Ridiculous quotes and deeds by doctors and DMEs

[Mary Z]

These comments are so refreshing and so troubling at the same time. Pity the poor soul that just gives up and pays the 20%, or the parking tickets. This is off topic, but I heard a doctor (fiction) on TV tell someone on kidney dialysis he was "going into renal failure". We're lucky to be able to navigate these worlds of insurance, DMEs and Doctors. Though the docs can be really scary. LOL.

[LoQ]

Let's not leave out manufacturers in this thread.

I was just looking at a clinician's manual for a machine, and on the cover it says to remove the clinician's manual before giving it to the patient. Then it says,

Pressures
should only be adjusted by
qualified personnel.

I'm sure you've all seen it before, but it's still so funny to me.

Well, I guess I AM qualified to adjust the pressure. The trouble is DMEs always seem shocked when I suggest that.

[LoQ]

From the same manual:

A SMART DATA feature has been incorporated in the RESMED S7 ELITE device to
increase patient involvement in their therapy.

If you really think data observation will increase patient involvement in their therapy, why the resistance to letting us see it?

[grybeard77]

One day, a year or so ago, I was way over due for a replacement mask and as Medicare was paying a nice rental fee for my mask and unit, I went to my local Lincare office and inquired about getting a new mask. after checking my records they said ," Yes, your up for a new one" I said "Great, I would like a Comfortlite 2 with head gear." BTW, they had a new manager in the office, and she replied,"Oh you can't have a mask we don't have in inventory"

Well, I turned around and left and wrote a nice letter to Medicare and a copy to LIncare headquarters, stating her reason for denying me the mask I wanted and told Medicare I would from now on buy what I needed from online suppliers as I didn't believe any DME should be allowed to make a medical assesment about what I needed based on what they had in inventory.

I got a nice letter from Medicare thanking me, Never heard from Lincare.....

[Janknitz]

I like when Crapria told me that they had already given me "two free masks" when they sent the wrong one the first time, sent a replacement, but never sent me the UPS number to return the first one. Like either of them was free just because a mask was part of the initial package with the machine and hose.

Then they almost sent me to collections for a $2.49 co pay for filters they never billed me for--even though they had my credit card on file.

[DoriC]

One day, a year or so ago, I was way over due for a replacement mask and as Medicare was paying a nice rental fee for my mask and unit, I went to my local Lincare office and inquired about getting a new mask. after checking my records they said ," Yes, your up for a new one" I said "Great, I would like a Comfortlite 2 with head gear." BTW, they had a new manager in the office, and she replied,"Oh you can't have a mask we don't have in inventory"

Well, I turned around and left and wrote a nice letter to Medicare and a copy to LIncare headquarters, stating her reason for denying me the mask I wanted and told Medicare I would from now on buy what I needed from online suppliers as I didn't believe any DME should be allowed to make a medical assesment about what I needed based on what they had in inventory.

I got a nice letter from Medicare thanking me, Never heard from Lincare.....

The same thing happened to us when we went to the DME for a replacement UMFF, they said they don't have it in stock anymore and we'd have to take the Quattro(which we knew from experience wouldn't work). We left, I called Medicare and was told that if the mask was still being manufactured the DME was obligated to restock it or special order it for a patient. She also was kind enough to tell me she would "take care of it". About 2hrs later our RT called and said they found a UMFF placed incorrectly on the "wrong shelf" and would even bring it out to us since we had already been inconvenienced. "A Miracle"! The nice Medicare lady's phone call was never mentioned and we've never had a problem since.

[M.D.Hosehead]

Me: My problem isn't that my mandible opens; it's that air leaks out between my lips.

[My former]Sleep Doc: I can write you a prescription for a chin strap.

[mamaguinnie]

Me: I'm concerned about the leaks I'm feeling on my cheeks
RT: The leaks are nothing to worry about unless they are severe enough to wake you or your husband.
??????

