It's just not worth it.. I'm just not worth it

[dusty0318]

Fighting the constant leaks, not being able to go to sleep with the mask on, and now the pillows collapsing so I can't breathe. Might just go ahead and cry "uncle" and give up. The mask has won.

[Slartybartfast]

Bzzzzzt! Wrong. You just haven't found the right mask.

[dusty0318]

Bzzzzzt! Wrong. You just haven't found the right mask.

And I can't try another for 6 months.

[JeffH]

Sure you can. Go on cpapauction.com and try all you want. Waiting on insurance to pay when you have OSA and are having trouble getting a mask to fit just isn't worth it. Do this for YOURSELF.


JeffH

[robysue]

Bzzzzzt! Wrong. You just haven't found the right mask.

And I can't try another for 6 months.

First, I agree with Slartybartfast, you should look at a different mask if possible.

Second, in the long run, can you afford to NOT try for another 6 months? Yes, you're not sleeping now. And you haven't been for a very long time. I'm another person who has had a difficult adjustment period that is not fully over almost seven months into therapy. But I refuse to let a dang machine beat me. (I do have a stubborn streak.) Moreover, I really don't want this apnea thing to get worse and start adversely affecting my health several years down the road and find that I have to try adjusting to CPAP again when my reserve strength is less because I am older and less healthy than I am today. So you should ask yourself: Do you want to have to deal with trying to adjust to CPAP again five or ten years farther down the line when you are older, even more set in your ways, and most likely less healthy than you are now?

AND NEVER EVER think that YOU are NOT WORTHY of doing what needs to be done to take care of yourself. And don't let others talk you into believing that you're not worthy of doing what needs to be done to take care of yourself either!

Finally, in the first post to this thread you say you're tired of "not being able to go to sleep with the mask on." Does the problem go beyond the fact that you've not solved the leak issues? If so, can you give me some insight into what specific things are going on that are keeping you from being able to go to sleep with the mask on? I ask because I've been fighting CPAP-induced insomnia for a long time. And finally after lots of concentrated work, I feel that I really am close to a significant and POSITIVE turning point in my ongoing war on the insomnia. It has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my entire life. And I can't yet declare victory. But at the same time in its own weird way, fighting this war (because it is for ME and MY HEALTH and MY QUALITY OF LIFE) has made me deeply proud of my accomplishments---the major one being that I have NOT yet given up on making xPAP work FOR me instead of AGAINST me.

[mmkof5]

I'm sure if you reach out to the members on this forum they will be glad to help. Must be a lot of them that have masks that haven't worked thrown into a closet or drawer somewhere...

Personally, I have a couple of them myself that I would be willing to give to you so you can continue the therapy you need.

Unfortunately, I have to use a FFM since I am a dedicated mouth breather. However, if you are interested in a FFM, please PM me and we can make arrangements.

I'm a slacker but I'm not a QUITTER!!! It's your health...don't let the roadblocks of OSA make you quit! YOU ARE WORTH IT!! By the way - so are your family and friends....

[dusty0318]

I've developed some serious daytime sleepiness issues. It hits me about the time to go exercise. Then I'm fighting to stay awake on the way home. I come home and nap ... sans mask.

I mask up and lay down. There is a short period of "aaahhhh" then the leaks begin. If it's not the pillows popping out and shooting air in my eyes, it's leaks around the mouth portion. I add a piece of pantyhose to the bottom of the mask. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it don't.

[robysue]

I've developed some serious daytime sleepiness issues. It hits me about the time to go exercise. Then I'm fighting to stay awake on the way home. I come home and nap ... sans mask.

Me personally, I wouldn't take that nap sans mask if I were you---let's the old brain continue to believe the mask ain't really necessary in my humble opinion. And since you're fighting insomnia, I'd recommend trying everything you can do to NOT take that nap in the first place. Naps late in the day (as in after about 2 or 3 pm) are likely to keep feeding the insomnia monster by making you not as sleepy at bedtime. Yeah, I know it's cruel. I feel super jealous of my non-insomniac non-OSA hubby every time he lies down for a nap and gets up refreshed and then has a nice cup of fully caffeinated coffee with supper and still goes to bed and sleeps wonderfully all night long...

I mask up and lay down. There is a short period of "aaahhhh" then the leaks begin. If it's not the pillows popping out and shooting air in my eyes, it's leaks around the mouth portion. I add a piece of pantyhose to the bottom of the mask. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it don't.

Some troubleshooting questions:

1) Your signature indicates you are using a ResMed VPAP S. What's the EPAP? And what's the IPAP? Are the leaks far more noticeable when you are inhaling?

2) Are you using a ramp at all? If so, what are the starting pressures? And what's the ramp time? Do the leaks start about the time the pressure (particularly that IPAP) start to get close to your prescribed pressure?

3) Is the weight of the hose pulling at the mask? If so, a hose hanging system might do wonders for you.

4) Have you tried using some lanisoh, KY jelly, or Ayr gell around the nostrils? These things help seal the pillows against the nostrils for those of us using nasal pillows masks.

5) A lot of people find they really can't fit any mask while still sitting up even if they are in bed. Have you tried lying down to fit the mask? If you can't reach the switch without sitting up, could your hubby turn your machine on after you've tried fitting the mask lying in your natural sleeping position for at least a couple of nights?

