The comfort any "Guest" can gain from this forum is its most important aspect. For some of those Guests, the ability to get an answer to their question can make or break their therapy. And we all know how difficult, and health saving - some even say life saving - this therapy can be. Registration entails giving your email address to the forum admin - and that maybe too much for some people."I hope that some of the dramatic personal reactions to posts that would have been better simply ignored (imho) won't make first-time message board users reluctant to post as an anonymous Guest if that makes them feel more comfortable."
Despite the good humor and friendliness, this forum is not supposed to be a social club. The humor, banter, mutual complimenting, etc. are a by product, but not the reason for it's existence. It is not a place where those who consider themselves "good guys and gals" should try to push out those they consider "bad". I was shocked to read a statement like the following "<snip> and NOBODY who is the type of member who truly belongs here should mind.<snip>" That statement makes it sound like someone has the right to judge who is the "type of member" who does and who does not "truly" belong here.
Factual information should be pointed out. Mistaken statements should be corrected, and this can, and should be done politely, and generally is. NOBODY should be told they don't belong here, or don't "truly" belong here. And NOBODY should be made to feel they represent a "type" of human being.
[quote'"LDuyer"]Unfortunately in the area of free speech often in order to allow the good, we have to accept the bad, ignor the bad and go on.[/quote]
Yes.
And ignore means ignore.
Ignore, according to my copy of the American college dictionary means: "to refrain from noticing or recognizing".
Being recognized is a very basic human need, and I have no doubt that all of us more constant posters express our need for recognition in that way. But let's try to limit it to being recognized for our tips, our sense of humor, our ability to give each other practical help, to find information that others can use. Posting here should not become a "personality beauty contest" nor are we in a "who is the best interpreter of motives" competition.
Dorothy Rowe, a very wise woman, once wrote: "Power is the right to have your interpretations prevail over other people's interpretations". We have recently been witnessing a power struggle between two people very intent on having their interpretations prevail.
Each of the two has a lot to contribute to this forum, and I am begging them: please ignore each other. Let go.
Some support is better given in private. As are some expressions of thanks. As are some expressions of criticism.
Insisting in public that someone else is this or that kind of person is giving that person the recognition they crave.
Ignore. Don't talk about. Don't describe. Don't make in issue of. Don't mention. Don't even say you are ignoring.
Just ignore and let us all go on to other things.
O.