[nobody]

Me: I've been waking up at night gasping for breath
Doctor: oh that's just a little sleep apnea. Just prop up the head of your bed or use two pillows
Me: I already use 2 pillows
Doc: then just prop the head of the bed up

I suppose in his defense this did happen in 1989, but I never forgot it because it was totally worthless advice. Were CPAPs even available then? It might have saved me from a hole in the throat, tho. NO THANKS!

[SleepingUgly]

I am about 150lbs over weight. My DR. asked how was my appetite?

This one is still my favorite of all time!

[elena88]

I borrowed a vpap from the hospital, the doctors receptionist told me to bring the vpap back with my apap too..
I said why do you want me to bring MY apap in when I return the vpap?

her: so we can change your pressure in your machine if you need it changed."

me: I can change the pressure in my machine.

her: yes, you can, so bring it in if we need to change it.

me. NO, I can change the pressure in my machine myself.

her: No, we change the pressure in the machine for you!

Me: No, I change my own pressure, why should I lug in two machines, when Im only returning one?

Her: IN case the doctor wants to change the pressure in YOUR machine..

my husband: Okay, got it!

me: what?

husband: we are going now, thank you!

me: but?

husband shuffles me down the hall....

[fireman38355]

hehehe..... Ok, I have 2 different stories from the same DME (I won't mention their name.....Apria).

I was prescribed a Respironics BiPap Auto SV Advanced machine with settings of 4 and 20cm, set to auto. I was told it would take a week, so I waited. I finally got the call to come and pick the machine up and have my consultation with an RT to show me how to use it. I go to pick it up and see that it is NOT an ASV, but a straight BiPap machine.

me: This isn't the right machine

her: Yes it is, this is what your doctor prescribed

me: No, the one he prescribed is an ASV machine, this is a straight BiPap

her: No, THIS is the machine he has prescribed for you, and this is what you will be taking home with you today.

me: I'm not taking this machine home because it's not what what I was told I was getting. This machine is not what I was told I need.

her: I PROMISE YOU, THIS IS THE MACHINE THAT HE PRESCRIBED FOR YOU!!

me: Can I see my prescription?

her: No, that's confidential.

She looks at it and says "hhhhmmmmmmm, this isn't the machine you're supposed to get. I'll be right back"

she comes back and says "your machine isn't here yet, It will be here next week.

me: Overnight it..... I've waited long enough

her: I can't do that, it will take a week

me: OK.... here's how this is gonna work..... When I DIE because you failed to provide me with MEDICALLY NECESSARY EQUIPMENT AS PRESCRIBED BY MY DOCTOR in a timely manner, my wife is gonna own a VERY large chunk of Apria..... then she's gonna be YOUR boss, and she's a B#$%^H to work for.......

she left the room without a word, and came back after about 5 minutes:

her: Sir, your machine will be here at 9am. what time would you like to come in??


I returned the next morning to pick up my correct machine, she has it all laid out on the table. It IS the correct machine this time, but when I tried on the mask it was set to straight CPAP with a pressure of 20cm. needless to say, there were buggars blowing out of my ears. this was not right. After a lengthy discussion, we finally got that fixed and she demonstrated the machine for me. She had the humidifier plugged into itself and the machine plugged straight into the wall, she SWORE to me that this may not look right but that she was POSITIVE that this was correct. I quickly looked the machine over, swapped the plugs around like they should be, and showed her how it was supposed to be....... her face turned three shades of white:

her: "Oh my God, I've been setting these things up this way for YEARS...... I've got some customers to call!!"

me: I'll figure it out, just pack it up so I can go.

[elena88]

OMG, that is some story!

she didnt know she had a tiger by the tail!

[jlk]

Wow, I am not alone. Why would an rt even post on a site with people that have had these experiences? Do they actually think anyone will take them serious? Arrogance was one of the big turn-offs from mine. Im thru with them, just my pcp and online ordering. john

[Mammal]

Me: Does CPAP boost your lung capacity?

RP: No, its not a life support system !