6) I still think you might have a bum pair of pillows. Do you still have the old ones? If so, you might want to switch back to them and see if that "fixes" the problem temporarily. And in that case, you know you need to return the new ones to the DME and tell them there's a quality issue and that you'd like a replacement pair under some kind of warranty.

7) This is a suggestion that's way, way out in left field, but I'll toss it out anyway. Is it possible that the DME gave you the WRONG size of pillows for the replacement pillows?

[dusty0318]

I've developed some serious daytime sleepiness issues. It hits me about the time to go exercise. Then I'm fighting to stay awake on the way home. I come home and nap ... sans mask.

Me personally, I wouldn't take that nap sans mask if I were you---let's the old brain continue to believe the mask ain't really necessary in my humble opinion. And since you're fighting insomnia, I'd recommend trying everything you can do to NOT take that nap in the first place. Naps late in the day (as in after about 2 or 3 pm) are likely to keep feeding the insomnia monster by making you not as sleepy at bedtime. Yeah, I know it's cruel. I feel super jealous of my non-insomniac non-OSA hubby every time he lies down for a nap and gets up refreshed and then has a nice cup of fully caffeinated coffee with supper and still goes to bed and sleeps wonderfully all night long...

I mask up and lay down. There is a short period of "aaahhhh" then the leaks begin. If it's not the pillows popping out and shooting air in my eyes, it's leaks around the mouth portion. I add a piece of pantyhose to the bottom of the mask. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it don't.

Some troubleshooting questions:

1) Your signature indicates you are using a ResMed VPAP S. What's the EPAP? And what's the IPAP? Are the leaks far more noticeable when you are inhaling?

2) Are you using a ramp at all? If so, what are the starting pressures? And what's the ramp time? Do the leaks start about the time the pressure (particularly that IPAP) start to get close to your prescribed pressure?

3) Is the weight of the hose pulling at the mask? If so, a hose hanging system might do wonders for you.

4) Have you tried using some lanisoh, KY jelly, or Ayr gell around the nostrils? These things help seal the pillows against the nostrils for those of us using nasal pillows masks.

5) A lot of people find they really can't fit any mask while still sitting up even if they are in bed. Have you tried lying down to fit the mask? If you can't reach the switch without sitting up, could your hubby turn your machine on after you've tried fitting the mask lying in your natural sleeping position for at least a couple of nights?

6) I still think you might have a bum pair of pillows. Do you still have the old ones? If so, you might want to switch back to them and see if that "fixes" the problem temporarily. And in that case, you know you need to return the new ones to the DME and tell them there's a quality issue and that you'd like a replacement pair under some kind of warranty.

7) This is a suggestion that's way, way out in left field, but I'll toss it out anyway. Is it possible that the DME gave you the WRONG size of pillows for the replacement pillows?

EPAP of 10 IPAP of 16 ramp off
The hose keeps popping off the mask. DME gave me replacement short hose and it does the same thing.
No hubby. Doubt cat would deign to help.
Yes I still have the old pillows. I also have a small mask that I'm trying tonight. I had originally given up on it because of the pillow popping out
Haven't tried any substance to help seal.
Yep these are medium pillows. What I've been using

[BlackSpinner]

A lot of people are hoping to be "Raptured" on Saturday may 21st so there should be lots of masks and machines laying around then! Hang in there!

[Vader]

A lot of people are hoping to be "Raptured" on Saturday may 21st so there should be lots of masks and machines laying around then! Hang in there!

Anyone who is stupid enough to believe that will happen on May 21, probably isn't even smart enough to treat their apnea with xpap!

[CrazyOldCatLady]

OMG Dusty, sorry to hear things are going so bad for you.
You are certainly worth it! Just need to find the right stuff.
I'm a relative newbie (2 weeks), with 8 kitties.
The ResMed Swift FX for her pillows have been wonderful.
Hose says on. Pillows stay in place with minimal strapping.
Cats pretty much decided the slight hissing meant "Don't sleep on Mommie's face"
Maybe your DME will let you try the Swift FX?

Please keep us posted and don't give up!

Purrs,
COCL

[robysue]

EPAP of 10 IPAP of 16 ramp off
The hose keeps popping off the mask. DME gave me replacement short hose and it does the same thing.

Ok---so TWO (new) hoses have had the same problem with the NEW mask? So maybe the problem is on the MASK END of the connection to the small hose. Maybe there's something wrong with that L-shaped joint where the hose attaches? It might be worth running that idea by the DME and seeing if they'd swap out that part of the mask?

No hubby. Doubt cat would deign to help.

Yes, if your cat is like mine, the best you can hope for is "no interference". Has your cat ever stepped on the Off button? Mine has, much to my displeasure.

Yes I still have the old pillows. I also have a small mask that I'm trying tonight. I had originally given up on it because of the pillow popping out
Haven't tried any substance to help seal.
Yep these are medium pillows. What I've been using

Try the old pillows with the new mask. See if that helps the pillows popping out. Or if you changed the size of the mask (but not the pillows) maybe that's part of the problem?

[Goofproof]

If making XPAP treatment work for you is the hardest thing you run into in this life, consider yourself blessed. As far as your worth, I can't judge, you can. If you give up, please keep coming back, we can use the lists of other damage your body suffers, from non treatment, maybe it will help others to keep trying. Jim

[Jmcsmomma2]

A lot of people are hoping to be "Raptured" on Saturday may 21st so there should be lots of masks and machines laying around then! Hang in there!

Well, hey, maybe Dusty won't be around either, and ya won't need a c pap in heaven!!!!