'm going to assume you don't mean to say that people with cancer are bad people who deserved it? Even the best people in the world can be dealt bad cards. We live in an age where it's no longer, "Will I get cancer?" rather, "Which cancer?"

Again I don't mean this to be pessimistic. I mean you just have to not take things as some sort of unfair punishment. But rather use your abilities to live your life to the fullest and move forward. All I do is think of the little kids who were born with congenital problems with the biggest smiles and attitudes. What's my excuse to complain? Of course we're only human and will complain. But if sleep apnea is the worst of your health problems, make the absolute most of what you have and take it as an opportunity to live life to the fullest. Easier said than done but that's how I look at it.

I grew up with a parent with SEVERE sleep apnea, undiagnosed. My father would snore loud enough to raise the dead, stop breathing for sometimes 15-30 seconds, and I thought this was just the way things were. He would come home from work at 3:45 and be asleep in his easy chair by 4pm until my mother woke him for dinner, after which he'd be asleep in the chair until my mother nudged him to go to bed (usually around 9). Lather, rinse, repeat. He was MISdiagnosed with narcolepsy and took Ritalin religiously for it, but to no avail. When he finally had a sleep study done in his late 50's, the diagnosis was clear -- the RT monitoring the study said he'd never seen a case so bad. When Dad got his Cpap, he said that was the best night's sleep he'd had in 40 years! But the damage was already done: COPD from years of smoking had wrecked his lungs, and hypertension and high cholesterol had weakened his heart, so even with proper treatment (religiously from the day he got it) for his apnea his life expectancy was shortened. He isn't here to watch his only grandchild, his pride and joy, my daughter, grow up. I inherited this condition from him, and I intend to see my daughter and MY future grandchildren grow up. I'm staying with Cpap so I can get the SLEEP I need to be the healthiest I can to achieve that.

Kabuto, I've read some of your other threads and see that you are 26 years old and were diagnosed in 2011, putting you at a very young age when first diagnosed.

What made your doctor send you for a sleep study? Were you having symptoms? Have you had another sleep study since then?

At your age you probably don't have a lot of friends with "chronic" conditions like hypertension or diabetes (or OSA) who can relate so it can feel pretty lonely. You certainly did nothing to "deserve" getting Sleep Apnea.

I like the advice given by another poster earlier that you treat yourself with kindness and compassion, as you would a good friend. This also means treating the apnea because that is the kindest thing you can do for yourself at this point.

I know it is hard, but you can do it! You are young and have many years ahead of you to enjoy your life, so don't let apnea ruin it for you.

Arlene1963 wrote:Kabuto, I've read some of your other threads and see that you are 26 years old and were diagnosed in 2011, putting you at a very young age when first diagnosed.

What made your doctor send you for a sleep study? Were you having symptoms? Have you had another sleep study since then?

At your age you probably don't have a lot of friends with "chronic" conditions like hypertension or diabetes (or OSA) who can relate so it can feel pretty lonely. You certainly did nothing to "deserve" getting Sleep Apnea.

I like the advice given by another poster earlier that you treat yourself with kindness and compassion, as you would a good friend. This also means treating the apnea because that is the kindest thing you can do for yourself at this point.

I know it is hard, but you can do it! You are young and have many years ahead of you to enjoy your life, so don't let apnea ruin it for you.

That early diagnosis is a good point. I imagine it is a lonely feeling at such an early age. If it's any consolation or just perspective , many of your peers might very well have undiagnosed sleep apnea as well. A huge population of people have it and don't know it. Just from reading stories on this forum some people went so many years without finding out what's wrong. The positive note is you found out early and can have a better quality of life being treated than those who might go on not living their life with quality sleep.

with the correct Mindset, after you get your treatment set up, XPAP is not as hard to deal with than getting a child proof cap off of a Aspirin Bottle.

Without the correct Mindset (Can't Syndrome), It can be like trying to open the vault in Fort Knox. Jim It's a personal choice how you want to live your life.

And, bear in mind that medical advances are happening all the time. Cpap is the standard treatment now, but who knows what will be standard in 10 years.

Kabuto wrote:I know that this can be said about life's hardships in general, and overcoming the 'woe is me' attitude tends to be helpful overall. Though I'm curious how people in the sleep apnea community tend to overcome and persevere. How do you guys overcome the disappointment regarding the condition, and learn to accept in the most positive way possible?

Accepting that something like this has happened to someone as kind and compassionate as me has proven to be difficult....

In your overall life's travel, OSA is just another bump on the road. If you live long enough you'll have many more "Woe is me" situations. I recommend you learn to expect and tolerate them. I wish my doctor had not restricted me to lifting no more than 10 pounds. I wish I could bend my back more than 10 degrees. I wish I could walk more than 100 feet without resting. I wish it was not necessary for my wife's current Hospice care. But, it all could be much worse. The good side is tomorrow is my 90th birthday!

I'm a pilot and when we fly in bad weather, a "Woe is me" situation for some, we must be concerned with the plane's attitude -- keep the wings level. It's the same in life. When the going gets rough, keep your "wings level"!

wardmiller wrote:

Kabuto wrote:I know that this can be said about life's hardships in general, and overcoming the 'woe is me' attitude tends to be helpful overall. Though I'm curious how people in the sleep apnea community tend to overcome and persevere. How do you guys overcome the disappointment regarding the condition, and learn to accept in the most positive way possible?

Accepting that something like this has happened to someone as kind and compassionate as me has proven to be difficult....

In your overall life's travel, OSA is just another bump on the road. If you live long enough you'll have many more "Woe is me" situations. I recommend you learn to expect and tolerate them. I wish my doctor had not restricted me to lifting no more than 10 pounds. I wish I could bend my back more than 10 degrees. I wish I could walk more than 100 feet without resting. I wish it was not necessary for my wife's current Hospice care. But, it all could be much worse. The good side is tomorrow is my 90th birthday!

I'm a pilot and when we fly in bad weather, a "Woe is me" situation for some, we must be concerned with the plane's attitude -- keep the wings level. It's the same in life. When the going gets rough, keep your "wings level"!

And off the ground. I have many of your problems, except you limits are set a little higher than mine. Best wishes for your wife, Jim