What is XPAP?

I'm still somewhat new (a few months) to the world of CPAP and am still learning the terminology. I looked at the CPAPopedia and couldn't find a definition for XPAP. What is it exactly? Thanks for the education.

Hi,

Some of us use xPAP as a generic term for cPAP/aPAP/biPAP etc:

so it means 'all types of cpap machine'

Cheers

DSM

Hi nomad,

Be careful will you!! Remember, this site is being monitored. No one knows just who is really watching.

The "X" as you mentioned is well known by many in the upper echelons of our government - ask Scully if you like, even she will admit it.

The "PAP" you mention stands for - "Presumed Alien Presence". When combined as XPAP, the term becomes a secret code known only to devout individuals who practice obscure sleeping habits, generally with a mask over their face late at night. Some actually try to remain anonymous by doing away with the mask and just use a simple hose up their nose thinking this will create enough of a disguise so as not to be noticed.

It really doesn't matter - mask, hose up the nose or a cheap paper bag - they are all being monitored. It is the sound of their machine that gives them away!!

Some cheapos, we'll call them "C's", try to sneak by with a machine that only emits a "continuous" sound. Never varies and can lull you to sleep.

Others, we'll call them "A's" try to remain hidden by "automatically" adjusting the sound (as well as the air pressure) thinking they can avoid detection in this manner.

Finally there are those who think they are really special and can have it both ways. We'll call them "Bi"s".

As far as the "PAP's" are concerned they don't give a damn. It's all too confusing for them so they just lump all into one category as "X". The upside is that they are not discriminating anyone so all can remain hidden as they see fit. As long as no one is listening!

Good luck on your therapy and hope you are doing well.

Bob F

Presumed Alien Presence!

O.

Thanks uncle bob, you have really cleared that up. I was set to reply with my own explanation, fortunately you beat me to it, I would have had it all wrong. I had always assumed that APAP was simply the first on the market (short for "a PAP"), followed by "B" for the alternate lifestyle audience, then "C" for CHEAPO, etc... I decided "X" was experimental, or I had merely slept through DEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVW. Not sure.

I had never made the connection with Scully and friends. Now I'm curious, I just HAD to check my XPAP machine v-e-r-y c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y. Sure enough, right where you plug in the hose, in fine print, but plain as day, it says "MICROPHONE". And just above the "ON" button in even finer print, and illuminated with a black light, it says "MIND CONTROL". (And lots of other strange writing, nothing I recognize).

That was my first clue. Didn't see much else suspicious. But just to be sure, I put a surveillance camera to watch it when no one is around, to see WHO exactly (or WHAT) is interested in my XPAP machine. After reviewing the tapes, and just as you might expect, here is what I found.... NOTHING !

That is, until I played it back frame-by-frame. SURE ENOUGH! the LCD window was flashing subliminal messages. But only for 1/30th of a second, several times a minute. I would have NEVER picked up on that. What did the message say? I could tell you, but Respironics would probably censor this post, and it would get pulled, so it will have to wait. Sorry. Suffice it to say that I have an irresistible urge to run out and buy an M-Series AUTO, for no apparent reason. I don't really NEED one.

What else did the surveillance tape reveal? Nothing to speak of. There was one little curiosity, and I'm SURE I'm the very last one on this planet to learn about this, and I'm SURE it's documented in the user manual somewhere, or the clinician's manual, but it's worth mentioning. After I leave the house, and the all is quiet, the machine appears to sprout little mechanical legs and operates the hose VERY dexterously. Then it walks around picking up my socks (but only one of each pair) and discards them. Then goes back where it started and transforms back into an innocent-looking xPAP. Now I am wondering what ELSE it does when it thinks nobody is looking(?) And who's controlling it. And what do they want from ME? (besides my socks). And the voices? I thought they were only inside my head. Now I'm worried.

More cameras.

At least one mystery solved. Thanks uncle, I would never have stumbled on to this on my own.
(Gotta LOVE the great advice we get on this forum).

-Ric

Hi Ric,

Thanks for your reply - a real hoot! Much appreciated!! Kind of got some of my own medicine back and richly deserved.

Bob F

You people have WAY too much time on your hands!

Ric wrote: After I leave the house, and the all is quiet, the machine appears to sprout little mechanical legs and operates the hose VERY dexterously. Then it walks around picking up my socks (but only one of each pair) and discards them. Then goes back where it started and transforms back into an innocent-looking xPAP.

Ric~
I always just assumed the little gremlin inside my clothes dryer confiscated my missing socks.......hmmm, maybe I too should invest in some hidden cameras!

Suzy

I thought it was my former PAP.
Maybe a rating from the ob-gyn on a smear report?
Previous step dad? compare to XMOM?
A rating for a very kinky pap?

Any more?

Thanks for a laugh this morning, needed that. I wonder if the little guy that turns the light on and off in the refrigerator has any connection to the machine in the bedroom??

Bookbear wrote:You people have WAY too much time on your hands!

Aren't we lucky they do?


O.

yes, we are!

Hi tomjax,

Wasn't sure what to make of your post. All those definitions got me confused so had to look it up in my Oxford dictionary. Just to be sure you understand.

Anyway, I think I have it cleared up now! Thanks to you and the good old english dictionary!! Now I have it all figured out!!!

According to the highly authoritative guide, the "X" stands for - and no doubt you and all your loved ones have used this on many occasions, especially in your young and foolish days - OK, I'll get on with it..... the "X" stands for a kiss. Oh sure, NOW you remember all those romantic Valentine Day cards you sent in the third grade and on and on, and probably still do today. Lover you are, you probably repeat the "X" several times and even throw in a bunch of "O's". Try not to get too carried away with this kind of activity as it can lead to other complications.

So now we know what the "X" stands for. Then, when you combine it with the "PAP" part, it all starts to make sense. The thing is we really need to keep this under our hats. "Mums" the word, so to speak, and in more ways than one. If it gets out, heaven forbid, everyone will claim to be an Apniac and there just won't be enough hoses to go around.

Check it out yourself. Use your own damn dictionary. See!!! The word "PAP" really means - a nipple. So there you have it - XPAP really means kiss nipple. Sounds OK to me, what do you think?

Bob F

P.S. - Even the "ramp" function on my unit is starting to take on a whole new meaning.

unclebob wrote:Check it out yourself. Use your own damn dictionary. See!!! The word "PAP" really means - a nipple. So there you have it - XPAP really means kiss nipple. Sounds OK to me, what do you think?

ROTFL !!!



(you win. i can't top that.)

-Ric

You know what they use to say on Laugh-in, Go look that up in your Funk & Wagnell ............... so I did:

pap - Archaic a teat; nipple; any soft food for babies; Slang the fees and privileges of public office.

Now I'm sorry I did