noise variations disturb spouse

dougoshow wrote:I have been on a cpap for 11 years, using a Remstar machine. That machine makes a slight constant noise. My new machine is a bipap and the sound changes with every inhale and exhale. My supplier let me try the cpap version of the same machine and it does the same thing. He called it Bi-flex or C-flex and insists that all current machines contain that technology. It can be turned off but he says there is still a variation in sound with each inhale and exhale. This is disturbing to my spouse and if I can't get the machine quiet I will have to sleep in another room. Ear plugs have helped, but give her a headache. Anyone know how to solve this problem?

I am assuming you have the CPAP on a nightstand next to your side of the bed and opposite your spouse's side of the bed. At night place the CPAP on a low stool or even on the floor and the noise will be less to you and spouse.

Buttercup wrote: Everyone has a right to a good night's sleep

Oh really? Tell me more about this right.

Buttercup,

I still don't understand how you could sleep when your husband snores and snorts himself awake likely hundreds of times a night, yet don't believe you'll be able to sleep with the hum of a machine. I wonder if a wait and see approach may be better than assuming the most dreaded outcome?

Buttercup wrote:

BlackSpinner wrote:
This person has to be a troll. "Violated by the intrusion" ? Really, they feel violated by the very thing that is keeping their spouse healthy? Really?

Yes. Violated. In fact, I'll go on to say that it's an insult to be told by a doctor that your concerns about the noise are unfounded, that 'modern' machines are less noisy, and that your sleep doesn't matter as long at their patient complies.

I have been all over the internet and found COUNTLESS posts from frustrated, sleep deprived spouses, where the 'help' is just the same recycled nonsense. The responses are basically the same: complaining spouse is selfish, doesn't care, and doesn't have a right to a good night's sleep because of the invasive treatment.

Yes the complaining spouse is selfish. I suggest you get a divorce asap. Because he will soon be feeling better and much more frisky and then you will have to do more in bed then sleep. Maybe he will look for another person who will think is health is paramount to them. Who will think the slight white noise is a blessing.

It's nice to know that MY health is of no moment. Thanks. But this is why my husband is beginning to realize, correctly, that OSA is a couples issue. He would prefer that our concerns be addressed in a manner consistent with the idea that its a bad idea to do something for yourself that doesn't fix the sleep problems that your spouse has had all along.

Yes I am sure it is a good idea to refuse treatment, but how are you at changing diapers? When he has his stroke and can't manage that or when his dementia gets bad enough for him to forget about toilet training? Oh you will sleep well with his snoring and gasping beside you.

Call me a troll all you want, BlackSpinner, but at least I recognize that marriage is a two-way street that requires people to work together. Apparently you consider a non-CPAP spouse to be a second class citizen.

Buttercup wrote: I have been all over the internet and found COUNTLESS posts from frustrated, sleep deprived spouses, where the 'help' is just the same recycled nonsense.

Oh. Well. Read it on the internet. Why didn't you say so before? It must be right!

Buttercup wrote:

BlackSpinner wrote:
This person has to be a troll. "Violated by the intrusion" ? Really, they feel violated by the very thing that is keeping their spouse healthy? Really?

Yes. Violated. In fact, I'll go on to say that it's an insult to be told by a doctor that your concerns about the noise are unfounded, that 'modern' machines are less noisy, and that your sleep doesn't matter as long at their patient complies.

I have been all over the internet and found COUNTLESS posts from frustrated, sleep deprived spouses, where the 'help' is just the same recycled nonsense. The responses are basically the same: complaining spouse is selfish, doesn't care, and doesn't have a right to a good night's sleep because of the invasive treatment.

I really hope you will enjoy changing his diapers. Really your issue with the concept of "cpap noise" not allowing you to sleep compared to a life threatening chronic illness is totally insulting.

It's nice to know that MY health is of no moment. Thanks. But this is why my husband is beginning to realize, correctly, that OSA is a couples issue. He would prefer that our concerns be addressed in a manner consistent with the idea that its a bad idea to do something for yourself that doesn't fix the sleep problems that your spouse has had all along.

Ah you have decided you know better then his doctor and are looking forward to the cheque from his life insurance. YOUR sleep problems would not be an issue if you slept in another room. In fact YOUR sleep problems are not an issue at all.

Call me a troll all you want, BlackSpinner, but at least I recognize that marriage is a two-way street that requires people to work together. Apparently you consider a non-CPAP spouse to be a second class citizen.

Yes I was once married to someone like you who considered their problems as the only ones which were of any concern. Nobody deserves a spouse like you. It is hard to consider you as a second class citizen when you don't need to wear a cpap. It is your husband who is getting shafted by his spouse.

My husband is a jewel; I only hope I am worthy of him.
When I was the only one on a machine, he stood (or laid) beside me.
Everyone dealing with a difficult medical condition should have a spouse as supportive as he.
Sadly, there are not enough to go around.

Buttercup,

I've never heard anyone say that his or her partner's sleep was disturbed at all by a [properly functioning] cpap machine. My partner says it's less noisy than a fan in the room or the central air conditioning that runs in the summer. I don't hear it at all. And like a fan or an air conditioner, you hear it for a few minutes and then tune it out.

Before using cpap, my snoring and gasping was a major cause of sleep deprivation for my partner; the relative silence of the cpap machine, and the result of ending my snoring, was a godsend. No more earplugs or waking during the night, etc. at first my partner would check me to make sure I was breathing; I was so silent sleeping with cpap.

Since there aren't currently viable alternatives to cpap that will successfully keep your husband breathing and oxygenated throughout the night, I would give it a try. You may be pleasantly surprised that you don't hear it at all. And the piece of mind that comes with knowing that it's much less likely your husband will have a stroke or die in his sleep while using cpap might be priceless.

Sometimes solutions are imperfect, but you won't know until you try.

Both people's sleep quality is important. While my spouse uses a CPAP and I do not want health consequences for him. The noises it makes (not just the machine, but the whistles, growls, etc. he makes when he opens his mouth while sleeping disturb me. There are several times a night when I am wakened by this. Even the dog leaves the room, so it's not just me. Waking him so he can shut his mouth works - temporarily. All the comments about being self-focused are mean and rude. Both people deserve to sleep well and to not have health problems from lack of sleep.

Well has he tried a full face mask?

What he's doing is not supposed to happen.

But some people find that once fun is over and lights are out, one of them goes to the next room and both do get their sleep. Not a perfect option, but at least they sleep.