Getting the wife on board (help!)

[Sheriff Buford]

I'm the wife, light-sleeper and CPAP user in my household. My husband doesn't like the "breathing noise" the machine makes, so we put a white-noise machine on his nightstand that covers up the noise of the air moving. He prefers the sound of light rain to the woosh.

I have a different sleep schedule from my husband. I go to bed a couple hours after him and he gets up a couple hours before I do. For me, the noise and light leaks from his going in and out of the bathroom in the morning is disruptive and wakes me up. Not enough sleep makes me cranky and I do that sigh thing.

I suggested that I move to another bedroom for sleep, but that wasn't acceptable to him because spouses are "supposed to" sleep together. He's okay with one of us sleeping in the other room when someone is sick or coughing, but not nightly. I can't just move to the other room because I have to cart the CPAP with me. We are working on other solutions, including setting him up in the guest bathroom to do his morning prep, to let me have those extra 2 hours in the morning, undisturbed.

What I'm saying is that there may be some other issue your wife has with your marriage and sleeping the same bed seems like the solution to her. Talk, talk talk about it. What is it exactly that she wants? If you clearly state that NOT sleeping with the CPAP is not an option because your health matters, see what suggestions she has. Maybe try one of those white-noise machines or a fan to drown out the CPAP noise. See if you can maybe spend 30 minutes together in bed for pillow talk and bonding, and then move to the other room to sleep with the CPAP.

Get a backup machine and put it in the other bedroom. You'll need one anyway and when you go to the other room you'll run it long enough to keep it fresh and ready. Sheriff

[Sheriff Buford]

My wife is also a light sleeper, and I have the same issue(s). I often sleep in the "other" bedroom because if I made a stink about it, she would try to accept the noise and she would end up being miserable. I sleep in the other bedroom because I care for her. I also make it a point to chase her around the house before bedtime to.. ah... you get the message

Sheriff

[BlackSpinner]

My wife is also a light sleeper, and I have the same issue(s). I often sleep in the "other" bedroom because if I made a stink about it, she would try to accept the noise and she would end up being miserable. I sleep in the other bedroom because I care for her. I also make it a point to chase her around the house before bedtime to.. ah... you get the message

Sheriff

Yes and the "chasing around" works much better with cpap therapy in the mix.

[RogerSC]

My wife will sometimes use the other bedroom...we start out the night in bed together, but if she wakes up and can't get back to sleep, she'll go off to the other bedroom. At first I was a little taken aback by this, we've always slept together. But she cannot sleep with earplugs, and I want her to get her sleep as well. So, while I don't encourage her to do that, I understand and support her with it since she gets more sleep. Which benefits both of us *smile*. And there's plenty of time other than when she's in the other bedroom for those other forms of intimacy *smile*.

I guess that we all work this stuff out, one way or the other. She really does want me use cpap, and is happy that I'm staying with it.

[R1200ST]

Thank you all for your wonderful advice and especially those of you who have worked through this issue, or are working through this issue.

I have a hose cover coming in, and to me, the nose pillow noise is very minimal but to her it does sound like the Darth Vader noise.

We are under a lot of pressure right now with a layoff and the job hunt etc. This is just one more issue to deal with. I am patient but it is very frustrating to have such an passive aggressive stance from her. I have always been the patient one during the sleep issues and I was expecting her to be happy that I am on the road to a healthier life.

The sleep apnea effected me in many ways, and I am getting better. I will look at the information and work with her.

This was just so unexpected..........

R

[Sir NoddinOff]

Thank you all for your wonderful advice and especially those of you who have worked through this issue, or are working through this issue.

I have a hose cover coming in, and to me, the nose pillow noise is very minimal but to her it does sound like the Darth Vader noise.

We are under a lot of pressure right now with a layoff and the job hunt etc. This is just one more issue to deal with. I am patient but it is very frustrating to have such an passive aggressive stance from her. I have always been the patient one during the sleep issues and I was expecting her to be happy that I am on the road to a healthier life.

