Why I Am The Perfect Woman! :-)

[Rapunzel111]

I love to joke about CPAP with other people and show others how to joke about having a CPAP machine also because it is a great ice breaker.

Each night at bedtime,I don a great padded eyemask and my CPAP nasal mask and sometimes when I am by myself, I will even put on headphones and play a relaxation CD,or a hypnosis CD which is really relaxing.I had a hypnotist actually tell me that listening to a hypnosis CD is equal to a few hours sleep which I tend to believe as they make me feel refreshed when I hear them! Talk about sensory deprivation!(But I get a great night's sleep!)

I also tape my mouth shut nightly with 3M Gentle Paper Tape and it works great for keeping my mouth shut and warding off airleaks via mouth.


I always tell my boyfriend that I am The Perfect Woman because I tape my mouth shut at least once a day!!!!!!!!

[rested gal]

You also have The Perfect Attitude, Rapunzel! Good post...made me smile.

[Rapunzel111]

Aww! Thanks Rested Gal !

[Autopapdude]

That is hysterical! You have a great attitude!

[miketech]

Perfect woman? Is there such a thing? Yea, yea, woman are nice to have around sometimes, but it's sooo much better to be a man!

The top ten reasons why it's better to be a man:

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental- $100.oo.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister,or mangle your feet.
One mood all of the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about Tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three -pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more that enough.
You almost never have a strap problem in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all of your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Mike

[harry33]

most eventually learn to keep mouth shut when asleep and no longer need the tape

agree that a humourous attitude to CPAP helps

[CollegeGirl]

Hey Mike -

Top 30 reasons it's better to be a woman

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.