extremely tired all the time. need advice.

So he can do his crazy space elephant dance?

I did post the same question to another site after a few days of getting the answer why am I posting to a cpap forum if I'm so anti cpap.

the lights aren't on.... but the stuff far from sets the mood. lights on or off.... when it's off, the cpap doesn't disappear. that weird vacuum noise. it's all very anti romantic. maybe it's just me. maybe everyone else looks at people with cpaps and get turned on.... but not me.

dorlow wrote:When wearing it, I look like a crazy space elephant. how does that put anyone in the mood?

most people put on their cpap *after* they have sex, when they're ready to go to sleep...

dorlow wrote:I did post the same question to another site after a few days of getting the answer why am I posting to a cpap forum if I'm so anti cpap.

good, shoo, come back when you want to make cpap work.

dorlow wrote:the lights aren't on.... but the stuff far from sets the mood. lights on or off.... when it's off, the cpap doesn't disappear. that weird vacuum noise. it's all very anti romantic. maybe it's just me. maybe everyone else looks at people with cpaps and get turned on.... but not me.

again, except for people indulging in some fun fetishes, one puts one's cpap on when going to sleep, not when trying to get it up.

are you always this thick? I pity your wife.

Well turn those lights on and do your crazy space elephant dance! In other words ... lighten up and quit worrying about how you look! Romance and sex isn't about looks.

I'll add, my machine takes up too much room on my night table and I want to build a "cpap table" to put behind my night table. It sits too far back anyway because of the way my headboard is shaped. Then I figure I will regain night table space and hide the cpap. It should sit lower than my head anyway. Mine doesn't make any noise. The air conditioner is much louder.

problem I have with not putting the cpap on until "it's over" is basically I'm now sending this cryptic message if it's on that I'm hands off to my wife. if it's off, then you better be ready when you get into bed. if I leave it off, I feel like I'm some sliving dog and my wife is some meat. I don't like my mask being on or off as my flare signal signalling whether I'm in the mood or not.

problem I have with not putting the cpap on until "it's over" is basically I'm now sending this cryptic message if it's on that I'm hands off to my wife. if it's off, then you better be ready when you get into bed. if I leave it off, I feel like I'm some sliving dog and my wife is some meat. I don't like my mask being on or off as my flare signal signalling whether I'm in the mood or not.

Hey, she knows how to undo velcro, doesn't she? If she's in the mood a mask shouldn't stop her. Leave it on and it may make for some unusual sleepyhead reports.

really when getting down to it, that probably is the absolute reason why I can't stand the cpap. one, I haven't noticed any health benefits over the year I did use it. but I did notice my wife and I got romantic a fraction of the time which led us to feel more like roommates than a couple which was putting a big drain on the whole family more arguing, and possibly led to my lower T levels.

Sounds like a good talk is/was in order where you both discuss how it interferes with your marriage. Give her full permission to remove, or ask you to remove, the mask. It may be that you both used the mask as a scapegoat to prevent intimacy. But I'm no marriage counselor. If you get any other medical problems resolved (low T, breathing issues) maybe you will be closer.

Poor dorlow ~~~

These don't seem like real problems. LOL

If it's on and she wants you why would she keep her hands off?
If she wants what the mask is covering she can take the mask off?


I don't think the mask is at the core of your romance issues.
I'd guess cpap is being used as the excuse to cover some other things?

...but life can change on a dime.
You can decide to be different.

Definitely palerider is right that most of the time you'll take the mask OFF when 'bonding'.
I mean it only takes seconds, right?


...but if you decide you do want to play with the mask on?
I have a suggestion for a dorlow cpap seduction song?
(wait for the chorus!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXjOLhm3mm0

I'll admit over the last few weeks of not wearing it, that part ofor our relationship increased probably 100 fold. so no problems in our relationship

Too funny Grace!

OH, so no wonder you are "extremely tired all the time". So AFTER you could put the mask on.