The sleep apnea effected me in many ways, and I am getting better. I will look at the information and work with her.

This was just so unexpected..........

R

Hang in there - this too shall pass

[Pugsy]

When you have time and think about it would you change your equipment profile to reflect the Nuance nasal pillows that you are now using?

So the wife is hearing the Darth Vader sounds...while the Nuance isn't horribly loud it is louder than the ResMed AirFit P10 nasal pillow mask....any way you can get your hands hold of the P10?
The vent noise from the P10 is essentially non existent.

[CaptainRaven40]

When you have time and think about it would you change your equipment profile to reflect the Nuance nasal pillows that you are now using?

So the wife is hearing the Darth Vader sounds...while the Nuance isn't horribly loud it is louder than the ResMed AirFit P10 nasal pillow mask....any way you can get your hands hold of the P10?
The vent noise from the P10 is essentially non existent.

This is one of my favorite things about the P10 is that the vent noise is so minimal and doesn't feel like it is going to blow my wife out of the bed. I haven't found another mask that is this quiet, but I haven't tried a ton of masks. I am in the market for a full face mask, but I am worried about the venting for sure.

[Pugsy]

This is one of my favorite things about the P10 is that the vent noise is so minimal and doesn't feel like it is going to blow my wife out of the bed. I haven't found another mask that is this quiet, but I haven't tried a ton of masks. I am in the market for a full face mask, but I am worried about the venting for sure.

It's one of my favorite things to and I have tried just about every nasal pillow mask out there.
I think in years to come that a lot more masks will have this diffused venting system but for now our choice is limited. I don't have any real full face mask experience so I am no help with vent noise with FFM..
I suppose if I was in a mind to try one to check on noise it would be the ResMed AirFit F10 (sister product to the P10) since I think it has a little of the diffused venting system in place.

[Chilehead]

I'm surprised that noise is an issue. I have only been using the P10, and I can't hear any noise from it or the machine. I understand different mask types have different levels of noise, but are they really so much louder than the P10 to cause a light sleeper problems?

The only noise problem I have with my mask is that it doesn't stop the noise coming from my wife when she snores!

[R1200ST]

I have a P10 mask and will use it tonight to see how well I do. Thanks for the advice. I forgot I had it in my bag. The VA gave me a couple masks to try and so I will give this one a go.

[chunkyfrog]

Maybe she should be told that you will either continue with therapy or CANCEL YOUR LIFE INSURANCE.
On second thought, a second bedroom sounds great, if possible.
Bullfrog is always griping about something.
Mouth sounds, the mask breeze, ugly noises from under the covers.

[zoocrewphoto]

As a couple people mentioned, do try to find out what is bothering her about it and see if you can make adjustments to make it easier for her. I know my first 6 weeks, I had a ton of leaks, and that can be bothersome. So,some of this may be the adjustment period and learning to make it quieter.

I do not normally sleep in the same room as anybody else, but I do share a hotel room sometimes. Everybody has been thrilled with how quiet I am compared to before. But I will add that I sleep in a separate bed. I have never had to work at making sure my venting doesn't aim at somebody. You may need to make adjustments to your bedding or setup so that noise is reduced or no cool airflow is aimed at her.

Usually, both people benefit from cpap since the person without sleep apnea no longer has to listen to snoring and gasping. But they may still have an adjustment period too.

[SewTired]

My Mom had the same problem with sleeping when my Dad got an oxygen concentrator. I gave them a white noise generator. She set it to ocean waves and had no problems after that. Find the sound that your wife likes and can sleep with.

My Sleepweaver mask makes a lot of noise and wakes me up, so I have an app with insect night sounds that helps me to completely ignore the sound from the mask, so I sleep better with it as a result. Something as simple as a fan is the most common thing used by most people to cut down on sounds from traffic.

[chunkyfrog]

Insect noises, sounds like my tinnitus.
Sometimes it makes me hungry.