Sleep Debt...do non-apnea people understand?

[Tired Linda]

So, I’ve been using my CPAP every night now for the last month (exactly 31 nights). Some nights have been rough, some not so bad, but last night was the first really decent night I have had. By that, I mean I fell asleep fairly quickly, woke only once, and stayed on my side. I woke up after 8 hours without feeling groggy.

I might add that I’ve been working full time through all of this, as well as helping to care for my disabled father every other weekend.

Apparently, now that I’m on therapy, my husband thinks I should be full of energy and bouncing off the walls.

Well, I’m not, and I still get easily frustrated and overwhelmed, and forget stuff at the grocery store. I feel like crap.

If I say something like “I’m really tired,” or “I could use a nap,” etc.,
I hear
“But you slept really hard last night,” (what's that?) or “You didn’t snore at all.” Like that is supposed to fix everything.

We’ve talked about treatment and I’ve told him over and over things aren’t going to get better overnight. He doesn’t seem to get it. I searched the forum and found a couple of articles on sleep debt, and I Googled a few others. I’m going to give them to him, and ask that he read them.

I guess I'm just venting, but have other people had to go through this too?

Thanks,
L

[BlackSpinner]

Tell him it is like a broken leg - putting it in plaster doesn't fix the break - only time and phisio will heal the damage - well most of it anyway.

[Muse-Inc]

Linda, while I went from bone-deep exhaustion to just plain old tired after several weeks of restful sleep, my energy levels were not close to normal until 9 months of CPAP therapy...it took that long to repair a lot of the damage that had been done during years of no treatment. It took longer for my memory problems to mostly resolve; I still have (just started my 4th year) short-term memory issues and rely on colored 4x6 index cards to compensate. The body-brain will heal but it takes time. You might remind him that wild mood swings are common to us hoseheads before he starts making any more assumptions about how fast your particular body will repair itself after you begin getting restful sleep and enough of it every single night.

[LinkC]

Excellent way to explain it, BS!! That's an analogy people can relate to, even if they've never broken a bone.

I'm stealing that...

[davecpap]

I've had three sleep specialists tell me the same thing... that I should be feeling better after a couple nights of CPAP therapy. All three wanted to start me on Provigil.

I'm still not doing cartwheels, but I'm still making progress... not ready to give in to Provigil just yet!

[chunkyfrog]

Well, it's not an overnight miracle--but a miracle, nonetheless.
My bizarre strenuous dreams stopped right away, and waking up full of adrenaline at all hours,
getting up at 4 a.m., because that's the first wake-up that didn't come with a headache.
Gradually, so did the forgetfulness, fuzzy thinking, night sweats,
I'm still not 100%--but I'm 63 years old!
I feel younger than I have for years.
The daytime tiredness is still there, but it's coming down--it must take a terribly long time to pay off the debt.
I've been at it since 4/15/2010.

[BlackSpinner]

Excellent way to explain it, BS!! That's an analogy people can relate to, even if they've never broken a bone.

I'm stealing that...

You are welcome to use it.

Another way is to compare it to malnutrition. If you haven't been eating a full amount required for several years,one week of good meals isn't going to put meat back on your bones! Or the reverse - one week on a diet isn't going to have you lose 100 lbs.

[kteague]

No, they don't understand. It is hard for anyone to really get it unless they've been thru a comparable experience or have intellectually grasped all that is involved. Maybe you can remind him of something he has gone thru that took time for him to recover. In untreated sleep apnea, the body and brain has been traumatized, probably for years. After what other trauma would a person be expected to not require a recovery time? Few to none.

You haven't had much of a chance to really begin recovery. That would presume your treatment is optimized, and you are getting not only adequate, but extra sleep to enhance your recovery. Working full time while adjusting and maintaining your caregiver role surely can't leave you a lot of extra rest time. If this were me, I wouldn't be as disappointed that he doesn't understand as in knowing he presumes to know better than you how you feel and what you need. I had a friend that I made presumptions about how she should respond to some health issues. More than once she stopped me in my tracks, once saying, "How is it that you think you could possibly know better than I what's best for me?" I realized I didn't have to understand her, but I had to respect her and her ability to assess herself and her well being. Anything less would be presuming superiority. Maybe you could talk to your husband and let him know you wish he'd give you a little more credit. Only you know if the discussion is even worthwhile. Many of us have born the brunt of being misunderstood by family, friends, and coworkers. Seems to come with the territory.

[Tired Linda]

LinkC wrote:
Excellent way to explain it, BS!! That's an analogy people can relate to, even if they've never broken a bone.

I'm stealing that...

You are welcome to use it.

I think it's safe to say this may be used by a lot of people!!! I certainly never thought of it that way. This is definitely something that would make sense to him.

wild mood swings are common to us hoseheads

LOL...and he thought the first "change of life" was rough. Well, at least he's had some practice.