How do I tell my girlfriend?

Bons · Post by **Bons** » Mon Aug 29, 2011 7:25 pm

Hey, it's not herpes or anything contagious. And the cpap is probably more pleasant to sleep next to than your snoring without it..... my daughter's boyfriend can't wait for her to get her pap.

Mike6977 · Post by **Mike6977** » Mon Aug 29, 2011 9:33 pm

Snuggle up to her on the couch and watch a DVD of David Lynch's Blue Velvet.

When Dennis Hopper puts on that gas mask, and has freaky nitrous-oxide enhanced bdsm sex with Isabella Rossellini, turn to your girlfriend and murmur: "I'm really turned on, how about you?"

If she is, lead her to the bedroom . . .

Slartybartfast · Post by **Slartybartfast** » Mon Aug 29, 2011 9:53 pm

CPAP masks are chick magnets. Where have you been?

This stuff is important. Just tell her. If she's for you, it won't matter.
If not, you don't want to waste your time with her.

Alshain · Post by **Alshain** » Mon Aug 29, 2011 9:55 pm

Mike6977 wrote:Snuggle up to her on the couch and watch a DVD of David Lynch's Blue Velvet.

When Dennis Hopper puts on that gas mask, and has freaky nitrous-oxide enhanced bdsm sex with Isabella Rossellini, turn to your girlfriend and murmur: "I'm really turned on, how about you?"

If she is, lead her to the bedroom . . .

Classic.

Lizistired · Post by **Lizistired** » Mon Aug 29, 2011 10:06 pm

How do you know she doesn't use one?

DavidCarolina · Post by **DavidCarolina** » Tue Aug 30, 2011 2:49 am

Dont make such a big deal out of it. If you do, then SHE will.

Just casually start off explaining that you have some soft tissues in your throat that relax during sleep and cause obstruction. Tell her new breathing
teachnology prevents this and is esssential to your health, and that it is quiet and that you put it on just before sleeping each night. It doesnt disturb anyone else.

Id also keep the machinery out of sight somewhere during the day. I keep my system in a bedside drawer. No need to have all that stuff and the hoses sprawled everywhere.

Dont make a big deal out of it and she wont. We all have challenges in life, and people admire others who can take on a challenge without
fussing over it, handle it, and live life like a real man who simply tries to do what needs to be done.

Same deal with if your wife gets sick, or something like breast cancer. You calmly deal with the situation, provide 100 percent support, and take
the changes as a "matter of fact" situation. Calmness and decisiveness always prevails over freaking out.

newyorknative · Post by **newyorknative** » Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:55 am

For what its worth, I would just say that it eliminates my snoring and just leave it at that. Once she is totally comfortable with that, a few weeks down the road, I may say that I have sleep apnea as well as the snoring and let it go at that.

DaveLP · Post by **DaveLP** » Tue Aug 30, 2011 1:46 pm

After listening to me snore for 25 years, my wife said the whooshing noise was delightful to listen to.

jnk · Post by **jnk** » Tue Aug 30, 2011 2:25 pm

Get on one knee. Have a diamond ring in one hand and your CPAP machine in the other. Then say to her: "Love of My Life, if you will marry me," (at that point, show her the ring) "you are guaranteed of never having to hear your husband snore." Then show her the CPAP.

Mike6977 · Post by **Mike6977** » Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:11 pm

jnk wrote:Get on one knee. Have a diamond ring in one hand and your CPAP machine in the other.

Then say to her: "Love of My Life, if you will marry me," (at that point, show her the ring) "you are guaranteed of never having to hear your husband snore." Then show her the CPAP.

The old bait n' switch! Delivered better than any shifty-eyed, gucci-shoed floor-manager, prowling the sheep at a Beverly Hills Porsche dealership.

Hmmm . . . Dr. JNK: Salesman extraordinaire?

...

Vader · Post by **Vader** » Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:13 pm

jnk wrote:Get on one knee. Have a diamond ring in one hand and your CPAP machine in the other. Then say to her: "Love of My Life, if you will marry me," (at that point, show her the ring) "you are guaranteed of never having to hear your husband snore." Then show her the CPAP.

ROFLOL!!!

Slartybartfast · Post by **Slartybartfast** » Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:22 pm

My sleep doc told me that one of the little-discussed side benefits of CPAP that's not usually mentioned in polite company is that it's good for about another inch. Since it's just you and me here, I figured I'd pass that along. So if the diamond ring doesn't do it, that might impress her.

kempo · Post by **kempo** » Tue Aug 30, 2011 5:23 pm

Slartybartfast wrote:My sleep doc told me that one of the little-discussed side benefits of CPAP that's not usually mentioned in polite company is that it's good for about another inch. Since it's just you and me here, I figured I'd pass that along. So if the diamond ring doesn't do it, that might impress her.

I was wondering what was causing that! I learn something new every time I come in here.

Marky · Post by **Marky** » Tue Aug 30, 2011 5:51 pm

nanwilson wrote:So whats the big deal? There are even many famous people that use cpap...Mike Moran, Katy Perry, Regis Philben just to name a few. What would you think if you had to inject with insulin every day, its just another medical condition that is keeping you alive and well.

But what if I look more like Spike Milligan? a hose wouldnt help, and a nasty draught down her back is off putting.

Perhaps I should get a brown paper bag. and one for her incase mine falls off

Vader · Post by **Vader** » Tue Aug 30, 2011 6:19 pm

Marky wrote: But what if I look more like Spike Milligan?

LOL!

one of my favorites was "The Great McGonagall"

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