Bedside Jaws of Life – This was a miniature version of that lifesaving device found on every rescue vehicle. The concept was that when an apnea event occurred this would be thrust down a patient’s airway to open it up for life giving air. It failed in testing as patients complained about the pressure on their chests when their bed partners kept trying to pull start the gas engine.
The Chin Clamp – Fashioned after a wood clamp you would screw it down on your head to prevent mouth breathing. While it did prove a hundred percent effective it was taken off the market due to excessive cranial denting.
The Centralized CPAP System – This marvelous concept was discovered when the polarity on a central house vacuum system was reversed. Now you could enjoy therapy from any room in the house and all you needed was a hose and mask. Unfortunately with the first installation someone installed it with polarity reversed. It did end well as the original user now makes a great living as Mr.Inside Out Man.
The Stomach Sleeper CPAP Pillow – As most know stomach sleepers have the hardest time with CPAP therapy as masks tend to dig into their face. This innovative approach was to change the pillow into the interface and strap it to your face. The more you burrowed in the better the seal. It was later dubbed the “Angel of Mercy” mask due to its popular use in nursing homes across America.
Human Powered CPAP – Intended to harness the power of Restless Leg Syndrome this invention was simple in concept and design. Combining bellows with bicycle parts resulted in self powered therapy. The recurring dreams of just losing the Tour De France to Lance Armstrong over and over again proved a major hindrance to compliance.
Pant-O-PAP – Also marketed as CPUP this truly organic approach used a simple human to pet interface. Though only a few incidents of car chasing were reported, its true downfall was due to spousal complaints of territory marking.
Shrinky Dink Headgear – While a do it yourself custom fit was a worthy goal, nobody could keep their heads in the heated ovens long enough to get the headgear to shrink.
Lets Play Sleep Lab – Just like the play doctor sets this children’s toy attempted to simulate the Sleep Study experience. With wires, straps, hose, masks, toy monitors and plastic sheets your budding sleep tech could titrate friends and family. Once consumer groups compared it to “Lets Play Concentration Camp”, it was swiftly taken off the market.
CPAP Inventions that Didn’t Make It
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seanconnery
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