My resentment against my CPAP

[cpapnewbie11]

nst yI am a champion snorer and an overweight single woman in her 40s trying to start a relationship. I have been hiding my CPAP machine for a year instead of using it because I am surrounded by intimidating slim and healthy fit people of all ages, including my parents I don't enjoy my sleep when I use the CPAP because it is a 'foreign object' which I have to 'sort out' each time I go to the loo. I just don't sleep soundly/deeply with the machine, when I wake up after using it, I feeel uncontrollably tired and I just can't start my day till I've gone back to bed to sleep and snore blissfully without the machine. Like the rest of you, I cant afford the time to have 2 bed times in a day Needless to say, guys have told me to get lost after ceaseless elbow jabs in bed. I can't go on holidays with friends. I need help

[Goofproof]

Snoring isn't a problem it's a symptom of Sleep Apnea. Sleep Apnea is the airway closing and causing the loss of breath. What you have to decude, do you want to stay in De-Nile, or controll the Sleep Apnea. For one year you swam De-Nile and lived, but that could end any night, not to count the stress it puts on your general health. We are here to help you, but first you must deside you want to invest in yourself, if you don't nature will sort it out in the end. Jim

[Elle]

Embrace it and that will show in your 'aura'. People are interested in deeper things than what you have on your head. It is who you are and people sense when you are not being authentic.

Or, you could also get one of those cute pink strappy head gears.

[Artcarved]

It is unfortunate you are having trouble using your Cpap. You might want to look into using a mouth appliance. I had used one for a few years and it did help with the snoring but not my apnea. Here is the website for a mouth appliance and they will also recommend a dentist who can fit you. It takes a while to get use to it, but it will minimize your snoring, if not stop it. http://www.glidewelldental.com/dentist/ ... -nite.aspx

I am using a Cpap but I am also feeling tired rather then refreshed. I have an appointment with my doctor in 2
weeks and will see what he has to say.

[cowlypso]

It is what you make of it.

I think that nearly everybody will admit that there's an adjustment period. It really is something foreign that you have to learn how to sleep with. It really is an annoyance sometimes. And it can definitely take a few weeks of consistent use before you get used to sleeping with it and sleep soundly.

For me, I noticed improvement right away, and I got used to it after about a month, but it was really 3 months or so before I was able to sleep without noticing the mask at all (seriously, there are times that I wake up and have absolutely no awareness of the mask or machine).

Unable to go on trips with friends? No problem. This is where your attitude comes into play. I know that I need to use it, and so I do. Who cares what other people think? The machines are very quiet, and mostly sound very similar to white noise. I take my machine out of town every weekend and sleep in my friend's guest room. I've taken it to camp and slept in a shared cabin. I've gone on road trips and shared hotel rooms. Bonus - the white noise from my machine helped cover up some of my mother's snoring!

If you are having problems managing your equipment, make adjustments until it works for you. For me, I tried 3 different masks, 2 different chinstraps, 3 different lotions on my nose, a few different machine settings, and lots of experimenting with where to put the hose. It took about a month to get it all straightened out. Don't give up on it after just a few sporadic nights.

[snuginarug]

Consistent use of the machine will change your metabolism and energy level, making it easier for you to become active and fit. I personally lost weight just by using the machine, no change in my diet or exercise habits. That doesn't happen for everyone, but it does happen for some. The boost in energy (after the adjustment period) will help you in numerous ways. And truly, the glow it gives you is amazing. My skin was grey before cpap, now it is rosy. The first week I used it several people asked me where I had gotten so much sun, the change was so drastic. Not being tired all the time will improve your mood and out look too. I have seen some amazing transformations on this forum. One person in particular went from being pessimistic and self conscious and unhappy to upbeat and hopeful. Her whole life changed. Indeed, I think most of us experienced a big life change after starting cpap. Going from a zombie to a real person is a huge change, a change for the better.

But all of that is pretty superficial. Being overweight, you are at higher risk for diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, etc. Using cpap greatly improves the state of every single system in the body... heart, lungs, lymphatic system, skin, digestion and metabolism... every part of your body benefits from regular therapy, decreasing greatly your risks for weight-related health problems. It really is more than just snoring or looking and feeling better... this is your life we're talking about.

The adjustment period is hard. However, the only way to the other side is through. I would highly recommend that you never lay down to sleep without masking up. That makes the transition easier, as contradictory as that sounds. Sleeping half the night without it negates the benefits you would reap. Keep coming back here for advice and support. That's what this forum is for.

Better a few sleepy days than death due to complications of sleep apnea.

[rocklin]

nst yI am a champion snorer and an overweight single woman in her 40s trying to start a relationship.

I think I love you, cpapnewbie11.

roc

(Be warned that I don't put out until that all important third date)

[Mary Z]

Come on, you can do it if you make up your mind to take care of yourself. The CPAP machine is doing no good in the closet. If you use it 100% of sleep time you will get used to the machine and many of us did lose weight after we started treatment.
Your resentment isn't against the machine, it's against your life. Your life should improve if you use your machine. Besides, who wants to be a champion snorer, or sleep with one?
Good luck.

[retrodave15]

Both me and my wife are recent converts to the CPAP. After years of ignoring years of health problems with each of us; Mine was horrible insomnia and multiple wake ups and hypertension, my wife has CHF, hypertension and weight issues all secondary to a Atrial Septum Defect that was repaired 9 years ago. We both made the conscious decision to get better and take on these problems. We were both diagnosed with OSA (my wife) and Complex Sleep Apnea (me) and were given his and hers CPAP machines. Both of us at first thought is was the end of sex, traveling and so on, but as we have adjusted life is better and getting better each day. Sex is better our collective mood is better and she has begun to get control of her weight and is finding it easier to eat better and healthier.

