Dating with Sleep Apnea

[STL Mark]

If you are going the online route, consider putting something like "Looking for a fellow hosehead, so we have that in common". Will at least break the ice on the topic as you date people.

[Conrad]

Well Darth Vader had the obvious advantage of being a Sith Lord and using the force to "acquire" dates.

No I'm certain you aren't the only one that feels that way.

Same logic applies to this and everything else like it though. Ask yourself this seriously. Do you have ANY desire to date or otherwise be in a relationship with someone that would judge you for the curse of the hose?

Would you tolerate that in ANY friend? I would hope you would not and doubt that you would.

It's just a fact of your life. It doesn't make you less of a person any more than being female does, the color of your skin, eye color, blah blah...

Probably not what you want to lead with in a conversation, but before getting at all serious with someone-- bring it up. If they can't deal with it, then they can't deal with you. It says more about them and what kind of friend or potential partner they'd be than anything about you.

So yeah. If you love yourself and think you're a good person... go with that and don't allow anyone unworthy into your life-- Now you just have a good way to test it.

VERY well said sir!

[kaiasgram]

There are online dating services for various demographics -- seniorsmeetup, christianmingle, etc. Maybe we should start one for our 'demographic,' hoseheadharmony.com, papmatch.com, something like that. Skip the awkward conversations altogether.

Seriously, SHM, I'm glad you're feeling a shift in confidence and I wish you the best 'out there' in the dating world.

[chunkyfrog]

I often think of it as a different kind of "kinky".
We both laugh about it, both sleep with the hose.
We take little in our lives 100% serious.
Sometimes I think God gives us obstacles because we are so cute when we struggle.

[jweeks]

Plus, I am still very embarrassed about having Sleep Apnea.

Hi,

I have so many other things to be embarrassed about that OSA and CPAP doesn't even make the top 10. As a result, I am not at all worried about the machine. It does, however, get in the way of being spontaneous at times.

If this is the only thing that you are worried about, then you must be a pretty nice catch. Everyone has things like this that they worry about. How about making a list of the things that you have in your favor that you are not worried about, and focus more on the items that help you build up your confidence?

-john-

[BlackSpinner]

If you are going the online route, consider putting something like "Looking for a fellow hosehead, so we have that in common". Will at least break the ice on the topic as you date people.

Maybe, but know that in Canada "hoser" is a term for country bumpkin, hockey playing, beer swilling kind of guy.

[quietmorning]

Well Darth Vader had the obvious advantage of being a Sith Lord and using the force to "acquire" dates.

No I'm certain you aren't the only one that feels that way.

Same logic applies to this and everything else like it though. Ask yourself this seriously. Do you have ANY desire to date or otherwise be in a relationship with someone that would judge you for the curse of the hose?

Would you tolerate that in ANY friend? I would hope you would not and doubt that you would.

It's just a fact of your life. It doesn't make you less of a person any more than being female does, the color of your skin, eye color, blah blah...

Probably not what you want to lead with in a conversation, but before getting at all serious with someone-- bring it up. If they can't deal with it, then they can't deal with you. It says more about them and what kind of friend or potential partner they'd be than anything about you.

So yeah. If you love yourself and think you're a good person... go with that and don't allow anyone unworthy into your life-- Now you just have a good way to test it.

" LIKE "

" LIKE " +1

[Chilimon]

A real man will date a woman for who she is, caring less whether she is missing a limb, has 6 fingers & toes or Sleep Apnea. If the guy is looking for someone perfect, he is not worth having.

Go out there with a smile on your face, just remember, when you are not looking, that is when your Prince Charming will appear.

[quietmorning]

SleepyHeadMommy -

I divorced my first husband when my children were 3, 4 and 7.

My first boy-friend couldn't deal with a 'ready made family' - he was out of there. I loved him, we had been really wonderful friends for a long time before we ever dated. But he wasn't worthy of me or my children.

I spent a long time single, which was fine. I wanted to marry my best friend and lover, not just anyone. There's a saying, "It's takes a mighty good man to be better than none."

The next person I fell in love with (died in a motorcycle accident) was also someone I had been friends with for a long time. When he decided he loved me, he decided he loved me with a collapsed spine, not able to walk, in extreme pain 24/7. . .it didn't matter. He knew me inside and out and he loved me. It didn't matter that I had children, it didn't matter that I needed a very expensive surgery. HE was WORTHY of my love for him. He died five months after my surgery, when I was just beginning to get back to the me without all this physical stuff, so he never saw me physically healed.

My husband and I were friends for two years before we started dating. I wasn't on cpap then - but had other stuff. He has stuff. Everyone has . . . STUFF. If it's not CPAP, it will be something else. It's always something else, we are, after all, human. So, someone who is worthy of you is someone who will take the TIME to know you - to befriend you, to love you for who you are - inside and out. CPAP is a treatment for a sleep disorder, it's not WHO YOU ARE. Someone who is worthy of you will allow that friendship to grow and deepen and will allow the time for your relationship to take the necessary steps.

If that person doesn't have the patience to know you enough to truly deeply love you - then that person doesn't have any business knowing how you sleep, any way. You're worth far more than compromising yourself for the sake of being in a relationship.

[quietmorning]

Sometimes I think God gives us obstacles because we are so cute when we struggle.

I love this perspective - may I quote you?

[quietmorning]

Another thought: You know, there's no guarantee that five years into marriage or sharing your life with someone that either of you won't go through something medically devastating. It's good to know that who ever you choose to spend the rest of your life with isn't bugged with life's curve balls and can actually stand with that commitment of 'for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in healthy' - whether actually spoken or not.

[Janknitz]

Consider it a litmus test to help you weed out the jerks like your ex.

Oh, and don't wear your mask to dinner!

[chunkyfrog]

Unless that's ALL you are wearing!

[Dreamingofsleep]

I love these posts. These are great responses, and encouraging for all of us singles. Wow it does put it in perspective doesn't it?

Wishing you all the best in finding that special guy who is concerned if you DON'T wear the mask

Dreaming

[quietmorning]

Unless that's ALL you are wearing!