Just Feel Like Sharing...

[thewritejerry]

I'm in a mood right now and feel like sharing.

I've been a lifelong insomniac (44 years) . Medication never works for me and always leaves me feeling like a zombie the entire next day.

Started with CPAP 3 weeks ago. It actually took until last week to get my rig set up to where I'm comfortable. Rainout had been a big issue for me. Turns out the first humidifier was malfunctioning. Replacement one works fine. Getting a fleece wrap for the hose has made a huge difference.

I've had maybe 3 days over the course of the three weeks where I woke up and said "hey, I slept last night" and actually made it through the day without being utterly exhausted.

Odds are I'm spending too much time in my head on the whole thing, using the machine as my new excuse to lie awake at night - "is it working?" "Do I look like an idiot?" "Is this scaring the cat?"

I'd like my mind to just shut off and sleep.

As I said, Insomnia has been a 44 year problem for me (my mom even says I never slept when I was a baby/toddler). I've always muddled through, but the last few years were so terrible that I finally went looking for solutions.

So here I am now, at the beginning of my CPAP treatment. I understand the theory behind CPAP on an intellectual level, and I'm committed to giving this a fair and lengthy trial.

But when will I begin to see some lasting results? I'm getting frustrated. What if after so many years of my brain having to stay hyper-alert to watch my breathing while I sleep that now it just can't even relax? I realize that I'm trying to undo decades of damage and that it can't be done overnight. But still, I have to ask "When?"

[harry33]

was apnea diagnosed from a sleep study?

[elena88]

But when will I begin to see some lasting results? I'm getting frustrated. What if after so many years of my brain having to stay hyper-alert to watch my breathing while I sleep that now it just can't even relax? I realize that I'm trying to undo decades of damage and that it can't be done overnight. But still, I have to ask "When?"

Hi, this can be a bit of a process.. you have been a life long insomniac.. its going to take some time to rewire your brain..

I, like you have been an insomniac since I was a child.. I know I have had OSA for many, many years.. I, however never took any sleep aids, because
I just cant stand taking medications. I just suffered.. turns out had I tried them, they would not have worked anyway..

What does work? Well, if you give this machine a chance, in a few months, you will start yawning.. I never yawned, ever.. I started to actually
get tired at night, at bedtime.. I used to stay up most of the night, get about four hours average.. that was a good night..

after being on my apap a few months, and believe me things got way worse before they got better... I started to actually want to go to sleep!
I even started dreaming? fancy that?

They say there is something called sleep debt to repay too.. whatever it is, your body will fight it for awhile, its so used to being starved for
sleep and oxygen.. its used to it.. comfy with it.. this is a BIG transition....

So, I think, the longer you didnt sleep, the longer it takes to adjust, and its not always a smooth ride.. but youll get there..

[DoriC]

Hi Jerry, Welcome! I read your post from a different perspective. In 3 weeks you've accomplished so much.
You've been able to set up your equipment comfortably.
You were able to recognize a malfunction and replacement of your humidifier
You've acquired a hose cover which is one of many useful accessories
AND, you've already had 3 nights of good sleep during a very stressful period of adjustment! Now your mind has to learn to adapt to this new way of life and it will. Have patience.
I'd say Well Done! Keep us posted.

[nanwilson]

Hi Jerry
Welcome and congrats at getting things done.
It will take time to iron out your past sleep habits, I've been at it just over 4 months and certainly do notice a big difference.
My Motto" Patience and persistance are the keys to good therapy" does the trick for me. One step at a time, and believe me I tried all the suggestions on this forum , some worked and some didn't. I just kept reading and trying new things until I got it right. You will too, you've allready fixed a few problems.......keep at it, you will get there.
Welcome and again congrats.
Cheers
Norma

[cjulia]

It's like you took the exact thoughts and words right out of my head and mouth! I feel exactly the same but I am taking the advice of all the very helpful and knowledgeable people in this forum and giving it time to work. I will continue to monitor data and my body and advocate for myself when needed. I will be hopeful and reach out to others when I need to. I will celebrate small successes and big ones. And when my treatment is consistently successful, I will say, "I'm glad I hung in there." You should do the same and when it works for you we will all celebrate with you.

[Janknitz]

I've had lots of insomnia issues over the last 20 years. I had to go to bed very late to sleep at all. I fell asleep slowly but usually without too much trouble. I would wake in the middle of the night, mind racing, heart pounding, sweating, every scary or negative thought in the world haunting my night. I'd be up for several hours and usually could go back to sleep only an hour or less before it was time to get up.

This is common in women in our family (many female realatives complain of this) and it's also a perimenopausal symptom. So I was really worried with CPAP, adding another stressor at night to disturb my fractured sleep.

When I finally got CPAP working for me, I found to my great surprise that I could sleep through the night. What I thought were familial traits and hormonal issues were . . . sleep apnea. We treated the sleep apnea, and the insomnia disappeared.

For the most part--sometimes I still have symptoms. I'm finding when I do, it's because of a leaky nasal pillow, a stuffy nose increasing my RERA's, or a pressure adjustment is needed. Fix those issues and I'm back to blissful sleep. I could get used to this!

Another interesting thing is putting on my mask is becoming my body's cue to go to sleep. I am asleep almost the minute my head hits the pillow--there used to be 20 or 30 minutes of tossing and turning or having to make up stories in my head to get myself to sleep. Now I rarely even get to think about anything before I am waking in the morning, blissfully comfortable.

[thewritejerry]

Thanks for all of the great encouragement, everybody! Each day gets a tiny bit better, and I think it's a matter of my brain getting to the point where it knows it can relax and trust the machine.

[riveredge]

I discovered my body lacked minerals and vitamins and the omega oils and so on-once I got straightened out (sorta) with nutrition the anxiety -nightmares-and laying awake wondering left--I put a fan on low for back ground noise -darkened the room-and like the one post--i start yawning at bed time now where before cpap I feared the night--been on it since first of this year---I love to sleep now--get 6-8 hours--but reading the forum till i fell asleep at computer was also a big help--keeping happy thoughts before bed or watch a funny show---all that stuff really works--keep at it--I swore up and down I would never wear a hose to breath and now I would never be with out it--makes life so nice...ps...thanks again all you forum memebers----