You say you cant travel with CPAP, I call shenanigans - Our good friends dragged us out of the house this past weekend to a cabin in the Hocking Hills for Thanksgiving, we made all the excuses, we can't travel with CPAP, its too hard, and low and my friend Rick said I am bringing mine. Then my other friend said I always travel with mine as well. Then we said well we can't travel with the oxygen concentrator (my wife uses an additional 2l on CPAP), wrong again we found out that our DME will deliver 02 for people on vacation to their hotel or B&B, when we got to cabin, waiting for us was a concentrator almost like we have at home. These are people who I have known for years, had no idea they were fellow hoseheads and over the long weekend they dispelled the myths and showed us the reality of life with CPAP. Life can be good if not great.

Rick and Kari both met their wives on CPAP, we are all in our late 30's to early 50's, all in on our second or third marriages, and all have spouses who are accepting or user of CPAP who understand why we use this device. If you meet someone who is not accepting of this, you need to move on as they are not the right person for you.

If you are not feeling comfortable with your CPAP see your Sleep Doc or DME, My DME has walk in hours on Thursday's to address use and comfort issues and get you more compliant in your use. If your Sleep Doc and DME are not using this approach - find a new Sleep Doc and DME. It took me 3 tries to find a mask that I can use, and my sleep doc has prescribed a short term med to help me sleep during this adjustment period.

We are both feeling good and both of us have started to turn the corner.

Dave

[Perrybucsdad]

because I am surrounded by intimidating slim and healthy fit people of all ages, including my parents

Hogwash! I'm slim and somewhat fit and I have OSA and use a CPAP machine, and I know a ton of people who are the same as me who use one. Overweight people do not hold a corner on the OSA world, as it affects all kinds (even children and dogs... yes, I had a Golden Retriever who I think had Apnea and who snored horribly).

As for your parents, well, I don't know them, but parents should love you unconditionally. You are their child and they should understand.

As far as guys kicking you out of bed for your snoring... well, I can understand I guess, but those who are worth something will understand your OSA and will understand your CPAP machine if you embrace it. Treatment I believe is 99% mental... once you get over mental aspect of it, the 1% which is physical generally falls into place. You need to work at it though as it won't just magically happen if you fight it.

Best wishes!

John

[TalonNYC]

As for visiting friends, I just got back from a trip to Salem, MA to do just that for Thanksgiving. You'd be shocked how many of your friends and family will be THRILLED that you're doing something about your apnea! They'd rather find you an extension cord for your machine (nearly all of which are travel-ready, BTW, let us know which one you have and we can help) than have you rattle their windows when you "sleep" LOL!

Give it a go for 30 days. Most of us acclimate to the device within a week or so, but some take a bit longer. Once you're used to the machine, and feeling the effects of getting a real night's sleep, you'll be ready to tackle the world.

[So Well]

cpapnewbie11

Check your in box for my PM.

[BadThad]

because I am surrounded by intimidating slim and healthy fit people of all ages, including my parents

Hogwash! I'm slim and somewhat fit and I have OSA and use a CPAP machine, and I know a ton of people who are the same as me who use one. Overweight people do not hold a corner on the OSA world, as it affects all kinds (even children and dogs... yes, I had a Golden Retriever who I think had Apnea and who snored horribly).

As for your parents, well, I don't know them, but parents should love you unconditionally. You are their child and they should understand.

Me too....I'm slim and fit and have OSA. It can affect ANYONE. That said....

Once you adjust to CPAP you can't sleep without it. I'm completely dependent on my machine and I only get mad if I have to sleep without it....which is extemely rare, i.e. power outage.

[xenablue]

We all started with resentment to some degree, over having to sleep with a mask strapped to our faces every sleeping moment - but as others have said - you learn to deal with it - IF you get the right attitude.

I believe 100% that this is 75% mental/attitude and 25% actual work to make XPAP a livable situation.

I'm just over a year into this, and haven't slept a night without my mask on. Like others, I've tried several masks, rigged up gear to make my night's sleep as comfortable as possible.

I can understand you want a relationship, but first you need to take care of your health, which will take care of your moods and even help you lose weight if you let it. OSA is deadly if not treated - I prefer to give myself every chance that I'll wake up every morning...

Hang in there - yes, it's tough, frustrating, uncomfortable to begin with - but it does get easier, but you have to want to succeed.

Cheers,
xena

[Janknitz]

So, how is this resentment thing working out for you? Do you want to stay in this state for the rest of your life??? Because the need for CPAP isn't going to go away any time soon. So you are going to either have to get over yourself or you are going to have to change your attitude. It's entirely your call.

There is a clue in your post to consider:

I just don't sleep soundly/deeply with the machine, when I wake up after using it, I feeel uncontrollably tired and I just can't start my day till I've gone back to bed to sleep and snore blissfully without the machine.

Maybe your machine needs some adjustment because it's not working optimally for you. You didn't tell us what machine you have or whether you or your doctor has checked the data to see if it's working well for you or if perhaps you are having mask leaks or other issues that interefere with your feeling better while using CPAP.

So are you going to continue to feel sorry for yourself, or are you going to get off your A** and do something to make this therapy work for you??

Every person here sleeps with a machine and mask, all night, every night. We've all hated this at one point or another, but we've all worked hard to get the treatment to work for us. We do not wallow in self pity, we get on with our lives. You can too, if you CHOOSE to.