question for parents

[sleepymama]

just wondering how many of you have children and what their reactions were to you having sleep apnea and using a machine? how old are they? my younger daughter is 5.5 and the first night i had the machine on she cried. she also thought that she will have sleep apnea and asked me how many event she has lol (guess she is listening when i talk to dh about them)

[fireman38355]

My kids are 12 and 10, both boys. They know I have been diagnosed with Complex Apnea, but we don't really talk about the seriousness of it. Don't get me wrong, they KNOW it's serious..... but I don't want them overly concerned that I could die at any time if the machine quits, or the power goes out, or the damage thats already been done takes it's toll...... etc...

You have to know my boys to understand that train of thought, they are just a little OCD about things and they would worry alot..... I just don't want them to have that worry right now.... not yet.

They mainly know that the machine takes care of my snoring, and they will learn the rest a little at a time.


Jeff

[sleepycarol]

I have 10 grandkids -- ranging in age from 13 down to 1 year.

When I first was diagnosed my 5 year old granddaughter was spending a lot of time here. I worried about her and didn't want her to be frightened about the machine. I gathered the grandkids together (I have been on my machine since August of 2070) and explained that it was to help grandma breathe at night. It was important that they not bother the machine during the day (our only bathroom is off my bedroom). I let them turn the machine on, explore it, try my mask on, feel how it feels with the air on, etc. That satisfied their curiosity and have not had a problem with it.

I feel that if you treat it like it it no big deal the kids will pick up on that and treat it as such. Yes, I have severe sleep apnea that is under control when using the machine. I probably have some health issues due to untreated sleep apnea, but do not dwell on it and I think the kids pick up on on that attitude.

[JohnBFisher]

My eldest was about the same age as your daughter. My youngest was just a baby. Like any other major change, be fairly open with them. Explain it's to help you sleep and feel better. Also explain that when she is old enough to need one, it is quite likely another approach will be available then.

Of course, my daughter had no problem with it - because I snored so VERY loudly. The CPAP (at the time) made me MUCH quieter. Not only did I sleep better, but everyone else did as well. 8^)

[Desperate_in_DM]

One child, my son is 21 months old. He said, "Mommy 'phant!" (elephant) when he came into our room during a nap (his father was supposed to have been watching him). He didn't seem scared of me with the mask on, he thought it was funny. He doesn't have the cognitive ability to understand why I have the mask. We'll worry about that later. Our room is off-limits to him, so I don't have to worry about the machine getting a dose of Monkey's curiosity.

[LSAT]

Desperate.....Do you really call your son 'Monkey'? Do you think this will cause him problems as he grows up and others start to call him Monkey?

[Desperate_in_DM]

Nope, we call him by name. I call him Monkey on internet forums (I belong to several) because I don't like using his real name with people I don't know. I decided on Monkey because he loves them so much.

[JohnBFisher]

Desperate.....Do you really call your son 'Monkey'? Do you think this will cause him problems as he grows up and others start to call him Monkey?

We used "pet" names for both of our children. Sometimes their friends would tease them, but in most instances the teasing would occur anyway (over some other issue). Some of their friends actually expressed envy at the intimacy / easy relationship it tends to evoke. Importantly, the "pet" name is a simple method to show your children that you care about them. Trust me, they knew they were in trouble when their full names suddenly appeared in the conversation!

I grew up in a family that did not use "pet" names. I much prefer the use of them.

[Tovi]

My kids are 8 and 5 and were accepting and curious. Before I got the machine, I showed them a youtube video of a man sleeping with a CPAP mask that was very similar to the one I was getting. I also turned up the volume, so they could hear the noise of the machine. I said I needed the machine to help me sleep better and to help feel better. I was very matter of fact. They had some questions about how it worked and asked if they could see me wearing it. So I showed them. They asked if I liked it. I said no, but it was okay and just something I needed to do for my health like brushing my teeth.

My son loves Star Wars, so we made several Darth Vader jokes. I also call myself a hosehead.

With this method, you can't be in the "closet" about being a hosehead. For a short while, my kids thought CPAP was interesting and told all their friends and sometimes random strangers about "Mommy's CPAP"

[Jaylee]

Desperate.....Do you really call your son 'Monkey'? Do you think this will cause him problems as he grows up and others start to call him Monkey?

I call my students "Chickens." Their parents now call them chickens. If I do not call them chickens, they will make grouchy faces at me and remind me that they are not kids, they are chickens. Terms of endearment are not harmful, I do not think.

[Janknitz]

I call my little one "Chicken" which morphed from "Chickadee". She is also called "Bee" which came from a name that rhymes with her true name that begins with a "B" (I don't post my children's names, either).

My eldest was "Lily Bear"--I'm not allowed to use that anymore since she is now too cool at 17 to have such a nickname. They grow up too, too fast!

The 17 year old is happy I'm using CPAP since my snores sometimes penetrated to her room, through two closed doors and a hallway, but doesn't want me "out in public" (the family room) with it. My little one just takes everything in stride. She's 9 and still thinks her mom is great, though I know my days of that are numbered.

[elena88]

I have seven grandkids.. from three to ten

I really had not planned on ANYONE knowing I had a cpap because I keep the rest of all my health issues private, EXCEPT FOR HERE, OMG!
but we have sleep overs all the time.. I figured out a way I could hide the machine with a scarf, and my husband said..
DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN KEEP THIS A SECRET?

its as plain as the nose on your face! The kids are going to see it, someone is going to see it, this house has a revolving door!

I was still determined, but after awhile I realized he was right.. sooner or later, I would forget to cover it, so next time the family came over, we showed the kids the machine, and my husband put the nose pilow mask on to show them.. they were all quite interested for a few minutes, we told the three year old granpa was pretending to be an elephant.. the older kids, thought it was pretty cool actually..
They got a kick out of him trying to talk with it, and if you have a full face mask you can make farting sounds, little boys love that!

Nobody has bothered with it since, but I do try to whip it off quickly when the kids come tearing in the bedroom in the morning and jump
all over the bed..

[sleepycarol]

Speaking of pet names -- I use them all the time with my kids and grandkids. To me it shows that they are special to grandma and a sign of love.

My oldest granddaughter has the nickname of Codeman (at the time Step by Step was on with Suzanne Sommers and one of the characters would be referred to this name). It has stuck all these years. Yesterday my 4 year old granddaughter was with me (along with the older one) and I called the older one Codeman. The younger one looked at me and stated -- "Grandma she is a girl so it should be Codegirl and not Codeman!!

Her mom, myself, and Codeman got a laugh at that.

[echo]

My BF's son was 10 when I got my cpap. We made all the darth vader jokes and explained that it stopped my snoring and made me less grouchy in the mornings, and no problem. He is definitely a curious monkey himself but has never ever touched it. He came to my titration study in the evening with his dad to say goodnight, we had fun laughing at all the cables hooked to my head, took pics and everything.

He doesn't have a nickname, but we had nicknames growing up. I was Bambino (no idea of the history of that one) when I was a baby.

Elena, your story makes me laugh A scarf? you would suffocate yourself first

[SleepingUgly]

For a short while, my kids thought CPAP was interesting and told all their friends and sometimes random strangers about "Mommy's CPAP"

It could be worse... When my son was 3 and we were at a grocery, shortly after I weaned his younger sister, he shouted at the top of his lungs, "Mommy, here is some cabbage for your nipples!!!"